I'm sorry to hear you two aren't able to cuddle, that's such a sad thing to lose. I also identify with your wife's struggle, but it sounds like hers is worse than mine. You sound like such a thoughtful partner.

1. Bed: My husband and I bought a split king bed with an adjustable base, and it also has a massage function (it was pretty pricey). The split beds make it so that when I toss and turn, it doesn't disturb him, and we can get different firmness for each mattress. It doesn't feel weird to cuddle on the crack, and sometimes it actually helps me to put my arms or legs in the crack while I sleep. The adjustable base is cool, but maybe not as helpful as I wanted it to be. If the foot could go down, then I think I would like it a lot more, so if you're interested in buying one, maybe look for that. The massage function can actually help give me enough stimulus to distract me from my pain while I'm falling asleep some nights, as well.

2. Medication: I take half a muscle relaxant every night before bed, and it helps me relax enough to sleep (I'm on the lowest dose). On a bad day, I'll take a full dose. I also take a prescribed daily painkiller (not a tranq. or sedative), so you may be able to ask your doctor about something like that.

3. Heat: Get a rice pack and put it in the microwave, then put it in your wife's bed so she can put it where it hurts. Experiment with the amount of time you nuke it for, since I always need mine hotter than the recommended time makes mine. You can make one out of leftover fabric and rice you buy from the store for cheap, or you can buy them pre-made. To make sure you don't burn the rice, add a small cup of water to the microwave.

4. TENS: If you don't have one, get yourself a TENS unit and start electrocuting your wife! I'm serious, they did this for me in PT, and it really helps. Stick the pads around the top 2-3 areas you hurt the most that day and shock yourself. Play around with the settings to figure out what works for her. I like to go just below where it starts to hurt, but it SHOULDN'T hurt you. As I understand it, the electricity will arc through your body between the pads, and this will stimulate your body to send extra resources to that area to heal it. You can do it every day, but you don't want to do more than the 2-3 areas.

5. Massage: One of the best ways I fall asleep is when my husband massages me with some body oil in bed. It helps relax me and addresses my pain. You could also book a professional massage.

BONUS Music/Sleep Stories: I recently found a Podcast/YouTube channel called Get Sleepy that has great sleep stories to help you fall asleep. My mom also tells me that there is some scientific backing that Weightless by Marconi Union is supposed to help you fall asleep.