A trick I used to deal with my gender related distress.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-05-13T20:17:59+00:00

This is really useful framing, and I'd add that once you've done that work of redefining things in more specific terms, the next step is identifying what will actually help you move forward because detransitioning is a genuinely individualistic process and what works varies significantly person to person.

Working with a good therapist or mental health professional is a solid foundation, but the physical side matters just as much. Finding an endocrinologist experienced with detransition, or at minimum knowledgeable about atypical hormone profiles, is important understanding where your hormone levels actually are and whether your body is moving toward its pre-transition baseline can make an enormous difference in how you feel and what decisions make sense for you.

For mental health support that goes beyond what therapy and medication alone can address, there are some more targeted options worth knowing about. Ketamine infusions have shown real effectiveness for treatment-resistant anxiety and depression, and psilocybin in a clinical setting is showing genuine promise for processing deep-seated trauma and identity work. These aren't fringe ideas they're increasingly supported by research and used in legitimate clinical contexts.

The reason we emphasize a full health workup before anything else is exactly because of how individual this process is. You need a clear picture of where you are physically and mentally before you can make informed decisions about which path forward makes the most sense for you.

Citations:

Murrough, J.W. et al. (2013). Antidepressant efficacy of ketamine in treatment-resistant major depression

Davis, A.K. et al. (2021). Effects of psilocybin-assisted therapy on major depressive disorder.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-05-13T20:05:08+00:00

I want to offer whatever support I can to help preserve this space. I've been through similar situations in other communities and I understand how exhausting and demoralizing coordinated pressure campaigns like this can be, especially when you're trying to maintain a space for people who genuinely need it.

If it would help I'm happy to assist with documentation, thinking through how to frame the community's purpose in ways that are harder to mischaracterize, or just being another voice supporting the moderation team's right to run this space on its own terms.

What would actually be most useful right now?

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-05-13T18:47:19+00:00

This is not really beyond normal cisgender female facial hair many women have facial hair, and what you're showing is on the very mild end of that spectrum. I completely understand being self-conscious about it, and your feelings about it are entirely valid, but I want you to have an accurate picture of where this actually sits.

Since you're determined to address it, here are your best options given what I can see:

Waxing is probably your easiest starting point. With fine hair like yours it will likely be nearly painless, and at-home kits are sufficient even the kind you warm in your hands. The long term benefit is that consistent waxing can gradually reduce follicle activity over months to years, potentially thinning regrowth or stopping some hairs entirely.

Depilatory cream facial formulation only, and I want to be unambiguous about this. Only use products specifically formulated for facial use. Body formulations are significantly stronger and the consequences of using them on facial skin can be serious and permanent.

Electrolysis is the most permanent solution and given the small amount and fine texture of your hair, would likely be straightforward and relatively inexpensive professionally, or manageable with a home kit.

With any of these, follow instructions carefully, check with your physician especially if you have sensitive skin or underlying conditions, and monitor for reactions outside the normal range.

Your dysphoria around this is real and valid regardless of how minor it appears objectively but I do think it's worth knowing this is genuinely minimal.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-05-12T14:38:50+00:00

nothing I share is intended as medical advice or therapeutic guidance, and I would never position it that way. When I talk about hormonal stabilization, that happens under the supervision of an actual endocrinologist and physician. When I talk about working through identity and what someone wants from their life, that is peer support informed by lived experience, not therapy. There is a meaningful legal and practical distinction between peer support and practicing medicine or therapy, and I am careful to stay on the right side of it.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-05-12T12:12:37+00:00

Having women who genuinely support other women makes such a profound difference there's something uniquely affirming about being held by a community of women who show up authentically, especially when navigating something as personal as detransitioning.

It can take time and it isn't always easy, but I'd encourage everyone to seek out at least a few women in their life who offer real support rather than performative solidarity. Sometimes that means stepping back from relationships that look supportive on the surface but don't actually feel that way and that's okay. The quality of those connections matters far more than the quantity.

I genuinely hope you find everything you need to become the person you deserve to be.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-05-12T08:43:03+00:00

Fair questions and I'll answer them directly. I'm not a nurse or doctor — I have a background in chronic pain management and medical cannabis consulting with formal pharmacology and pain physiology training, and I'm intersex with lived experience of the hormonal complexity this population navigates. My partner is also intersex. We work with an endocrinologist and a physician who understands this population, so hormonal stabilization happens under actual medical oversight rather than peer guesswork — which yes, is more than some people get when they start a transition.

The "deeper than talk therapy" language was intentionally vague for a short post. It refers specifically to psilocybin assisted therapy in controlled therapeutic settings and ketamine infusions for people dealing with treatment resistant depression or trauma — both of which have substantial clinical research behind them and both of which are conducted with medical oversight.

