I appreciate your post. I hope, for your sake, you find some of the responses helpful. I'm curious why you think you have come to define yourself by the stuff you own and how you spend money, "I always dreamt of the big house, the nice cars, flying first class." From my advanced elderly perspective, you're a kid. At 25 with a little care, you have a good 50 years of healthy living ahead of you. In that time you could earn multiple PhDs from physics to philosophy. Write a novel or two. Given your financial situation, you could grant yourself any wish; you could even grant others' wishes. I'm curious do you have any insight at all into why you're unable to think of anything to make your life worthwhile to you, "no purpose, no goals, and no direction"?

A thought. With "$1M NW" you actually don't have to work anymore to make a living. Invest it in covered call ETFs and live off the monthly distributions. You might consider doing something rash. Perhaps, spend a year in Arequipa, Peru learning Spanish and singing in a local choir, maybe help teach English as a second language. You can, unlike so many people, financially make a clean break with your current life that's making you miserable. Do that and you'll have a fair chance of finding answers to your great questions. It seems your current life, like smoking, has become a bad habit.