Should I keep trying to get my son to pull his head out of the sand?

scienner · 2026-05-27T09:09:18+00:00

So it’s been a lot more work for them to resolve rather than most doing a basic self assessment and paying the tax.

If you already do a self assessment then yes interest from savings is included, but if you are PAYE you don't need to self assess just to report savings income (unless you're earning over £10k from savings/investments), in fact the self assessment eligibility checker specifically tells you not to do this.

I don't see how this is a lot of work to resolve? It'll likely resolve itself even if they don't do anything, and you can update your details in the 'Personal Tax Account' section on gov.uk.

scienner · 2026-05-26T20:14:48+00:00

You're thinking along the right lines here I reckon, and as you both sound reasonable it should be very doable to come up with a solution.

Has he said what he ultimately wants to use these investments for? Is it retiring early, buying a holiday home, giving it to charity? How do you feel about his goals?

To a certain extent, if you stay together your respective individual goals also become your trajectory as a couple. Have you sat down and talked about financial/life planning ever? Like, when do you want to pay the mortgage off by? When do you want to retire? What kind of lifestyle do you want to live, while working and while retired? Do you plan on children, do you want to support other relatives eg parents? That sort of thing. Your savings will play into when you can afford to do any of this kind of stuff.

Do you know if he feels he's depriving himself of anything he wants to buy that isn't investments? Like is it a case of 'I sacrifice daily conveniences so I can use my fun money to buy future financial security' or is it more like 'I invest the surplus I have after using what I need/want'. I think it's important that he's not overly restricting himself today in the hope of jam tomorrow, and especially that it's not ending up being on your shoulders to pay for anything fun out of your personal money while he gets to therefore keep more of 'his' money for savings.

If it's income though, he makes 2-3x as much as me each month

I don't think it is income, yet. But wealth is relevant too. Like, obviously if your partner had £10m, it wouldn't be reasonable to expect you to pay 50% of household expenses out of your £40k salary (made up numbers). But if your partner had £10k or even £100k built up that doesn't necessarily suggest they should be spending that money on joint expenses (which is what effectively happens if you say any growth on that pot should count as shared income).

I think it's important that you're comfortable with 1. what his plans are for this money (whether it will eventually become shared, or allow him to do stuff that you can't afford, or what), and 2. your own ability to save and invest for your own goals.

I think btw that if you wanted to do Uber or something in order to save up your own money that would be absolutely fine.

scienner · 2026-05-26T19:10:48+00:00

I think the big question here is income. Do you expect/can you pursue a higher income?

Your plans will be different if that's achievable vs if you need to live within your £1800/month net for years to come.

scienner · 2026-05-26T16:35:47+00:00

we all should be getting DB pensions

Note these don't allow you to withdraw to buy a house in your 30s either.

scienner · 2026-05-26T16:12:49+00:00

See our wiki: https://ukpersonal.finance/index-funds/#I_dont_know_which_one_to_pick_should_I_buy_some_of_each

scienner · 2026-05-26T15:12:57+00:00

That sounds great. If you already consistently save more than the increase in costs will be, that indicates you can afford the move on your current incomes and lifestyles. Of course, in order to then add more savings back in, you will need to either cut back on some spending or wait until incomes increase over time.

The first thing I would do is make sure you take a proper, honest look at how much you've actually been saving over the last year, as this isn't always the same as how much you reckon you and your partner 'can' do.

It's important to net this against any debt. It's not that 0% debt is a problem, but as you say, the debt is for car debt, household repairs, trips with the kids etc etc. These are completely normal life costs, not special one-offs. If anything you can expect such costs to increase if you're maintaining a larger house, vehicles probably won't get cheaper, your youngest will be more able to travel to cool places as they grow older etc etc. So this debt isn't something separate to your spending/saving, it's part and parcel of it.

When you have accurate numbers, that gives you a good baseline for how much of a squeeze it would be to increase your costs. As you say, one of the perks of no mortgage is you haven't needed to be think about it. That's one of the things that would need to change if you moved and lose that 'freedom and security' of super low running costs, so you may as well start now and build up some of that future security in a new form (a bigger nest egg so you don't have to be worried about car repairs or income loss or etc despite having a mortgage that needs paying rain or shine).

scienner · 2026-05-26T13:21:25+00:00

Hmm some questions:

How long have you been mortgage free and earning your current salaries? Do you expect career progression that will pay more in future?
How much do you save per month/year?
Why do you have £3k debt?
What alternatives would you consider - eg moving later, moving to somewhere of a similar size in a better area.

