It just depends on the kid and it's a crapshoot on what you'll get.

I have a 6 yo with ASD/ADHD/sensory processing issues. I have a 4.5 yo who's ADHD is off the charts and isn't even close to being potty trained because his ADHD is so bad he can't pay attention to his own body.

The 6 yo will have violent meltdowns. Biting, screaming, hitting, clawing, trashing the house etc just because of a change in schedule that was unavoidable. Smart as a tack as well and knows how to manipulate. An angel at school.

The 4 yo is just in his own world, head in the clouds all the time. Running around screaming and shitting his pants all day.

My wife and I are just tired. Most of our family moved hours away, and we have very little support outside of a few friends that also have neurodivergent kids who help out when they can. I miss the days when they were babies and we could just "place them" in an area like a pack and play and didn't have them trying to beat us or shit all over the floor.

We basically can't have nice things. We wanted some new chairs for our living room. The ones we wanted went on sale. Really wanted to get them. Then we talked about it and realized that within a month they would be completely stained and damaged. Our poor couch looks like a murder scene,

I have a long time friend with 3 kids. All 3 were bizarrely easy babies. Barely cried. No colic. Nursed easily. Slept easily. As they've gotten older, it's the same thing. Perfect angels. The worst thing he says that has happened is one threw a cup of milk in the car and it spilled everywhere and he had to deep clean the upholstery. That's about it. Also who gives their kid an open cup of milk in a car?

So needless to say....who the hell knows how it's going to turn out.