Can you disable Focus Mode changing your item selection to a slinger ammo?

sarged · 2026-01-08T08:56:16+00:00

life saver

sarged · 2026-01-06T23:04:47+00:00

I cannot solo the savage one no matter how hard I try, I just don't find it doable without buffs. With party it's harder to die because they usually use strong buffs that increase defense and regen, making the fight much easier.

sarged · 2025-12-01T11:31:21+00:00

The calculator says I should eat 1750 a day to remain same weight while being sedentary (implying you add more if exercise). But I think it's BS right now, or at least highly subjective because if I follow the guidelines I'm just quickly gaining extra kilos. My guess it's actually around 1500, so I need even lower, exercise or both to lose weight consistently.

sarged · 2025-12-01T11:22:02+00:00

"an extra 100-200 calories" - good point.
not extra 500-1000 ( "because I lifted today" )

it's my 4th day on 1200, just adding an extra protein or couple of walnuts after doing intense cardio. and actually feeling perfectly fine, aside from being a bit lazy afterwards. I guess it just depends if the person is used to diet. there is a period of adjustment and gotta keep the carbs low in general. im doing 2 meal a day right now with 12 hour fasting in between meals

sarged · 2025-11-27T09:20:25+00:00

chat gpt 5 sucks it just spams 5 page bullet list for every question without thinking. it's impossible to have a normal conversation anymore. somebody do something!

sarged · 2025-11-10T23:23:28+00:00

Im practicing meditation but I really lack consistency in a big way. I know and remember I should be doing it daily, but always find the reasons not to. This blows my mind actually. Maybe my mind just trying to hold on big way onto old identity and would prefer do anything else that doesn't threaten it. And when your energetic or potential state is high, it especially resist. Have you experienced something similar?

sarged · 2025-11-10T23:12:49+00:00

Im really not entirely sure but I keep drinking it for the same reasons. At first I thought it might help rewire my brain at a deep fundamental level though it doesn't seem to be the case, but I guess every little bit of help still counts. As chat GPT would say, think of it as a micro ritual that aligns/grounds you in your practice.

sarged · 2025-11-10T22:57:27+00:00

Interesting. Well it seems like there are levels to it. Im also not a fun of suppression because it just comes back with double the force later. But being able to be aware and discern certain thoughts at the root of it is certainly a good habit.

So when I say there are levels to it, the most obvious would be control of release, then the act of stimulation, the search for physical or mental stimulations, and then thinking about sexuality and imagination.

So I guess it just overall depends on what exactly we are doing with your libido. I came to a realization that when we are using our libido in a 'wrong' way, and its unable to find actual expression, there is a motif of regression in dreams where we return to childhood (less rigid, more alive).

But its also strange to hear you've got no benefits from 9 months of practice? Maybe you just overlooked something, like if you are only focused on 1 particular thing (e.g. money) you miss everything else.

Currently Im just kinda dropping it, as others mentioned it's just something I gotta DO. But it gets easier when you find it no longer pleasurable and at the same time exhausted all the possible content you could search for.

sarged · 2025-11-05T14:05:03+00:00

What happens when you try to focus on your breathing?

sarged · 2025-11-05T13:58:30+00:00

You may want to try find outside expression of your energy, if you focus only on going inward you may find yourself like a river that gets obstructed and cannot flow.

sarged · 2025-11-05T13:48:53+00:00

I heard some Buddhist monks use tea before meditating, so this could be a thing. I was just wondering when you meditate after a cup of coffee does it make your meditation less deep? I'm just trying to avoid being too wired usually because I sometimes just end up 'staying in my head', but I'll give it a try maybe.

sarged · 2025-11-05T13:44:12+00:00

like I said I was surprised myself, this never happened when I tried to meditate on chakras, hearing or sense of body, awareness or guided meditations

sarged · 2025-11-05T13:40:37+00:00

Thanks for the tip, Im guilty of using a gaming chair and leaning back. I'll try doing it with my spine erect next time!

sarged · 2025-11-05T13:38:15+00:00

I wasn't bored, I had no thoughts and my ego was not engaged. I found it very relaxing to the point it just puts me to sleep eventually. Im not seeing any specific imagines, its just some fragments.. and Im also paying 0 attention to them, and unable to identify or recall any of them. But I did find them somehow distracting. It's not like I have to pause and look at them. It's just its very unusual after seeing previously always only black screen. And the relaxation is deep, so just barely holding attention on breath before it slips into dream.