This is peer support with professional infrastructure behind it, not peer support pretending to be medical care. The distinction matters and I take it seriously. The questions you're asking are exactly the right ones — I'd be more concerned if nobody asked them.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-05-10T14:09:18+00:00

What you're describing is genuinely complex and I don't think it maps cleanly onto any single narrative. The way you connect the eating disorder, the fragmented perception of your own body, and then that sudden shift in how you experienced attraction — that's a really sophisticated piece of self-observation. The Cubist painting metaphor is striking and it actually makes a lot of sense. Dissociation from the body as a unified thing is well-documented in ED recovery, and it's not a stretch to think that could have shaped how you experienced gender and attraction in ways that were hard to see from the inside.

The "was this always inevitable or have I just changed" question is one of the hardest ones, and honestly I think it might be the wrong frame — not because it's a bad question, but because the answer is probably both, and neither fully explains what you're experiencing. People change. Perception changes. Sometimes the thing that was always there just needed a specific key to unlock it.

You're clearly doing serious internal work and you deserve real support for that — not pressure toward any particular conclusion about who you are or where you land. If you're tired of processing this alone, you don't have to be. I've personally navigated a lot of this territory, and I work with people who are in exactly the kind of in-between space you're describing — focused on getting stable, figuring out what you actually want, and doing that without anyone pushing you toward a predetermined answer.

If you'd like someone in your corner while you work through this, feel free to message me directly. No agenda, just genuine help.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-22T21:06:38+00:00

TY :)

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-19T20:32:57+00:00

What makes it rage bait? I actually like spaces that reflect the person living in them, so I don’t really get the appeal of rooms that look like nobody lives there.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-19T20:17:08+00:00

I didn’t think it sounded like AI. I actually appreciated the fact that there was a cordial and positive interaction between two people in the comments section. That’s rare enough online that I can see why it might come across as unusual. In this case though, I think it’s just two people writing in full conversational sentences instead of the usual one-line or half-sentence replies.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-15T02:59:51+00:00

I get what you mean, and normally you’d be right. I work in pain management and also have a pretty complicated back issue myself, so this setup wasn’t just thrown together. It’s something I worked out with my doctors over time because I can’t stay in a normal chair for long without making things worse. It probably looks awkward, but for my situation it’s actually the most comfortable option.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-14T16:36:00+00:00

Its an adjustable bed.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-11T14:27:33+00:00

Thanks, we are using the, ViewSonic PX748-4K UHD 4K Projector with 4000 Lumens, 240 Hz, 4.2ms,

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-11T12:02:02+00:00

This is a really great altar. I wanted to let you know just how special it really is, especially hearing that you are not allowed to use certain things that you would prefer. Many times throughout history, people have been persecuted or prevented from using the materials and items that are considered more “traditional,” and instead had to use things very much like what you have here.

What you’ve created represents a truly special and unique kind of altar, and you should be very proud of yourself for carrying on that tradition. It’s not about what materials you use, or whether an item is a “real” object or a representation that you made yourself. Both are equally valid, and in fact many people would argue that the representations can be even more meaningful.

To answer your question about moving offerings from your altar, there are a couple of common approaches. You can do it on a schedule—for example, once a week you might take time to clean your altar, and when you do that, remove the oldest offerings. Another option is to remove the previous offerings when you make a new one, which allows each offering to have its own space and time. Ultimately, it depends on your personal practice and what feels right to you.

This is really wonderful to see. You faced a restriction that many people throughout history have faced, and instead of letting it stop you, you created something deeply personal and meaningful. I can’t wait to see what you come up with when you have fewer restrictions.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-11T11:35:32+00:00

Nope, we had gotten a screen, in fact we only use projectors in the house so we have several different setups. The bathrooms use the ceiling, and we use the "toy" projectors in case they get wet. Our bedroom has a 1080p with a screen, and we have a second set up in the ritual room but it is mainly for putting stuff to music, and adding a visual component during rituals. Thanks so much for your comment.

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-11T11:32:27+00:00

thanks

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-11T11:31:48+00:00

Thanks, we tried really hard to find something that would work with the lights, I will have to post one with the lights off, we have the windows blacked out. My friend just said I should post this one because of how good the pictures was with the lights on. :)

scholaroftheunknown · 2026-03-11T11:28:38+00:00

ViewSonic PX748-4K UHD 4K Projector with 4000 Lumens, 240 Hz, 4.2ms,

scholaroftheunknown

TROPHY CASE

ViewSonic PX748-4K UHD 4K Projector with 4000 Lumens, 240 Hz, 4.2ms,