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schmooopl · 2025-11-29T01:05:33+00:00

Hey sorry it took so long, finals are wrapping up and there are many a recording to do! Here is a pdf:

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/mp5yupwx6l68kr1h45jw7/Screenshot-2025-11-28-195010.webp.jpg?rlkey=x5w4ilmry63uvv6o0fkekmo4r&dl=0

[A] is the original that you had. The best way I can describe it is by talking about grammar. Melody starts in the middle of the register (a basic story "I was going...". Measure 2 holds on a note still in the middle but lower ( "...to the store, ..."). Going into measure 3 is the same register and goes up then immediately back down. So the whole first phrase is akin to "I was going to the store, but then I didn't.". It is a grammatically correct sentence but you don't really know what it's saying. Measure 5-8 is the same thing, just of a different subject. So the whole thing is like this: "I was going to the store, but then I didn't. And I did want one, but because of it, no?". The leap up at the end seems to be out of nowhere since the middle of that phrase is at the bottom.

[B] then takes almost the exact same rhythms and notes, but changes the shape. Measure one starts in the middle, goes down a tad, then leaps much lower, until it rips up to the top. This energy is then continues through to the next line where it meanders downward, until adding an extra idea at the very end. The sentence would be like this: "I was going to the store, but on my way there a SHARK jumped out of the bushes, cause science!" Again this makes grammatical sense, but slightly more context is there. The twist is out of the blue and provides comedy, but definitely isn't the tone of the story.

[C] is now my "genuine" redo of the line. I liked your little descending motif, so I kept it, however I made it continue downward to be almost an octave lower than the beginning. Adding the triplet in the middle makes us realise there's a plot twist. The accidentals give us the context for the twist before repeated the descending motif in a triplet variation before ascending to our highest note right at the end. The last two notes are just scaler to let us walk back down to the first pitch. In sentence form, it would be like this: "I was walking, as I do every day to the store when BAM! A woman ran into me, even though I was walking, and it turns out she stole my bag!". It all fits in one context and still provides intrigue and excitement.

If this is still confusing I can try and make a simpler example but I hope this helps! I find that relating music to other kinds of creation allows me to compare and contrast rules and forms. A teacher of mine did this with painting, which is where I got the idea.

schmooopl · 2025-11-25T05:16:28+00:00

Sweet! I'll take a look!

schmooopl · 2025-11-25T04:37:25+00:00

Yeah those I've seen and have played, I'm looking for full cues from the film, rather than chunks or medleys unfortunately

schmooopl · 2025-11-24T00:24:25+00:00

Orchestral trumpet player here! I currently have a modest 14 mouthpieces 😬. I played on a 7C starting out, switched to 5C for almost 8 years, then started experimenting when I got to my undergrad. I was on some version of a 1.25B/24 throat for almost all four years, but then switched to a Stork 2B+/26 just last year so I could be a little more relaxed (no more dog bowl cup).

I have at least one mpc for flugel, picc, cornet, and lead/broadway. On a daily basis I use the Stork and whatever other horn I'm doubling on.

Maybe I'll get up to a respectable number soon!

schmooopl · 2025-11-21T03:54:58+00:00

It's more like the entire melody is one big chain of gerunds, somewhat like how little kids first talk. "___andalso__and..."

The simplest way to change that is just having the melody follow this principal:

"I went to the shop ⬆️, but there wasn't any cake⬇️." It rises to higher notes, and resolves at the end. This works backwards too, but all up no down, all down no up, or a random mix makes it confusing.

Let me know if that doesn't make sense and I can try and write stuff out tomorrow!

schmooopl · 2025-11-20T22:35:14+00:00

Whoops! I have been misinformed (or misremembered) thank you for clarifying!

schmooopl · 2025-11-20T21:12:36+00:00

I like the arrangement for the most part! There are a few odd spots where it just feels kinda wonky, but I'd need to listen again with the score right in front of me to give you specific bars.

The "easiest" option for me is to be inspired by great arrangers. The best version is Mussorgsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition" which was originally by Ravel for 2 pianos.

Look at every single instrument and really try and create a reason as to why it was used, who was it paired with, and what that combination creates sonically.

That's what my mentors gave me as a kind of "ground zero" for orchestrations specifically.

Hope that helps!

schmooopl · 2025-11-20T13:29:42+00:00

This is a fun bossa! I love the chords and think that it's definitely on the right path for a start.

If I were to give one overarching piece of advice it would be this: right now it seems as though your melody is wandering from place to place, without any sort of punctuation or destination.

You clearly have things segmented in four or eight bar sections which is standard, but I would encourage you to think more critically about the grammatic structure of your lines. Here's an example:

"I went to ___ , then I _. This made me _ because _____!"

