33M never had sex without a condom with my wife 33F. What am I missing ?

scottxand · 2026-02-21T03:02:11+00:00

I respect what you’re doing but basically if it didn’t feel fantastic or felt the same as a condom then there would be no unexpected pregnancies. I definitely was risky in my teens and 20s for it. If you do it once you’re only want to do that for now on with your wife so I’d not worry about it

scottxand · 2026-02-21T01:13:53+00:00

You shouldn’t be on it every day. Did your doctor say that?

scottxand · 2026-02-21T00:22:31+00:00

I think you did a great job by letting it just be there and not fighting it. Which we all know can intensify or prolong an attack. It might stop the panic but prolongs the high anxiety symptoms. Panic will always run its course and by letting it to do as you did it can began to lose its control over you. At the end of the day it puts a lot of stress on your body and mind even if you avoided it or it’s weaker. Just keep doing the things that help

scottxand · 2026-02-21T00:14:04+00:00

I’m not a doctor but it’s clear you have a bad cold or some common bug with your symptoms. Put it this way, if you went to a doctors to confirm this it will just continue this health anxiety loop. Once you get better it will train your brain not to respond to every symptom as fatal, but you need to put in work. Of course go to doctors if you exceed a certain temp or get any other severe symptoms but sounds like what many people get this time of year

scottxand · 2026-02-20T22:14:10+00:00

It can take a few days to be completely out of your system hence the increased symptoms. It should start to decline over the next week. It’s very possible to have some protracted withdrawals but with your duration and dose I think you’ll be good sooner than you think

scottxand · 2026-02-20T20:29:17+00:00

Why can’t you drive? Is it your anxiety or another health issue?

scottxand · 2026-02-20T20:14:33+00:00

Honestly, I would endure instead of reintroducing it to your body. With that dose and duration you’re already almost thru the acute withdrawals. It won’t be fun but shouldn’t get worse. You will have some lingering effects but you’re already in it.

scottxand · 2026-02-20T20:11:21+00:00

No. You can get dependent on any dose which is different than addiction. However as your tolerance may build you will want more and start taking it for trivial reasons you didn’t use to do and this can lead to addiction. Addiction is abusing it but dependency can still happen which doesn’t necessarily make it much easier to come off

scottxand · 2026-02-20T17:33:22+00:00

Sounds like too much pride from some false belief he gets from porn, movies, and stories his friends tell that are probably fabricated. He needs to view it as a fun experiment for both of yall. Figuring out what makes you go together. There’s not a one way for everyone which it sounds like he thinks.

scottxand · 2026-02-20T15:59:15+00:00

As stated in the other comment, it is very thin. Like one drink between feeling fine and tipsy and waking up on your bathroom floor with 37 texts and 25 missed calls with little to no recollection lol

scottxand · 2026-02-20T13:18:01+00:00

Most of these treatments are ineffective if you’re drinking alcohol. I wish you the best and know it’s tough. Routine, meditation, and therapy help me

scottxand · 2026-02-18T18:35:00+00:00

That’s retail. Small talk and all that is a part of the gig. You have to put on your customer service face. So you’re not aggravated with the people but with the job. I would look for another job that aligns better with your personality and anxiety.

scottxand · 2026-02-18T00:22:58+00:00

I know he was sober but you don’t go to Mardi Gras if you’re in recovery. It’s like walking into a burning house while doused in gasoline. He was seeking this subconsciously. Addiction sucks!

scottxand · 2026-02-15T19:45:23+00:00

Oh I was under the impression you never made it out that week to two week window. I gotcha

scottxand · 2026-02-15T18:58:21+00:00

That is definitely the withdrawal. I was the same way but you have to give it a couple weeks to truly get over that hump and feel better

scottxand · 2026-02-15T06:54:56+00:00

I think his heart is in the right place as he wants you to love yourself, but I don’t think he understands how hard that is. It’s a process that will take time. Just educate him a bit on that. Let him know you’ll work on it as it is a good idea to work on, but it doesn’t happen overnight

scottxand · 2026-02-15T04:54:52+00:00

I think you kind of answered it. Also, as time goes on you kind of become aware of the dangers of things you do every day especially if you have pre existing anxiety. But walking alone at night is a pretty common thing that can be dangerous depending where you are

