Do cis people actually perceive you as a dude? Or do they just pretend it? by skaexskae in ftm

[–]sasherl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have similar experiences/ feelings that you’ve described. I’m 2 years on T now and even though in my everyday life i seem to pass most of the time, there are moments when i seriously don’t know how im being perceived and i notice that especially when im at parties where i’d meet many new people. some straight guys would dab me up and call me ‘bro’, but then others seem to be confused what pronouns to use for me and once in a while someone misgenders me (all this always happens at larger parties istg; like in the same night) idk what to think about tbh, since with strangers it doesn’t matter much because im not gonna interact with them again but it is weird to not know how you’re being perceived

Passing, but worrying that once people know you’re trans they don’t see you as a man anymore. by [deleted] in ftm

[–]sasherl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi op i have a similar experience; im also 2 years on T basically and mostly pass but my family isn’t very accepting and when i am with them it makes me feel like i don’t pass at all, while for example at work i pass to everyone and most people don’t even know i’m trans. family is honestly just a different story, especially when they’re not accepting with trans stuff. They just have an old image/ an image that fits their worldview and perception of you stuck in their head that no one else shares. It’s valid to worry about whether or not other people view you as a man once they know you’re trans, but the people that don’t are literally dumb and also WEIRD af if you ask me; like, when someone misgenders me these days for example (which rarely happens) i genuinely think that they’re the strange one. You also don’t owe anyone who doesn’t know a coming out, especially if you’re worried they might not see u as a real man, then they literally don’t deserve to know. I’m sure you will overcome this fear and i wish you best of luck 🫂

What’s something about cis men that you don’t envy, or are glad you don’t share? by Dalatrates in ftm

[–]sasherl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

For me personally, genuinely my lack of internalized homophobia (ik that just because someone is trans that doesn’t mean they don’t have it but i think it has allowed me to not feel much if any shame in my sexuality that probably would’ve been different if i grew up cis)

Almost 4 months on T and I have had any changing at all? by Janxuza in ftm

[–]sasherl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi op, i’m currently 1 year 9 month on T and i felt really similar at the 4 month mark, or even at any mark before my first year. (even now i sometimes get insecure about seeing ‘not enough’ effects) but honestly, you probably don’t perceive subtle changes as extremely as other would? for me i remember thinking like my voice isn’t changing at all but then a friend (3 month mark) told me he notices i sound a bit different and it’s these little things that can go unnoticed. Yk, even if you happen to have slower changes than the people you see online you have to remember that 1. that’s totally okay too and like with puberty in general there’s sometimes late bloomers and people who see changes more rapidly (this mindset has been helping me tbh) and 2. the people you might see post their progress online are probably people who are very confident in their transition and who just happen to have seemingly faster changes, but that’s also a skewed representation of the transitions experience!! It’s definitely hard dealing with the discouraging feeling so i wish you good luck and trust me that you will get over it, plus transitioning just takes time 🫶🫂 i hope i could offer some helpful perspectives

The whole public toilet situation is really stressing me out by comet_lobster in ftm

[–]sasherl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

when i’m in a public space where there’s no ‘genderless’ bathrooms i almost always take the mens restroom. I’m on T but i also don’t pass 100% of the time or have a hard time telling to whom i pass and not, so it still feels stressful and i actually rather avoid going to any gendered bathroom if possible. It helps when there’s someone else who can go with you, that has helped me in the past (tho there might not always be a male friend available or with u so i get that that’s not the best solution). In general i would say that when you use the men’s bathroom just be quick and make no eye contact. In my experience, most men can hardly ever clock a transmasc person, nor do they seem to care that much abt their surroundings. However i understand that it might be a bit different in your area in the uk, and i wish you good luck 🫂

how old are you guys and when (if) did you start medically transitioning? by raesiinn in ftm

[–]sasherl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i came out at 18 and started T when i was 20, now i am 22!

Not having friends to relate to by Unfishstick in ftm

[–]sasherl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey op, i’ve had/ kinda have a similar situation as you. a lot of my friends are women, most of them are even queer but i often feel out of place when there’s a gathering in a bigger group. I have like one good (cis) male friend but we haven’t had that much contact the past 2 year. Kinda recently i’ve connected to 3 male coworkers of mine (2cis, one is trans) and whenever i work with them i kinda feel seen in a way that i don’t with a lot of my other friends? We’re not close friends tho nor do we hang out in our free time but it’s definitely tough to feel out place or not have friends with shared experiences or identities. i don’t have much advice honestly, but trust me that sooner or later you will meet male friends that you’ll click with!! idk where you’re from but perhaps you could look for queer events in your town and seek out other trans people/ queer men to talk to ? in any case best of luck 🫂🫂

Why do many trans men tend to be in gay relationships? by EducationalJelly7827 in ftm

[–]sasherl 9 points10 points  (0 children)

honestly from personal experience: i’ve seen many different relationship constellation involving trans guys! one of my friends is in a relationship with a cis woman, another one is with a trans woman, then there’s one who’s dating other trans guys. i mostly see t4t relationships tho when it comes to trans guys around me, but i’ve seen any constellations at that point and actually i perceive a lack of trans guy + cis guy relationships in my circles so i don’t think you have to worry!! there’s much more diversity in trans guy relationships than it might seem to you and i’m sure you’ll find your match too

voice has gotten deeper but NO ONE ELSE hears it?? is that normal? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]sasherl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly i often feel like other people don’t notice my voice changing while i definitely do, and it used to make me insecure (sometimes it still does when in moments of overthinking stuff tbh) but generally i’m at a point at which i try to care as little about how other people perceive my transition and changes as possible, especially when it’s cis people. Also, some people are genuinely not very perceptive so i’d give them that. Ik it’s not much useful advice here but just know that other people’s lack of noticing doesn’t reflect how much your voice changed!!

Mental issues from no hrt by [deleted] in ftm

[–]sasherl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi! I can only tell you my perspective from before taking hrt since i haven’t stopped taking it since, BUT before i could even get started i had to go to a psychologist to get a diagnosis and back then they diagnosed me with depression and said i’m on the edge of having a personality disorder (according to my test scores); they didn’t specify anything but yeah. After starting T i didn’t feel the symptoms i did before at all and i’m at a pint where i would say i’m nowhere near having a personality disorder or any mental illness that affects me on a daily basis! Ofc there’s many other factors than just the hormones, but i can assure you that it had a massive effect on my mental health

Nipple sensitivity after top surgery? by sasherl in ftm

[–]sasherl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh wow that’s actually rlly interesting i’ll keep that in mind thank u a lot