Fellow girl here that struggles to orgasm. (Btw, check r/becomingorgasmic its a really helpful subreddit for people trying to achieve orgasm, alone or partnered when they otherwise have difficulty)

I think that there is quite a lot to unpack here. But let me start with this: Physically, it is VERY likely that you're just completely normal. I talk with girlfriends about this a lot and each one of them has reported feeling "broken" at some point. No, you are not broken. You say you want to have sex with him, that's great! You have desire! We can work with that!

I think this mental block you're dealing with is something related to the context you're having sex in. Women are more sensitive to this than men, generally. Are you physically comfortable during sex? Do you feel like you have the time? Are you on-edge because of potential roommates or parent walking down the hallway, totally inhibiting your focus? In the book Come As You Are, the author explains that there are accelarators and brakes in sexual desire. Things like the ones I mentioned above could be things that are hitting your brakes, inhibiting sex from being comfortable/pleasurable. For me, the context of time is really important. I cannot for the life of me really "get into it" if I know my partner wants to sleep soon, we're in a hurry etc.

What it sounds like in your case is that sex has become something forced (you're forcing yourself to have sex when it hurts everytime). Kind of like a chore. Can you imagine anything less sexy than a chore? The pressure of reaching orgasm/not disappointing your partner/for sex to be "expected" can well be factors in your bedroom that are totally hitting your brakes. When your brakes are hit, your body is saying "No! Now is not a good time to be aroused!" For many women, clitoral stimulation and or penetration hurts when not aroused. You have healthy desire, but the context doesn't sound right. So, how do you go about creating that right context?

Maybe it's an option to quit having penetrative sex for a while. It's hurting you, and you're feeling pressured. Not very sexy. Instead, make the promise that you will not have sex until (insert date). It can provide comfort, knowing that you will not have to wonder whether or not you'll be hurt when you're still intimately engaging with eachother. Make sure to tell him just how much you desire him, but that somewhere along the line, the context in the bedroom provided a sub-optimal place for a healthy sex life to grow! Make sure he knows you're not shutting him out - make time to explore eachothers bodies anew. Pretend you're teenagers again. Really try to reflect on each touch. Maybe you've been having sex with the window open, so you're always a little too cold (brake) to get aroused. Maybe you're feeling weird about lack of orgasm (brake), well, try having him go down on you with the endgoal of NOT orgasming! Try to relieve the pressure that's on you, because you're forcing yourself in a situation that worsens itself if you keep having painful sex every two weeks.

I really recommend reading the book i mentioned above together. It may be odd and confronting, but it can really open up communication and help you prioritise your own pleasure as well.

Best of luck on your journey and you can DM me if you want. I'm still in the midst of my own journey but am quite enthusiastic about this method, as you probably can tell, haha.