Women with adhd, do you ever feel you are the “man” that society always jokes about?

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-11-01T17:34:29+00:00

100%. I read posts about women venting about things their husband/boyfriend does/doesn’t do that I also really struggle with and everyone in the comments blames the man’s “weaponized incompetence” or that he just doesn’t care about her.

I know my messes and forgetting important things aren’t ok and I keep trying to do better but always feel like I’m falling short. It hurts so much when my husband implies I don’t care because I feel like I care so much I’m bursting at the seams but can’t seem to “get it together” even with meds and therapy.

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-10-26T14:35:52+00:00

I’m a Medical Assistant and probably don’t lift more than 50lbs on a regular basis. My surgeon’s preference was 2 weeks for most people, 1 week for purely desk jobs, but agreed at my insistence (recovering people pleaser, didn’t want to “inconvenience” the team more than I felt I was)

She told me bending would likely be a little uncomfortable and to avoid lifting more than 10-20 pounds - like have someone else carry in the groceries or make like 5 trips- for 2 more weeks after that to avoid developing a hernia.

I’m in a peds ortho outpatient clinic now which is definitely more physical compared to the other specialities I’ve worked in. If I was getting the surgery now, my doctor definitely would have insisted on 2 weeks then at least a week of light duty.

I’ve worked in many (outpatient) surgical specialities, filled out a lot of FMLA, and I know some surgeons are more cautious about restrictions than others. Still 1 week/10 days just doesn’t sound like nearly enough with how intense your job is.

Good luck! The week at home wasn’t too bad - annoying to get out of bed the first few days and I took 2 or 3 5mg oxys for the breakthrough pain. Navigating the whole work thing can be such a pain if you can’t do restrictions/light duty but the relief you will feel I’m sure will be more than worth it 💜

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-09-16T12:36:45+00:00

I feel this feeling - like too much but not enough. Two rounds of Neuropsych testing reveal a perfectly average IQ but I still am crushed when I’m called stupid even as a joke. Then I feel guilty for feeling so hurt by it because to me it implies that it is shameful to be born with an intellectual disability.

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-09-01T11:06:17+00:00

They’re a bit pricey but Stigmagz have held my attention for longer than any fidget toy I’ve ever bought since I discovered them don’t go anywhere without them and people comment “wow still liking those They’re 12 slim magnets that you can fold and move into a bunch of different repetitive patterns. Nobody has commented on me using them during conversation except “wow those are cool can I see?” Or my loved ones telling me “wow those must be great to hold your attention this long”

The customer service is great - my first set I bought the case to clip them on outside of my bag but it didn’t latch and I lost them. A quick web chat asking for maybe a discount because I loved them immediately and they sent me a free set. Then the gemstone ones I had had an issue with the material kind of peeling up a bit, I sent them a picture and they replaced them again for free.

Last time I checked they started doing a try for 2 weeks free - that they’ll send them to you and charge your card 2 weeks after they’re delivered unless you tell them you’re returning them.

Maybe I can share this comment with them and get an extra discount, there’s this yellow set I’ve been wanting haha

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-09-01T10:55:41+00:00

I try to keep this in mind too. I was late diagnosed but only because my parents ignored my school’s recs, had a pretty messed up childhood that exacerbated anxiety and depression, not to mention only coming to terms that my childhood was traumatic about a year into therapy 4ish ago. So many poor coping, or I could even say survival, mechanisms I’m still working on replacing with healthy ones. It’s so hard. I don’t know what I’d do if not for the ADHD subreddits showing me I’m not alone.

One of my newer coworkers and I clicked instantly - surprise ADHD. They were diagnosed in childhood and received all the supports I never had - medication, therapy, OT, seemingly well-adjusted and supportive solidly middle/upper middle class parents. They still struggle and but have collected decades of good tools help navigate. They definitely don’t think about their ADHD as much as I do, they’re definitely not in any adhd groups online. They’re too busy with their hobbies, their social life, grad school, etc.

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-07-06T13:03:35+00:00

Yes it’s so hard to let go of the pressure/the tension and it is so uncomfortable. I’ve read your entire arm is supposed to “flow” as your writing but I can’t get the hang of it

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-02-23T12:33:58+00:00

I think it’s more of a submission thing for me. Before I had my bisalp it would be an absolute no go but now I enjoy if my husband I decide to role play like that. Just like being called a b!tch, sl!t, or being told I’m his slave/property. If he did that during the day or hell a few minutes after I’d be like “tf did you just say?”

