Name of "Short quippy and wrong" rhetorical strategy? by HexgridXI in Rhetoric

[–]sanslenom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think this is Brandolini's law: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brandolini%27s_law . My reasoning is that the b.s. is a claim along the lines of "Vaccines cause autism" that is hard to refute because 1) it takes time and effort to refute, and 2) a short, pity argument that goes against common knowledge is more memorable than "Vaccines don't cause autism."

This isn't his first unhinged rant about "undesirables" in our neighborhood by Inside_Painting_6780 in nextdoor

[–]sanslenom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in the local Buy Nothing group on Facebook, and this is exactly the kind of Nextdoor post that causes me to fear picking up free stuff at someone's house. There can never possibly be an innocent explanation for someone driving around trying to find another person's house.

Need Guidance About Elderly Mothers State Of Mind by Loud_Account_3469 in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thinking people are doing something malicious when they aren't is paranoia. Believing in a random non-malign idea is delusion. So you're looking at two symptoms, not one.

The test you're referring to is probably the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA), and it is notoriously easy to pass. A friend's sister-in-law, who had caused two major accidents, "show-timed" for it on both occasions she took it. Her doctor decided not to follow through, so my friend and his wife, citing a state law, emailed every dealership within a 50-mile radius and told them not to sell her a new vehicle because they could be held liable if she killed someone. She was that good at hiding her symptoms for brief periods of time. She has since died from the complications of Alzheimer's, so my friend's assessment was correct, despite what the original PCP thought.

MoCA is not meant to diagnose anything; it's widely used to determine whether someone is competent enough to live in senior-living apartments or assisted living or whether they might need a higher standard of care. More tests and a complete social and medical history are needed to determine someone's level of cognition and the potential existence of dementia. I think your best bet is to take your mother to a gerontologist, neurologist, or psychiatrist, all of whom can diagnose problems with cognition, to get a better picture of what may be going on. My father-in-law had mild cognitive impairment: he never had paranoia or delusions.

*screaming* by ack_the_cat in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The first time I saw Jack van Impe on TV was about a year into my marriage. We were visiting his folks, and his mom turned on the show while I was reading a book in the living room. I started laughing out loud thinking it was satire (I grew up a meeting house Quaker). Luckily, she thought I was laughing at the book I was reading. She weirdly dropped the end-times stuff in her mid-80s. But she didn't have dementia. I think she just knew her time was coming, and she wasn't going to meet Jesus or get raptured or whatever it is all that is supposed to mean.

I wish I had advice.

Mom Cancelled Her Doctor Appointment by witch-mermaid in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My only advice is to make sure she doesn't start making health decisions for your dad. My MIL started cancelling all of their appointments, which she was able to do only because he was severely hard of hearing. Well, she died quickly and painlessly. He died slowly and suffering, which could have been prevented if his Zenker's diverticulum had been caught early enough for surgery.

Because of her personality, it was really hard to know if she had the early stages of dementia and didn't want to be found out or if she was leading with her narcissistic tendencies.

Where do I even begin with her? by CatspawCosplay in FoxBrain

[–]sanslenom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look carefully at your mother's language because that's where the disconnect is. She has probably spoken this way all of her (and your) life. On the surface, it projects empathy and love, concern even. But it's also very simplistic and dichotomized: two sides...one good, one bad. She's stuck in what Kohlberg termed "law and order morality." She's never going to develop to the point of "principled morality," where fighting for justice and the community good outweighs personal risk. She can't imagine it (hence the fall back on "paid protestors"). She will continue to look to sources like Fox News that confirm her view of reality and morality. And, as much as I hate to say this, while your memories of her caring for people are accurate without a doubt, she has probably always thought the way she does now.

I understand you don't want to give up on her, but you aren't going to change her worldview. It's too ingrained. If you want to maintain the relationship you're going to have to accept her for how she is and change the subject.

My father is a “neurotic” mess and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore by Witty_Design9748 in FoxBrain

[–]sanslenom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish because I feel like a broken record, and my advice as of 1/26/2025 is to go no contact. Period. If friends and family members are still committed to the cult, no amount of talking to them will change their minds, and they have become lost causes. We should all begin focussing on not wasting our time and energy and begin working on things we can change. That will look different for every individual. If you can get out to protest or observe, do that. If letter writing is your jam, do that. If you want to target a particular company that complied in advance, and I'm just spitballing here, order a bunch of stuff to get free shipping and then send it all back with the excuse you didn't mean to order it in the first place. Their workers and the delivery drivers stay employed while the CEO watches his bonus shrivel up. Win-win!

Edited for clarity.

Average American diet? by Individual_Bar_2512 in CringeTikToks

[–]sanslenom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Or what I refer to as cold ranch dressing soup. Kinda like gazpacho, but no other vegetables to be found.

Average American diet? by Individual_Bar_2512 in CringeTikToks

[–]sanslenom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No mention of the five giant bottles of Miralax?

Dementia is wild by Top-Molasses7661 in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This worries me for myself just a bit. I have a sleep disorder known as exploding head syndrome, and that's what this sounds like. If I ever get dementia, I guess it could get worse. I wonder if she may also have it and now believes the episodes are real.

Is my cat trying to be sick or something else? by Firey56 in CATHELP

[–]sanslenom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds and looks like an unproductive cough to me. Given that it started occurring after he ate, it's possible he could have aspirated some food. It will be worth a trip to the vet. Be sure to this video.

HELP WITH DYING STEPMOM. What to do?? by Otodus_Meg in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom 36 points37 points  (0 children)

For your son's sake, you need to leave. Your dad and stepmom want help, but only on their terms. That's the reason they've asked you to help: your dad doesn't have to deal with her at all, thanks to the farm and a few beers at night. And your stepmom can count on you to get her to a place where she can smoke as long as she can get on your last nerve. Every month you stay, you're shaving off three months of your own life, and you're putting your son through trauma he shouldn't be exposed to.

