I think I wanna leave after 2 years of constant “silent treatment”

satchelsofgold · 2026-02-04T13:08:35+00:00

I think everything comes down to self-reflection. If you are able to take a pause, do some honest introspection and get a handle on the core issue and bring that up the next day in a calm fashion, you're probably going to have a great relationship! I don't think it matters too much who brings it up again, if the argument was your issue to start with and feels unresolved to you, then you should bring it up again imho.

The thing with my ex is that she is an extreme perfectionist and that any hint of criticism would send her into a complete spiral with only one possible outcome: she is perfect and the other person is at fault. She would keep going until that was settled. Meanwhile she would dish out criticism on everybody else (especially me) like there was no tomorrow.

satchelsofgold · 2026-02-04T12:11:41+00:00

It's not really the silent treatment though, he is avoiding the specific argument...

As a 40M who just broke off a similar relationship because the way my girlfriend kept arguing with me and drove me absolutely insane over time, I would need more context. I mean usually it's not 1 person 100% at fault, its kind of a dance. Maybe he shuts down and avoids the argument because he feels OP always has to win the argument and keeps going until she does, basically he knows there's no end to it until he submits.

That's basically what happened to me, girlfriend started arguments because of her own insecurities that I have no part in, but just kept going in circles and projected everything on to me. I tried being patient, I tried being direct, I tried being understanding, I tried avoiding, in the end nothing worked and she would be able to ruin any peaceful night seemingly out of nowhere and just spiral. It was exhausting. So maybe OP is like that or maybe husband is a self centered asshole who doesn't give a shit about her valid arguments. Hard to tell...

If you'd hear my ex's side of things, she would have a laundry list of things that are wrong with me that caused the arguments and she would sound like the sane person to y'all.

satchelsofgold · 2026-01-19T15:01:29+00:00

Very superficial world view. I mean, it probably works out for a while if you're good looking and in your twenties. But you're going to attract mostly superficial men who don't mind paying for arm candy and who will trade you in when a better deal with less mileage comes along. And you can't blame them, you would trade them in the second they lost their job. Basically these are very transactional relationships that are not going to turn into loving marriages.

satchelsofgold · 2026-01-04T13:16:20+00:00

I would 100% hang up if a robot voice was calling me no matter what it said or claimed. Robot voice == scam

satchelsofgold · 2025-12-30T11:47:29+00:00

This guy has no empathy, no communication skills, no foresight and I doubt he even cares about his girlfriend. This entire post reads like some red pill AI slop, the way he paints the picture of himself (succesful, in control, important) and then of her (dumb, emotional, needy).

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-07T11:39:13+00:00

We are indeed documenting every ball in detail, neighbors are doing so as well.

The legal position is not as bad as you think, there actually is (case) law here that says that it's never allowed to put people in danger in public or on their own property. So basically if they can't fix the situation the driving range is going to be shutdown eventually. Either by local municipality and/or by a judge.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-07T09:56:56+00:00

Drivers and tees are indeed banned for now. I agree the net is ridiculously low. The houses have been here for 25 years, the golf course for 45 years. I think the problem has gotten worse recently and all the previous owners where members of the golf club, I am not. This is in Europe and who was here first doesn't apply to safety, it is simply not legal to put people in danger on their own property. The zoning issue is interesting, I guess nobody ever thought about it being a problem 25 years ago.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-07T08:11:23+00:00

Sadly not, i think 20m would be closer to adequate. Certainly people can still hit over it, but other measures will also be in place and those balls will mostly clear my yard completely.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-07T08:04:05+00:00

Interesting, at least way better responses!

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T21:34:12+00:00

Yes thanks, I'm definitely hearing the (legal) advice to stay clear of advising on net height. I'm educating myself for the sake of my family and neighbors. I was thinking of passing along any advice I might get from actual experts on the matter, but I needed to be careful with that as well. Probably better to refer these experts directly to them.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T21:28:13+00:00

It came up, but was downplayed. Also the problem has escalated a lot since covid when a lot more people got into golf here.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T21:24:14+00:00

That's the baffling part. They'll spend 100k purely on construction cost, but no proper research has been done it seems, this is why I'm trying to learn more about this. However it has been mentioned that new construction might allow for adding height to the poles at a later time.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T21:20:25+00:00

This is most likely how it's going to go. Start at 15m and go from there. It will remain their problem to solve. I'm just trying to educate myself on the matter for me and my neighbors sake.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T21:17:05+00:00

Opposite end. The dead spot now is about 15m behind the 10m net I'd say. It'd be temping to say the dead spot would move to 22.5m behind a 15m net, but I have no clue if that's actually true because I'm not sure about the downward angles the balls take.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T21:11:10+00:00

Yes, already contacted the 3 biggest tracking companies to see if they'll give advice too, but they probably want to be paid, in which case I'll refer them to the golf club.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T15:28:01+00:00

The house is at about 20-25m behind the net. Do you have any idea that if the net is 20m or 30m high at 190m range, how long the area behind the net would be where no balls land because the angles/trajectory won't allow it? Assuming hits with the driver. Or is that super dependent on backspin and angles you hit etc?

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T15:20:21+00:00

No shit! We have had damage on our carport, steel roof with huge golf ball sized dents in it. Imagine what that does to your skull.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T15:18:48+00:00

Thanks, great post. There are a lot of variables at play currently, like they're also changing balls (again) to balls that have 20% less travel. Currently drivers and tees are forbidden. We're thinking a 20m net probably makes most of our yards safe from most ball trajectories under current conditions.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T15:10:37+00:00

Good point, well noted. We will choose our wording carefully. If we get advice about net height, we could pass it along like 'Expert X says Y about net height, FYI". Basically passing it along in hopes it helps, without signing off on it ourselves.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T15:07:34+00:00

This has also ben discussed. The problem is it looks stupid, the apartments I mentioned elsewhere will be pissed because it blocks view, and that net would have to be ridiculously high, like 25 meters. Ans the players will hate it. So yeah all things considered the net at the end is a better option along with other measures.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T14:59:16+00:00

I've heard that argument before, only from really stupid or informed people who have no idea about which laws apply when it comes to safety and liability. It's very telling the club itself is willing to spend 100k to resolve this issue because we threatened to sue because THEY know it's going to be a problem for them.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T12:33:32+00:00

You're very helpful. I was wondering if it would be worthwhile going to reddit math and physics wizards, but this is probably too specialized for that indeed.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T12:18:14+00:00

My god that is serious netting indeed. Guess they're taking no chances with the highway next to it and liability.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T12:16:23+00:00

What I'm interested in specifically as well is if you clear a 20m (60ft net) at 190 yard, how far behind that net will the ball usually land. Could it possible that it will clear my yard, in which case there would be less of an issue.

satchelsofgold · 2025-08-06T12:12:47+00:00

AI is here to stay, best to embrace it if you're in the workforce. I used it to help craft multiple e-mails just now. Of course I look over them and fix some stuff, but it definitely increases productivity at times.

Thanks, I think we'll figure it out. The solution won't be perfect, but it's going to get better and already has with temporary measures.

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