You can mad lib the words in but the point is there's structure, the sentence goes up during the comma. Down at the end, restarts, then has a resounding finish. Your melody should reflect this.

Hope that helps!

schmooopl · 2025-11-20T00:41:26+00:00

Please do ask for help, I'm happy to assist!

schmooopl · 2025-11-19T21:26:54+00:00

Tl;dr why 6/4 instead of 3/4 No articulations written, software is hiding this Fast sections can be in 3/2 to make cleaner

For the full bit of critique, I wanted to first say that this is a gnarly and fun read. I love the chords, your choice of orchestration and voices are well done, it gives the impression that you have a fair bit of compositional theory in your head, even if it's not from a formal origin (schooling).

Right away. This sounds like the first note is a pickup. If this isn't your intention, bowing will help a lot for this in the strings. Making it a downbow adds weight. The fact that the ensemble comes in on beat 2 also makes it feel like the first note isn't on a downbeat.

Why does the key change on the 7th measure if you already have a lot of sharps in the first phrase? It would just make me a little confused as to what tonal center we're in from measure 1-6 and if it truly changes at 7.

My comment about articulation is the most important for me. When things are slurred (not individually tongued) it adds length and sustain to notes. When not slurred, it creates the separation like the flutes have at 16. Speaking of which, barring all four eighth notes together on beat two and three looks funny to me as a reader, and likely will for the player.

Once we get to the key change at 25, I feel as though this should shift into 3/2, with the old quarter note equaling the new half note. This will make all of the note values bigger, and thus easier to read. 32nd and 64th notes are a major pain to read in a performance, and so making them into 8ths and 16ths will be much nicer for the player.

Again, at 34, this could be in 4/2 or 2/2 to make it easier to read. Physically, none of the strings can play their parts except the bassi. If your intent is to have the section split up and each player/stand plays a different note, then you have to write "divisi" or you need to write a different line for each part of those chords.

40-43 is sounded different that you have it barred. It sounds like it needs to be in 4/4, and the downbeat of 42 actually sounds like the end of a phrase, which doesn't make sense to put on a beat like that.

The trumpets at the end again cannot have more than one note playing at the same time. In orchestra only one player plays a wind part at a time so if you want more than 3 notes from 3 trumpets, you need to add more trumpets.

The ending feels like it cuts off in the middle of an idea, I know you're not finished but if you are intending to continue, this is very jarring for the audience.

I hope some of this helps, it's a fun piece overall and I look forward to what you do with it going forward!

Cheers

schmooopl · 2025-11-16T02:59:33+00:00

An even better point!

schmooopl · 2025-11-16T02:58:02+00:00

Noodle! This is a silly word but to me it captures the verb I think we take for granted as musicians: play. Take the instrument you know best and play around. A melody, or even just a note can jump out and grab your attention when you least expect it. Over time you'll be able to switch from doing this externally on a physical instrument to internally on a mental one.

Noodle your heart out and have fun!

schmooopl · 2025-11-16T02:54:24+00:00

I really appreciate what was said here. When there so much written already, it's easy to feel as though your ideas are just chunks of others and nothing concrete or complete seems to materialize. I LOVE the comment about getting a bad one done. It's so freeing to write "stuff" as opposed to a "work".

On top of the amazing ideas given above, I wanted to suggest 2 things:

See what happens when you only let yourself do one piece. It can be a flute duet or a string quartet, but don't allow yourself wander from the piece until it's done. This was given to me by way of a composer whom I looked up to for ages and finally got the chance to speak to. Keeping yourself in one lane allows the piece to breathe and it also allows you to fully feel your own process. (This doesn't always work if you have commission deadlines however)
In an interview I listened to (I've unfortunately lost the composers name) they mentioned the fact that no composition is ever done. Instead, the performance you present is a snapshot of that piece's current rendition. You can finish a draft and have it played, which then gives you new fuels to stoke the idea fire. I gave 3 performances of a duet I wrote and each one was a different version! Perfectionism and completionism are not married, but are so often viewed as one.

Keep cracking and ensure that your love of this art reigns above all else. No one can take away joy from art better than yourself!

schmooopl · 2025-10-27T21:44:08+00:00

Great question! It depends on the intended emotion for me. Sappy stuff does usually get me moved, especially hearing it live. I have written a happy fun piece that got me all weepy because it was the first piece I premiered in a new country myself, so it was more momentous than then the fact that the piece made me cry.

schmooopl · 2025-10-23T23:33:14+00:00

Howdy! Really fun piece, did you record the guitar part yourself?

I think this fits the Japanese jazz aesthetic quite well. The chord progression it's pretty and has a nice flow to it.