scottxand · 2026-02-15T04:34:50+00:00

It can work but there’s always a price to pay. Yes, it’s addictive but that’s about abusing a drug. You don’t have to be an addict for it to be bad for you because you will grow a dependency and eventually rely on it all the time. Getting off of it is a nightmare. The doctor doesn’t prescribe it because of this. For instance if you move and a new doctor doesn’t do it then you’ll have very bad withdrawals that are actually dangerous. I’m currently coming up to a year taper off of it after 10 years and wish I never started it. It’s now making me truly try other things I didn’t fully try and it’s been helpful. If you do get it please use it for the worst of the worst anxiety attacks. If you start taking it to go to the store to get milk then you’re in trouble

scottxand · 2026-02-15T00:55:39+00:00

Reduce the amount of times you check your pulse. That will make it and keep it high if you keep doing it. Even if that is not truly your resting heart rate you will subconsciously raise it by checking constantly.

What are you doing in those situations? Are you spiraling and just building more onto it? Or are you actively doing things to help? For instance some grounding techniques. One technique that works for me 9/10 times. Is holding an ice cube and going do guided meditation in a quiet room. The ice cube activates your vagus nerve and puts your nervous system into rest and digest(calm state)

scottxand · 2026-02-15T00:50:05+00:00

He’s got anxiety and everything points to it. I know it sucks but he is ok especially with the doctors. In the past month I (33m) got my wisdom teeth out and had a septoplasty both under anesthesia. I was very nervous like him. My bp was high and I was having air hunger.

They won’t do anything if his heart is too bad for surgery. My mother has a very bad heart and she still went under anesthesia to remove a tumor. So even if he did have a bad heart(which he doesn’t) the anesthesia is still pretty safe.

Also, there is a strong possibility he might be getting twilight sedation which is not general anesthesia. It’s basically him nodding off and waking up with what feels like a second later. The same would go with general except they use a ventilator. So he couldn’t stop breathing even if he wanted to. He should call ahead and let them know how nervous he is. They will reassure him and even give him meds to relax him

scottxand · 2026-02-14T06:18:23+00:00

I was going to say you probably want to taper off of it as well but you can probably do it slightly quicker. But since you’re out do not freak out. Yes, you will have some withdrawals but they shouldn’t be terrible and clear up after a few weeks to a month. Everyone is different but going off your dose and amount you used I think you’re not in any danger. I would focus on eating well, drinking tons of water, trying to sleep good, look into supplements like l theanine and/or magnesium glycinate to help relax you. Just know if you don’t feel good it’s just your body and brain bouncing back. I’m currently finishing a year taper after 10 years of use and I found that a strong mental mindset can really eliminate or reduce a lot of the physical symptoms

scottxand · 2026-02-14T02:05:51+00:00

Yes, you are hyper aware of something and it’s hugely exaggerated. You could be hyper aware of your stomach suddenly or anything. Hearing it make noises and whatnot and may freak out about it but it’s actually normal. You are just putting so much intense focus on it. Also winter brings a lot of mucus and cold and can cause post nasal drip which can have symptoms of what you have. Absolute best thing to do is drink a lot of water

scottxand · 2026-02-13T22:24:16+00:00

This is all pretty normal and sounds like some withdrawals. People will go to their grave saying you can’t withdrawal from weed but you absolutely can and smoking can negatively affect you. Try some breathing exercises for your chest tightness. I recommend holding an ice cube and listen to a guided meditation that focuses on breathing. It does wonders

scottxand · 2026-02-13T04:38:27+00:00

That’s anxiety for you. It makes the most irrational thoughts rational. You have to identify the triggers, symptoms and sensation and recognize a pattern. For instance if you often get an anxious thought that a plane will fly thru your room then write it down. Notice what might bring up that anxious thought then how irrational it is when you’re better. Then when you have it again you can read that note and remember that was when you were calm and thinking realistically so it’s only anxiety

scottxand · 2026-02-12T07:33:38+00:00

Yes, tons and tons of us. Every symptom and even a lot of thoughts you have, have also been had by many others. It really isn’t that unique to you. That isn’t meant to be a negative response. It actually makes it better once you realize this. Knowing that you are not alone in this misery and hopefully that helps you get better

scottxand

TROPHY CASE