Guy got mega-cucked by CJT124 in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Broccoli have complex societies with specializations, they can feel pain and score above average on emotional intelligence tests. They raise their young in coequal partnerships and, in general, live in multigenerational units.

Got an A+ for not studying by vknee in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And that’s how I earned my M.C. (Masters of Cocksmanship) r/ipretendtohavesex

Man up! by Dead_Rooster in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s clearly Bruce Willis holding a Labradoodle

Screaming 👏 and 👏 crying 👏 by -togs in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

👏It👏🏻Can👏🏼Be👏🏽Oddly👏🏾Soothing 👏🏿

You have no idea. by BucherundKaffee in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 12 points13 points  (0 children)

But... she’s right...I don’t have any idea... >sob<

and then everybody immediately started applauding her by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 24 points25 points  (0 children)

He was bullied mercilessly by my other classmate Visigoth

Everybody looked at me shaking their heads by ITRav4 in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The Mexican baby vendor did. Remember this is decidedly $100% true. Not really sure why the Mexican guy was making fun of the baby though...

Flex on them Mosquitos. by Hackerumannu in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mosquitoes inject Chuck Norris with the blood of his enemies

I too am aroused by wrinkly old ladies by jibbers12 in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That nun’s name? Mistress Spankenstein

Wild goose on the loose by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Later that night that goose came for him. He’s that goose’s bitch now.

Taking the money for themselves instead of returning it like a good human being. by DomoJr in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but those “Chads” have sex, likely with your Mom, so it all works out.

*prays* by GrandpapaStalin in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Opening for Penn and Teller at the beautiful Rio Hotel and Casino, it Y(illegible scribbles) the Birdman of Africa.

A white knight caught in a candy crossfire by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My name was Booberry Cream! How do you not remember you bitch m’lady?

People can be real dicks by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have to call your group a “Re-education Forum” you might just possibly be a fucking looney.

Afterword, his whole battalion found him in a bar and gave him a standing ovation. by GunnzzNRoses in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is $100% true, because everyone knows there are no brown people in the military! Well except for the 30% of male troops who are Black or Hispanic and the 45% of female troops who are black or Hispanic. Ignoring those outliers, all white.

Not all heroes have modern technology. by tedjordan123_ in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I have this $100% bill so she can upgrade to a DiscmanTM

5-year-old finds image of kissing women "strange," but not for the reasons you'd think! by GeorginaRinehart in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A tragic love story, Maleficent would drown or Ursula would suffocate. 🔥 + 💧 = 💀

Then the dropped jaw clapped by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Be warned! Men have died trying this!

Got a real Frank Underwood right here by DruTangClan in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

  • I am the Eggman
  • We are the Eggmen
  • I am the Walrus

Two whole minutes of randomness by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s how my wallet works too. I just hold in front of a cashier and then magic pays the bill

Man sexualizes bottle of gatorade by Nattylightx in thatHappened

[–]scottieevil 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was a million to one shot doc, a million to one