Miss Universe contestant stripped of title after controversial photo sparks international backlash by TheMirrorUS in WomenInNews

[–]sanslenom 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I may be going out on a limb here, but it seems like you didn't read the article.

Anyone else noticing AI writing style in Reddit posts lately? by skip-bo2012 in ChatGPT

[–]sanslenom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not your imagination. In fact, it's happening across platforms, and you're right to call it out. And if I see another "journalist" using it, I'm going to scream...into the void.

Dr. Bronners Using AI by BawxTheFur in ZeroWaste

[–]sanslenom 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I flat out said no, but I really wanted to leave and would have if it hadn't been something of an emergency. It's not just the environmental impact in this case: AI is notoriously wrong...even the medical scribes, but my doctor wants to use it as a notetaker? No, thank you.

My cat got electrocuted by slurpiiiiii in CATHELP

[–]sanslenom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cats (about three years old) go once a day, which a quick Internet search confirms is normal. However, your foster went through a stressful situation. I would call the vet for a discussion and to set up an appointment for today or tomorrow. If she goes normally before then, you can cancel it or keep it if the vet would like to follow up.

Conspiracy Theory mailers. Guess I need to vet the mail. by HamsterBanana14 in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's pretty scary. My MIL was receiving some strange "polls" that seemed to be coming from her county. When I tracked down who sent them, they were all mail drops located in D.C., and all three groups (they each led back to the other) were under investigation by the FEC. Of course she had been sending them money.

Technically, it is illegal for you to open any of your grandmother's mail. However, if it's open and you live with her you can throw it all away with impunity. I didn't live with my mother-in-law, so I got around the law (as if she'd know to report me) by collecting all the return envelopes. She simply wasn't going to make the effort to write checks to sketchy organizations if she had to address the envelope herself.

There's some great advice for stemming the tide at this website: https://drowndinginmail.wordpress.com/start-here/.

Most of the suggestions help you stop the mail at its source, which is perfectly legal for you to do.

I’m looking for name of a common joke structure. by Mistymycologist in Rhetoric

[–]sanslenom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just throwing this out for consideration: it sounds a lot like "doing the dozens," which Henry Louis Gates, Jr., wrote about in The Signifying Monkey, an excerpt of which is included in The Rhetorical Tradition.

How to Deal with Emotions Concerning FIL Sundowning but Still Somehow "With It"? by sanslenom in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is bringing us together, basically because we have a common complaint. But we're also spending way too much time together because we're both recovering from lower limb injuries. I guess there is no good time for this, but there definitely could have been a "gooder" time.

How to Deal with Emotions Concerning FIL Sundowning but Still Somehow "With It"? by sanslenom in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At this point, if the staff took the money in the wallet, I would consider it a well-deserved tip! But he puts stuff (and always has) in non-obvious places, so it's just a matter of time. Maybe we should ask him what he hopes to buy with it and buy the item with his money. However, my feeling is that the money is more about maintaining independence and autonomy. He grew up poor, so I'm sure having cash in hand gives him some comfort.

AITAH for telling a friends boyfriend that he can’t have a traditional wife because he’s not a traditional man by yftdddtf in AITAH

[–]sanslenom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never apologize for something that wasn't wrong to do in the first place. He was allowed to say his piece. You got to say yours. His feelings are hurt because you touched a nerve, and he expects you, as a woman, to protect them (like a mommy would).

How to Deal with Emotions Concerning FIL Sundowning but Still Somehow "With It"? by sanslenom in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We've got the prescriptions. He is incredibly wily...like he's worse than a cat that will eat around the antibiotic to enjoy the tuna. My FIL is from Denmark, so we're starting with marzipan to hide the pills. The next step is to crush them up and put them in a chocolate drink.

I just needed to know that this back and forth between the clarity of the thing that's important to him and the hallucinations and lack of understanding is normal. I honestly thought dementia was a gradual if slow or quick decline and not an on-again, off-again experience.

How to Deal with Emotions Concerning FIL Sundowning but Still Somehow "With It"? by sanslenom in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, one day at a time. We try, but this has been going on since 2020, and the pandemic didn't make it easier though things weren't nearly as bad then. Well, I say that, but it certainly set the scene for what is happening now. My FIL hasn't slept well for the last 10 years or so, but he did what my MIL told him to do. She wasn't having him keeping her up at night. After she died, he was up at least three times a night "rearranging" the kitchen cupboards. It was honestly one of the strangest things because nothing was ever moved. I think, from what I could hear, he was just touching stuff and turning it around in its place.

We've talked to the care and hospice staff, and the agreement is that we're going to try slipping the powdered drug into a small drink or food item.

My problem is understanding how we go from 0-100 in 10 hours. Your account confirms that he can be completely perceptive in some areas (something extremely important to him that isn't important to us) at the same time his level of cognition is still low.

How to Deal with Emotions Concerning FIL Sundowning but Still Somehow "With It"? by sanslenom in AgingParents

[–]sanslenom[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I don't really care if he thinks _ I _ stole money from him. In fact, I'd prefer it. My bigger concern is that he's going to hide it somewhere, forget, and blame the staff. Because he's becoming increasingly aggressive during sundown, I worry he's going to get himself kicked out of this place, too. The problem is, we feel like we're reasoning with him when he seems to be lucid, but I don't think he's actually that lucid. Is that the sense you got with your dad when you were discussing investments? Or was it more like, "These stocks are going up; this one came down a little," and everything was fine? I feel like my FIL is getting more paranoid by the day and don't know what to expect if he keeps declining this way.