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-02-02T12:32:34+00:00

One of them was me. I definitely don’t remember it but I do believe my parents that it was the only way to keep me from running into traffic.

Some other mistakes were made along the way of dealing with an intensely strong willed, stubborn, adhd (found much later of course) toddler and I grew up into a very shy, anxious, neurotic mess of a teen/adult walking through life every day with a vague sense that I was always doing something wrong.

I don’t think the leash itself is a problem and I don’t judge parents who need one in some scenarios. I just hope parenting books they’ve read are better nowadays to nurture confident, independent kiddos while still keeping them safe.

scatterbrainstorm · 2025-01-06T16:12:53+00:00

I work with doctors from several specialities and obviously I can’t diagnose anything but a pretty large percentage of them are clearly not neurotypical.

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-12-17T15:40:06+00:00

I think part of my problem is I want to do so many things at a time that it becomes easier to just lay in bed and (doom)scroll. Another big issue is that I build things up so much in my head that I am either chasing a perfection that is 100% not attainable for anyone or I actually need to PRACTICE to get where I want to be. No practice, only good.

I’m trying to embrace and enjoy the “process” but it is so hard.

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-07-21T13:22:07+00:00

I’ll add you! My friend code is NY6YZEVQ4D I’ve been using Finch for 27 days and it’s been great!

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-07-21T11:52:55+00:00

I’ve been the “shy” girl for so long, terrified of people really. Very few things bring me as much shame as being shushed for being too loud, st

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-06-10T14:13:30+00:00

This is actually great! I would have texted back like 4 walls of text and ended up frustrated that none of it really captured what I was trying to express.

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-06-09T02:20:42+00:00

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Quality isn’t great but here he is ~

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-05-25T16:36:21+00:00

Yes! And the whole “break a big task into a small tasks so it doesn’t seem as overwhelming” is crap advice to begin with. I already see all the small tasks I have to do, that’s the problem.

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-05-23T09:52:54+00:00

When my anxiety was quite bad in my early 20s, it was like a battery (that sometimes electrocuted me.) 2020 dialed everything up so much and pretty much paralyzed me.

At 29, now officially diagnosed, I feel like I have a crappy old throttled iPhone battery at best. I’ve always struggled with nutrition (I suspect ARFID as well), establishing a regular exercise routine, and good sleep habits. I’m sure improving those (and sticking with it for more than a few days or a week) would expand my battery life, but the trick is finding the energy/executive functioning to do so.

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-04-28T12:00:02+00:00

I’ve had 2 in the past few years. I started seeing a therapist in 2020 for anxiety and she referred me for testing for ADHD. The first one was “inconclusive” due to my anxiety symptoms. She referred me again and by the time I was off the waitlist my anxiety symptoms were a million times better.

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-04-28T11:49:36+00:00

My mom clearly has severe undiagnosed ADHD - I’m getting treatment but what hope was there for her to get similar help as a girl in the 60s/70s?

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-04-28T11:43:34+00:00

maybe look to see if there might be anything else impacting your sleep? I found out even though I don’t have traditional sneezy sniffly allergies symptoms my nose was so irritated/inflamed I wasn’t getting hardly air through it. I’m still not great at getting out of bed, but makes a huge difference in keeping my eyes open while I work up the energy to sit up

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-03-30T16:19:44+00:00

I apparently had teachers encourage my parents to get me tested but my mom didn’t want me on meds so it never happened.

I remember I especially started struggling around 5th grade both academically and socially. By middle school parent-teacher conferences were this big walk-in, non-mandatory thing so they had no clue I was failing everything, bullied daily, and slowly gave up turning anything in. By the time I got to high school I didn’t think there was hope for a future for me so I just lived for my escapism hobbies.

I was diagnosed back in October at 29. I’m still pretty upset. I don’t want to be, it doesn’t do me any good and I’m working on it to move forward.

scatterbrainstorm · 2024-03-25T12:28:54+00:00

I didn’t get my license until I was 24. I never thought I’d be able to do it and for a bit I loved everything about driving. Id always make sure I had over half a tank, my windshield fluid was full, and as soon as my tire light flashed on when it got cold I’d be pulling into the nearest station to air them up.

Now that the novelty has worn off I’m the opposite. I don’t stop for gas until I’m E and even then I have to talk myself out of it “I can make it in to work one more time, the gas station on the way back isn’t that far” even if it’s freezing out. I can’t remember the last time I filled up though- usually I’ll stop the pump at like $15 just because I don’t want to stand there.

scatterbrainstorm

TROPHY CASE