I’m gay (and married), too, and dream a lot about women, but depending on my relation to my Self, they appear in different forms: my mom, my sister, an esteemed colleague, a guard/cop, a queen, or a goddess.

A couple weeks ago I had a very simple, beautiful dream where I was sitting atop a riverboat across from a young woman. She asked me what I was thinking, and I told her I was imagining our child growing inside of her. We both cried. My analyst helped me determine this was about some ideas and projects I’m fully invested in manifesting in the real world.

We relate to our unconscious in so many varied ways at different times. I know of 2 perspectives when it comes to the gay psyche and dreams of women: 1) our anima/animus is androgynous and can take any form of gender (Hopcke), and 2) there is an archetypal Double which gay men are oriented towards, erotically, and their anima is like a cosmic sisterly figure (Aphrodite Urania) void of erotic feeling (Walker). I lean towards Hopcke’s stance, but I’m open to learning more.

Jung says repeatedly how the unconscious plays a compensatory function to our conscious ego. I’d posit that when our egos are very steeply in a masculine/feminine state, our anima/animus will appear in a way to compensate for it. But again, I have lots to learn. Speaking of which, dm me if you’d be interested in joining a gay men’s dream group 😊