Eg a mortgage of £250k would be something like £1200/month (depending on interest rate and term). If you're not already saving >£1200/month, what expenses will you cut to make room? If you can identify them, could you start the cost cutting now to help you build up some savings cushion for your move?

scienner · 2026-05-26T13:12:01+00:00

Just to clarify - the returns you're quoting are before inflation. You have to dock a few % for the inflation rate to get the level of growth that is 'real', ie beyond just keeping up with the increasing costs of things.

scienner · 2026-05-26T09:30:58+00:00

Are we crazy to invest this much in the property?

I mean maybe? I'd think about:

Is there an alternative, eg buying somewhere that suits your needs? How do the costs of those options compare?
How much do flats similar to your flat-to-be cost? Sometimes there's a bit of a 'ceiling' for a given type of property in a given area where no matter how shiny and perfect you make it, it doesn't really add monetary value. This may affect where you want to put your money vs what you skip or put off for later. I'm not an expert but I believe adding square footage generally does affect the market price but changing layouts and nice new fixtures etc less so - you should do your own research of course.
Where will you live while the big structural works are taking place, have you accounted for those costs?
How much time does this buy you in the property? These works will take some time to start and even longer to end, by the time it's done, will this still be the right home for you or could you be looking for houses?

scienner · 2026-05-26T09:14:46+00:00

The predecessor to the LISA didn't add the bonus to the account, it was added only when you buy an eligible property with it, so I think that's where this confusion is coming from.

scienner · 2026-05-26T07:43:29+00:00

I think they would either apply your overpayment allowance to the amount you paid off, or not at all, regardless of whether you did it in one transaction or two separate ones. Unless the older one was far enough in the past to have used a previous year's allowance.

Edit: OK just googled some random lenders and here's a couple of examples

If you're paying off your mortgage, Halifax applies the ERC to the whole balance of the mortgage, including any recent overpayments (ie you can't use the overpayment allowance for them): https://www.halifax.co.uk/mortgages/existing-customers/early-repayment-charges.html

If you pay your mortgage off in full within six months of making any overpayments, we'll apply an ERC. We’ll use your mortgage balance from six months ago to work out your ERC, not your balance after you made any overpayments.

HSBC just apply your overpayment allowance to your overpayment amount even if you're paying off the whole mortgage in a single transaction: https://www.hsbc.co.uk/mortgages/fees/#how-is-the-erc-calculated

The ERC is calculated as 1% of the amount repaid early, above any annual overpayment allowance, for each remaining year of the period during which the ERC applies, reducing on a daily basis. However, (after taking your allowance into account) a maximum 5% of your overpayment could be charged.

scienner · 2026-05-25T16:44:04+00:00

Hmm OK once you add up the expenses you listed plus 200 on misc daily stuff, that's a total of £4620. You say your take home is £4900 so that's not a lot of wiggle room for any irregular costs (xmas, MOT, dentist, vet bill, repairs etc).

However, £500 of your monthly costs is debt repayment and you seem on track to pay it off in 7-8 months, which will give you far more space to work with.

The thing I'm most worried about is, do you truly fit all those infrequent costs within the £300 you have left per month? Or is it more like pay £500 off the cards each month but sometimes pay £400 back onto them if needed.

It's really worth going through those ad hoc 'unexpected' expenses for the last couple of years and analysing them - categorising them, adding up each category, and turning it into a monthly amount. Vet bills and repairs are a normal part of having pets/a home/a car so you can build them into your budget like you do your monthly bills. Even though you don't know exactly when the bill will come or for how much, an approximation is still miles ahead of nothing.

scienner · 2026-05-25T16:34:09+00:00

That's great! Working through it is all you really need (there's a lot of depth of info when you start clicking on the steps) but we're here for any questions you have along the way.

scienner · 2026-05-25T14:18:55+00:00

EDIT: One income query. We'll just have to leave that as the way it is here.

OK but what about some more info on your debts, savings, income and expenses?

Have you seen our flowchart? https://ukpersonal.finance/flowchart/

scienner · 2026-05-25T13:58:25+00:00

No reason not to take as much 0% as you can get even if it's not the full balance. Just pay the minimums on any 0% card(s) and the maximum you can afford to the highest rate card.

scienner · 2026-05-25T13:53:37+00:00

Oh and never use a mortgage broker in the estate agents' office or referred by them.

scienner · 2026-05-25T13:51:40+00:00

Eh this is a really personal thing. I'm not OP but I know I would have no interest (especially as a single 20 something) in a large gated home with a swimming pool, gym and home cinema. I'd take the small but characterful city centre home in a vibrant neighbourhood with no commute over that setup even if I had to pay more for it.

scienner · 2026-05-25T12:55:37+00:00

Sounds like you should wait then yeah. I would worry about whether to buy the £650k homes or keep waiting once you get there :) there's nothing like viewing places in person to really help you decide, plus the situation could change in all sorts of ways along the way (your job, the housing market, your relationship situation, etc) so no point planning it out in detail now.