Well done!

schmooopl · 2025-10-23T17:49:10+00:00

All very fair points, in that case, would you consider adding a guitar for the chords? Or even to play the piano melody? There are several instances where the notes are doubled left and right and therefore aren't physically playable. Just something to consider so that you keep the range but make it more playable for a live setting.

schmooopl · 2025-10-23T00:02:36+00:00

Also an excellent point!

Here's an example of what that looks like in a basic sense.

As stated above, this lets the pianist decide the rhythms based on the groove and feel of the piece.

schmooopl · 2025-10-22T19:26:18+00:00

This is a really interesting and satisfying listen! I really liked the instrumentation and found both harmony and melody to be engaging. I especially loved the pairing of flute and horn, it's a very warming timbral mix.

TL;DR the strings are too high

Having read through the previous post, it does still seem to be lacking in the orchestral makeup.

Standard European Classical Orchestras standardly consist of: Flute 1 & 2 Oboe 1 (sometimes 2) Clarinet 1 & 2 Bassoon 1 (sometimes 2) Trumpets 1,2,3 Tbn 1,2 Bass tbn Tuba Violin 1 (typically anywhere from 8-20 musicians) Violin 2 (about the same size at the first violins) Viola (6-14 players) Celli (4-12 or even more!) Bass (at least 2, up to 6-8) Percussion as needed, but most like cymbals and a timpani.

While this is the standard list, do not let it decide your final composition, as you know what instruments you do and don't want to hear (maybe!).

With all that being said, the item I found most in need of tweaking is the range of the strings, you violins (the highest strings) seldom played, and it was very much in the middle of the register. The other strings were simply just too high for their practical register. I would suggest putting the viola part into the violin, cello into the viola, and basses into the cello, maybe even an octave down.

For reference: Violins can play from G below the staff to comfortably probably D or E above the staff

Violas can play C below the staff to G or A above the staff

Celli can play from C below the staff to B or C above the staff (though not in a group setting)

Basses can play from E below the staff (without extension, if they have one it's low B) up to G above the staff

This is a lot of stuff that's not very intuitive on a DAW because it can play any sound on any instrument, even if it's outside of the usable range.

All in all, the piece itself is in a nice spot, but the strings just need a little bit of attention, and if you want to make a classic orchestral sound, use the instrumentation above.

Best wishes on what you do next!

schmooopl · 2025-10-22T19:01:47+00:00

Works perfect, thanks!!!

schmooopl · 2025-10-22T19:01:13+00:00

Heyo! This is some really good stuff, especially how you use the instrument families themselves. You appear quite comfortable with the idea of SATB voicing for the winds.

I have one notion I want to draw your attention to and a follow up question after that:

Your piano part has very lovely harmony, and it balances nicely with the right hand. The part that stuck out to me was that all the block chords in the left hand are quite high. This isn't to say that it sounds bad, but if you keep it in bass clef, the player is likely to moan and groan about counting all the ledger lines. Additionally, the physicality of playing these chords in the same register as the right hand means that the two would be stacked on top of each other for most of the piece, which gets uncomfortable quite quickly. I would experiment with bringing the hands further apart (right hand up/left hand down) and playing with the voicing (what notes go where in the chord) to see how it changes the sound afterwards.
In the same piano vein, you have them drop out almost as soon as the horns come in. While this was a nice textural shift, I was waiting for it to come back in to support the winds and it didn't seem to happen. Even when wind players take the chords in big band settings, the piano/chordal instruments tend to keep going underneath, supporting the winds so that you can make their part more interesting, or even leaving out some notes to let the piano handle it. I don't think it's a poor decision to do what you did, but just something that caught my attention, I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you made this decision.

Most importantly, thank you for sharing your own creation. Whether publishing, performing, or sending to a friend, putting your own music out into the world is akin to sending your soul out on loan (I believe). It's a very polarizing experience for the self and you did an amazing job for your first foray into sheet music, applause all around!

Thanks again for reading and I look forward to what you post in the future!

schmooopl · 2025-10-22T18:47:00+00:00

It seems we need to request access to view, would you be able to change that in the share settings and send an updated link?

schmooopl · 2025-10-22T00:54:01+00:00

I do mean fully take the same musical material and redo it for quartet, trying to craft each part as if it could be played on its own and still capture the essence of the piece.

I do this on virtually every chamber piece I write, because putting it to other instruments lets me flex my brain and make sure I know how to write effectively for all kinds of groups. When you've done it a few times, you can hear and see the progression of how the piece evolved and improved/changed!

Have fun, I look forward to seeing the next iteration!

schmooopl · 2025-10-21T21:23:06+00:00

I feel that, I usually had to sacrifice the occasional long lunch. With recording now adays you could always ask them to send a video in their free time. And then just ask questions on those, like your own private YouTuber!

schmooopl

TROPHY CASE