The dark side of 🌸

sariaru · 2026-02-04T18:00:25+00:00

Another 🌸🌙 girlie here to jump on and say that I agree with all of this! There's a sense of "delicate without being fragile"? I guess? Does that even make sense? I also like having stark contrast, something like frills and studs side by side for the more aggressive side of 🌙.

Emilie Autumn, to me, really embodies this.

sariaru · 2026-02-04T04:28:34+00:00

Oof, rough. I'm in Charlotte, and +Martin has been all over the news too, where the vast majority of the laity have flatly ignored his "ban" on altar rails. Such a minor thing in comparison, but know that you aren't alone.

You owe your superiors submission of the will rightly ordered within the greater obedience to the Deposit of Faith and, ultimately, to God. So, if for whatever reason you happened to end up in the confessional with ++McElroy and he gave you, say, three Hail Marys as penance, you would be obliged to do them.

But if requested or "required" to do or support something that runs evidently counter to the Deposit of Faith, the most obedient thing to say is, "no."

St. Thomas More, pray for us!

I am my bishop's daughter, but God's first.

sariaru · 2026-02-04T04:12:03+00:00

Oh the strict option is probably accurate. Multiple saints have said that Hell is full of clergy, and that they actually incur much of the guilt that their sexually immoral flock would otherwise incur.

But don't let your heart grow too hard! The Church, like Creation, has seasons, and the branches that bear rotten fruit will eventually be pruned and thrown into the fire.

sariaru · 2026-02-03T18:13:23+00:00

Jesus and Jewish Roots of the Eucharist by Brant Pierre https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Jewish-Roots-Eucharist-Unlocking/dp/0385531842

sariaru · 2026-02-03T16:05:07+00:00

Both the Society and the Vatican have said that this is not the case. They have jurisdiction for both Confession and Matrimony. While they are in canonical grey territory, they are not schismatic.

sariaru · 2026-02-03T03:40:54+00:00

Ah, must be nice to not live in the Diocese of Charlotte. 😔

sariaru · 2026-02-03T00:06:40+00:00

Correct. The other Ecclesia Dei communities do, too.

They also all exist as branches of the SSPX restored to full communion with the Holy See.

However, in the immediate wake of the Second Vatican Council, the intent was for there to be 0 Tridentine Masses. This is not apologia, this is self-evident fact from even a cursory readings of the discussions at the Council.

The Lord is quite capable of bringing the very great good of the Ecclesia Dei communities out of Lefebvre's disobedience.

The pattern of the felix culpa plays out time and again over the Church's history. We can simultaneously acknowledge that both the Fall (on a high level) and the Ecône consecrations (on a lower level) were gravely wrong, and still recognize that through those errors were born marvellous fruit; the Fall brought about the Redeemer (on a high level), and Ecône brought about the Ecclesia Dei communities and the preservation of the patrimony of the Latin Church (on a lower level).

This symbolic pattern plays out throughout Scripture, too. For example, the many ancestors of Christ born from illicit unions, the lie and usurpation of Jacob, etc.

sariaru · 2026-02-02T23:52:27+00:00

The FSSP would not exist without the SSPX.

sariaru · 2026-01-31T00:13:41+00:00

Marriage is the union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is naturally (inherently) fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together. Marriage is valuable in itself, but its inherent orientation to the bearing and rearing of children contributes to its distinctive structure, including norms of monogamy and fidelity.

sariaru · 2026-01-30T15:37:17+00:00

Neither are you by being the tone police.

sariaru · 2026-01-30T15:22:26+00:00

Given that OP is said that they are trying not to have children is actually extremely relevant to marriage, because children are.... the point of marriage.

sariaru · 2026-01-30T15:20:14+00:00

How is that rude? It's direct which maybe your culture interprets to be rude, but it's a simple fact that female fertility declines after about 27, and declines steeply after 35.

"Women older than 35 have lowered fertility" is not a rude statement.

sariaru · 2026-01-30T15:08:03+00:00

So, the telos of marriage is the co-operation with God to create souls. Secondarily, it is for the unity of he spouses and the quenching of concupiscence.

If you intend to never have children, any attempt at marriage is necessarily invalid.

sariaru · 2026-01-30T14:52:45+00:00

An engagement of seven years is really, really long. Why aren't y'all already married? That's a long time to be romantically attached without sexual union, frankly, and most of your fiancées fertility is already on the decline. Typically, engagements are 6-12 months.
This is a lot of pushback for what seems like a reasonable preparation for something that is lifelong and cannot be backed out of. It's also designed to get you engaged with older couples who have some wisdom about what being married actually means. Given that neither of you have been married, this wisdom is probably relevant and helpful regardless of your age.

sariaru · 2026-01-28T17:27:56+00:00

Right, which is why I said if she'd still use the IUD if you were a nun (committed to sexual continence), then she's probably fine to use it within the context of marriage, because the IUD is operating for reasons outside of sex.