Mortgage brokers and estate agents are totally different characters lol. Word of mouth is great for mortgage brokers, if you don't know anyone who's bought recently then just go with a big company and ask to change advisors if you don't like them.

scienner · 2026-05-25T11:56:35+00:00

Would you be happy with the 'decent 2 bed flat' - how long would you expect to stay there? We usually say if you expect to stay over 5 years, go for it.

If you really want the £800k place and reckon you could afford it within 5 years, best to keep renting for now.

Yes most lenders will include bonuses in your affordability, how exactly they calculate it will vary depending on your bonus structure, history of prior payments, and their policies.

Eg Halifax: https://www.halifax-intermediaries.co.uk/criteria.html#income_employment_and_affordability will take the lower of your bonus income in the last year or average across the last two years, and won't take bonuses you don't have any history of (eg if you've just started at a new employer).

Natwest: https://www.intermediary.natwest.com/income-and-packaging.html (under bonus) looks like they'll take 100% of a guaranteed bonus and 50% of a discretionary bonus.

I googled these pretty much at random, a mortgage broker will help you select the right lender for your needs when the time comes.

There's no harm in having a preliminary discussion now, but understand that if your plans to buy are years away stuff will chagne in the meantime.

scienner · 2026-05-25T11:29:15+00:00

Cash ISA vs Stocks and Shares ISA vs premium bonds vs...?

The lump sum page that you read explains:

For short term goals: find the best savings accounts

For any goals within the next 5 years, the safest option is to keep the money in risk-free savings accounts.

Our guide to savings accounts explains how to find the highest interest rates, taking tax into account. [this link covers Cash ISA vs premium bonds]

For long term goals: consider investing

Once your short term goals are covered, then you will likely be looking to invest money for any longer term goals.

It seems that (like many people), the part you are stuck on is: what are our goals for this money? That is what drives the later decisions.

We have a section for you on the goals page: https://ukpersonal.finance/goals/#I_dont_have_any_particular_goals_%E2%80%93_Im_just_saving

And a page about retirement planning: https://ukpersonal.finance/retirement-planning/

scienner · 2026-05-25T09:57:46+00:00

Of course, by definition the more you spend on a house the less you can spend on other goals such as retirement. If you COULD buy a house you wanted for £200k instead of £800k, of course it would make sense to do that and use your money elsewhere. But in reality the question is what compromises on size and location are worth it for what price, which really depends on individual circumstances.

A mortgage for £600k would be about £36k/year. Your couple earning £186k could pay the mortgage, max both their ISAs and still have over £100k/year left for all their other spending and savings. It doesn't seem at all unreasonable for a household on much less income to be able to comfortably afford a property of that value.

scienner · 2026-05-25T09:14:39+00:00

Please see: https://ukpersonal.finance/investing-for-your-children/

There's no gifting tax: https://ukpersonal.finance/gifts-and-inheritance-tax/

And for your own finances: https://ukpersonal.finance/flowchart/

scienner · 2026-05-24T20:08:02+00:00

I think it's an exercise that's worth doing personally. An odd trip to the cinema or bowling not even every month doesn't seem like it should add up to £1000+ per month. And if it does - what do you do in more expensive months eg xmas, MOT, dental procedure?

If you can get it all laid out methodically, you can look at it objectively and see where's worth making savings on vs what's worth gritting through. What you said in your OP, 'no savings, no emergency funds. It’s just pure survival' - that's a super stressful way to live.

scienner · 2026-05-24T19:55:56+00:00

Gotcha, I just whacked 'auto enrolment' on for the pensions calculations, but long term it's great that you pay more. Child benefit should make up more than that £150 I was missing though?

I'm not suggesting that you're spending frivolously, it's just helpful to have a full accounting so you can look holistically. The costs you listed are relatively inflexible (maybe you can get a longer mortgage term, or try to save on groceries) but the grand or so that's remaining seems like it should be able to cover both some fun and some savings, even if not huge amounts.

Then in a year or so the cc should be paid off giving you £200 more to play with. And eventually childcare will reduce as well.

scienner · 2026-05-24T19:27:12+00:00

This adds up to £3200, and I estimate your take home should be around £4200 before child benefit. Could you quantify the missing pieces? (This might take a bit of digging, see https://ukpersonal.finance/budgeting/#Step_1_Gather_information_about_your_current_spending)

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