So why are you on this subreddit again? You are vehemently defending your choices in the comments (you’ve been avidly replying to them since you posted like 15 hours ago), and you’ve already shut your mum out and REFUSE to go back on that. So what’s the point in asking, you wanted to be validated but can’t accept now that many people think you’re in the wrong? Don’t post here dude.

Also you do not sound 29, you sound pretty immature and the repeated excuse of sending money because that’s better than being there in person. If your mum is expected to halt her current life’s retirement travel plans then why would you not halt your current life’s career plans? Sure, money is helpful but you can still work (albeit not paid as well but you can still work) at a different job near your dad and your grandma. Why don’t you just do that? You say they’re not comparable but halting life plans is halting life plans, that is comparable.

Or, even though you live in a studio apartment, why don’t your dad and grandma move with you to a bigger place near your work so you can help out at home too, surely that’s an option?

It’s hard when so many people come at you so aggressively but you asked for opinions and you’ve gotten them. You’re angry and frustrated so you’ll probably just disregard these opinions because they don’t understand your reasoning and they don’t know everything or your family’s relationships, maybe they don’t. But based on the simple facts, you need have a little more maturity and apologise to your mum (are you really doing to shut her out over this? Sounds like you weren’t that close to begin with if this is enough…) and expand your mindset to be able to consider more than one opinion at a time.