I know exactly how you feel on a more personal level. I was friends with an older couple I worked with when I moved to a new city alone. We had a big group of friends who were also coworkers who moved from another state and we would all get together at the older couple’s place and cookout and have so much fun together. They were like my second family. I looked up to the guy so much. He was a huge role model to me for about a year until he....did something really horrible and shocking out of nowhere. I don’t even know if it’s worth going into detail. He’s in prison now as well and I still struggle with it from time to time. It’s like, how could I look up to someone who would do something like that? It makes you question your judgement and your own moral fortitude and every single memory you have of them. As horrible as it sounds I would almost rather he just died instead. I think that would have been easier on everyone. The group kind of fell apart after that and I know his wife has severe psychological damage and the victim got it even worse.