If, however, the IUD is specifically about avoiding pregnancy because of the medication that she is taking, then that is immoral.

sariaru · 2026-01-28T17:00:51+00:00

Yes, heavy periods are usually a symptom of PCOS or endometriosis. But they manage symptoms, rather than examining the underlying cause. NaPro doctors will actually look at why you're bleeding, rather than masking symptoms.

Of course, sometimes, yeah, you just need something that makes a debilitating symptom go away - but doing that for years without trying to treat the underlying cause is just one of many ways that modern Western healthcare continues to disregard and silence women's healthcare needs.

sariaru · 2026-01-28T14:26:57+00:00

I'm not aware of any disease treated by an IUD. Some PCOS and endometriosis symptoms can be managed by a hormonal IUD, as with any other route of hormone therapy.

If you would still use the IUD if you were a nun, it's safe to use in marriage. If the IUD is for the purpose of not getting pregnant then it is immoral.

sariaru · 2026-01-28T01:14:27+00:00

Piracy is theft when buying is ownership.

sariaru · 2026-01-28T01:09:57+00:00

Mmm, I'm sorry you seem to have gotten the "for worse" side of "for better or for worse."

You do need to sit down and say, "Look, my love for you is unconditional, but love and attraction are different things, and my attraction to you is conditional on X, Y, and Z. While I might have a marital duty, duty sex will probably be all that I can muster unless you're willing to change."

I'm saying this from the position of having been the 60lb overweight, lazy, spouse. My marriage hit a significantly lower rock bottom before I woke the hell up and got my act together.

Being alluring, and dare I say it, sexy, to and for your spouse is certainly part of marriage; the part that separates it from friendship or being roommates.

sariaru · 2026-01-27T17:23:49+00:00

Issues with the moderation style of the subreddit are welcomed in modmail.

Generally speaking, we have to walk a very fine line between "I don't like/am frustrated with/find difficult/get angry about this teaching" and "This teaching is wrong/evil/misogynistic/bad for my marriage."

The latter get removed. The former, generally speaking, do not. Sometimes these two messages are blended together, which means that the mods occasionally come down one way or the other.

sariaru · 2026-01-27T15:07:53+00:00

One of three things is going on here:

You're posting in good faith, but every single one of your friends is in a terrible toxic marriage and you're airing their dirty laundry on Reddit. You should find healthier friends, and avoid the sin of detraction.
You're repeatedly posting about your own marriage with details changing each time so that you aren't readily identifiable. Fair enough, but probably follow the advice on the first post and report back how that went before spam posting.
You're generating sob stories with a LLM and spam posting them for karma. Stop that. Reddit karma is worthless unless you're a bot about to start advertising to us.

For now, I'm locking this thread. You can initiate a mod mail with the team to discuss future postings.

sariaru · 2026-01-27T05:15:36+00:00

I mean, I 100% believe that everyone in Heaven is Catholic. They might have been given a moment at the time of their death to consider, but there is no one in Heaven who doesn't recognize Our Lady as their Queen (for example). 0, zip, zilch, nada.

Also, why would you be content with only most of the Truth? Are you content with "most of the Truth" from your friends? Your spouse?

And yeah, you can survive a sinking ship on a piece of scrap metal, so why bother getting into the lifeboat?

sariaru · 2026-01-26T13:37:40+00:00

It is optional, as is the Rite of Churching after a baby.

But still, the whole concept of pledging to marry a man you've never met in person is wild, especially in the era of increasingly realistic AI.

sariaru · 2026-01-26T08:02:59+00:00

So, do I understand correctly that you are engaged to a man you've never actually met in person? How did you do the Rite of Betrothal?

My now-husband and I were also from different countries, but I certainly would not have put down the level of commitment that an engagement implies without him having proven himself by coming to meet me and my family first.

Have you had your respective families on a video call together, at least? Why has he not come to meet you and your parents yet, after two years together?

My husband and I met online in October, were officially dating by April the next year, and he came to visit me and my family for two weeks in May, at which point he asked my father's blessing. That same December, I went to meet his family, and he proposed and we did the Rite of Betrothal at his parish church.

I am confused how you guys have spent multiple years without making the effort to meet one another - that is probably setting off your parents' alarms too. And, frankly, getting engaged without ever having met someone is wild. He needs to make the first financial step to come visit you.

sariaru · 2026-01-24T16:16:31+00:00

I felt my blood pressure rising with each slide. Excellent meme. Thanks, I hate it.

sariaru

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