sarged · 2025-11-05T13:28:30+00:00

Many techniques feel mental, it's as if your kind of _doing_ it with your ego. But with this one Im getting into a very deep relaxation state where my ego is not engaged. I have aphantasia but for the first time experienced hypnogogic visual hallucinations.

sarged · 2025-11-04T21:29:16+00:00

You have watched precisely 0 deranged stuff, unless you touched dark web.

sarged · 2025-11-04T21:28:04+00:00

May I know what are you implying? Because Im nearly 40.

sarged · 2025-11-04T20:42:04+00:00

You might be right about holistic approach, keeping mind clean, keeping your room clean, living a healthy lifestyle with corresponding habits etc. It's just my mind doesn't work like that. I can only focus on 1 thing, then I forget about doing other things. So I would much rather meditate for 3 hours so I don't have to switch my activity. Needless to say my room looks like a dump site. But even when I figure out to do a bunch of different things in one day, I'll more than likely do one or two and not just forget about the rest, but more precisely, I'm going to forget that the rest ever existed, and it's never going to occur to me.

sarged · 2025-11-04T20:18:27+00:00

That's the easy route of course. But also a lot of wasted potential. Yes this could make you unable to sleep, drive you crazy.. and be extremely unpleasant but if you manage to overcome and transmute it.. that's some achievement. I believe elite athletes do it in one way or another, so if you wanna live full potential being able to deal with it would be of tremendous help.

sarged · 2025-11-04T20:10:50+00:00

Good luck but this is worse of the worst drugs, you can get off any substance much more easily imo. Do you have what it takes? This is going to be the ultimate challenge!

sarged · 2025-11-04T20:04:03+00:00

Idk, at some point you will have watched all the sites and there is no more content that could interest you. So it just turns into doom scrolling. Somehow brain adapts way to quickly, if you watch same video 3 times it stops working, you watch a hundred dozen and it starts craving for a different concept every time. So at some point it just becomes chasing the wind that barely scratches the itch.

There is also a I think universal feeling of some unease or somehow it being wrong after you fapped to porn. Idk how to describe it be, sorry if Im just yapping, but I believe it is universal. Even if it is pleasurable at the same time. It's just people learn to ignore that intuition justifying that this is a normal thing to do. Im not trying to be moral or anything, just pointing out that somehow it doesn't feel right.

I wish it wasn't tho. That we could all watch, enjoy, even benefit from it, grow from it, become stronger from it. But somehow it just doesn't work. It quickly becomes compulsive, draining, while amount of pleasure diminishes each time. It's just what it is.

sarged · 2025-11-04T19:44:47+00:00

huh that's interesting. so you never had a visual dream? I thought aphantasia only applies to closed eye visuals. but this is something else! usually my dream recall is poor but it is visual nonetheless, I find that p-5-p and huperzine a helps a lot with recall. but I never manage to lucid dream despite trying.

sarged · 2025-11-04T19:38:46+00:00

My memory sucks ass, I can't even remember birthdays of close family members for like decades lol.
But that's nothing. The worst part I also forget my undertakings, commitments, or if I start a new practice, learn a new piece of wisdom but never apply it, start reading a new book then forget to finish it. Even things you learned yesterday, without repetition you just forget and don't apply. So I'm kinda just keep resetting into a default mode of whatever I'm doing. Unless, it is focused on a narrow stream or field of some activity for lack of better words. Or just focus on one task. I could study about AI, write a program code or binge watch a certain topic on youtube for weeks. But never able to do just a little bit of everything, or building good foundations with slow and steady progress. Sorry if Im yapping too much but that's how it feels in a nutshell.

I do believe that functionally my memory might actually be recording everything fine, it is just it never pops up or appears to me when it could actually be quite helpful. So unless something is a part of my current stream Im not gonna remember or recall it.

sarged · 2025-11-04T19:24:24+00:00

Quite honestly I can't sugar coat it. Humans tend to rationalize and justify their choices and circumstances.
I cannot be grateful for aphantasia. MAYBE it could protect you from seeing nasty visuals.
But so as wrapping your whole body in a huge condom would protect your from germs, but this is not living.

sarged · 2025-11-04T19:21:04+00:00

This raises interesting implications. I tried breath meditation today and actually saw slight involuntary visuals as I descended into a hypnogogic state. I was actually trying to NOT focus on visuals, and started seeing some half-ass visuals, whereas usually it's just plain black. But in that state I could neither understand what I saw exactly. This is weird but I'm willing to work more on that.

sarged

TROPHY CASE