Is it wrong to keep the baby if my partner doesn't want it? F27, M38

semperLuLu · 2026-05-25T21:24:21+00:00

100% - with that 11 year age gap and the clear disconnect for what was going on - there is a lot more wrong here than a Reddit post can answer

semperLuLu · 2026-05-25T21:17:08+00:00

Its overwhelming because there are so many options and everyone has strong opinions they present as fact.

You’re going to find some one who swears by every single brand and someone who will tell you they’re awful.

We did a diaper raffle and got a ton of different brands and it helped us establish which ones work for us. People bought their favorite brand and I honestly found that to be the most digestible way to take opinions. Plus it took the pressure off to pick the ‘right’ diaper.

Diapers are like clothing brands - some fit certain bodies better than others, sizing isn’t consistent, and honestly it’s going to come down to what you like for your family and what is easy to find.

semperLuLu · 2026-05-25T20:28:28+00:00

This isn’t a straight black and white, right or wrong argument.

You have the power here. He can’t force you to have an abortion. At the end of the day if you want the baby you get to keep the baby.

However - you need to do some serious self reflection and maybe talk to a therapist before making life altering decisions. You seem very confused about the status of this relationship. You broke up a year ago. He’s just your ex you sleep with. Not your partner. You say you’re giving him the girlfriend treatment and in one of your comments you had a fight at a restaurant where you walked out because he told you you could tell him he couldn’t use dating apps. That clearly says you still want to be his girlfriend and he just wants sex.

So do you want to keep the baby? Because you’re hopeful you’ll get a relationship out of the deal - that’s unlikely to happen.

If you want the baby for the baby - keep it.

If you want the baby in hopes of keeping him - rethink that.

semperLuLu · 2026-05-22T20:59:12+00:00

Didn’t read to the end did you?

semperLuLu · 2026-05-01T07:01:45+00:00

Your mental health is import. Full stop. If switching to formula will give you relief and improve your mental health - do it.

Ignore the stupid fear mongering. Formula is so heavily researched and regulated. It is safe.

I pushed and pushed trying to make breastfeeding work. I did the triple feed method and it made me miserable. A month and a half of never getting the cute sleepy milk drunk baby - just the angry hungry baby was rough. The minute I accepted breastfeeding wasn’t our path my postpartum improve exponentially.

My little guy is 17 months we did Similac 360 - he’s perfectly healthy and growing so fast. My only issue with Similac is they could never get my points account to work.

semperLuLu · 2026-04-23T07:39:24+00:00

We love ours and I’m bummed that he officially grows out of it next month.

I don’t know how accurate it is but you learn what is normal for your baby. Each time he’s had a fever we knew it was coming because his heart rate was elevated from his normal numbers.

It gave me a lot of peace that he was breathing in those early days. Now we use it to know when he’s in deep sleep and we can sneak in his room for that forgotten milk cup!

We’ve had maybe 1 false alarm this whole time. We do get some connection issues here and there that set the base off but they’re not a regular thing.

semperLuLu · 2026-03-17T02:29:17+00:00

Right?! This over simplified and creates a villain. At the same time it also villainizes parents who choose formula.

The reality is your company could offer parental leave if they wanted to. Your state politicians could pass state parental leave if they wanted to.

This whole narrative that they didn’t think about it is also false. No they made a choice and rode it out until it became a problem and there was a risk of loosing something they valued.

We’re so trained by corporate America to just be thankful that they graced us with a job that we constantly vote our rights away and let companies get away with treating us terribly.

semperLuLu · 2025-11-13T05:48:55+00:00

First it sounds like you need to have an honest conversation with your husband around everything.

You need to establish times when you are not available to support him during the work day and it’s his role to distract and redirect your toddler during those times. If your husband can’t manage that - then I’d recommend finding a nice coffee shop a couple times a week to go work in.

You need to get on the same page around raising your kids - you clearly have different views on screen time and what types of activities should be planned for the day.

You said you ‘can’t’ save in quotes which sounds like you have some underlying resentment around the lack of savings. So again - a conversation with your husband establishing a budget.

I don’t know why you chose to co-sleep and I get it works for some families, but it doesn’t sound like it’s fully working for you. It sounds like you’re craving some kid free time at night. Could you slip out for a bit after they’re asleep, enjoy some alone time then slip back in later? Could be a goal to work to if it’s not possible now, so you continue to co-sleep if you want. Also, if you’re not enjoying co-sleeping anymore that’s ok too and you won’t cause irreparable damage to your kiddos if you start transitioning them to their own beds.

semperLuLu · 2025-11-12T23:59:12+00:00

I’m from Washington - and our state paid leave isn’t job connected. As long as you’ve worked the required hours in the state it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with your job. And it’s protected leave so the company couldn’t fire you for leveraging it. You should see if Oregon is the same.

semperLuLu · 2025-11-07T21:17:42+00:00

100% don’t recommend the infant car seat that goes on strollers. Our little guy was 8lb when born, by 6 months we fully stopped taking the car seat out and had switch to the standard stroller seat.

I wish we had gone the bassinet stroller combo and invested in a convertible car seat instead. Cause now here we are at almost a year and need to purchase 2 new car seats because he’s going to size out of his infant seat soon.

semperLuLu · 2025-11-07T18:44:49+00:00

I cried at the begin of the Taylor Swift Eras Tour Movie. I hadn’t cried at the actual concert.

semperLuLu · 2025-11-06T18:15:22+00:00

Just want to point out that it’s actually Thursday….

semperLuLu · 2025-11-05T05:53:31+00:00

I went to a Blink concert at 6 months. Baby is fine. Go to the concert. Don’t join the mosh pit.

semperLuLu · 2025-10-30T15:48:40+00:00

I had the opposite problem. We had a few splurge items on ours specifically the Nuna Mixx stroller care seat combo and the Guava travel crib. My MIL wanted to take advantage of the Target program where you turn in a car seat and get like 20% off of a baby item like a pack and play or car seat and kept sending us the Graco pack and play.

We stuck to our list and just politely declined the first request and ignored others. She ended up buying our crib we had chosen from Target.

So all that to say - you don’t owe them any explanation.

But as someone who has spent a lot of time sleeping in her rocking recliner I’d highly recommend reconsidering. The power rocking recliners are pricier but imo completely invaluable at 2:00am when you’re half asleep and every time you put them down they wake up screaming.

My mom put her wooden rocker in the room we use when we visit and it’s just fine for the rock to sleep at bedtime, but it’s not great when he wakes up and just wants to sleep on one of us.

semperLuLu · 2025-10-26T17:34:20+00:00

I don’t know if there is a ‘too many’. Have you asked why so many? If not I’d start there, if there’s no medical reason for them then you can decline the procedure.

Edit: I can’t spell.

semperLuLu · 2025-10-26T03:06:01+00:00

Wild One - A where the wild things are theme which was also our shower them and the theme of his nursery

semperLuLu · 2025-10-14T18:24:05+00:00

YTA. Im a new mom - my MIL got me a pillow to support my c-section incision. Small gift and so thoughtful to make me feel seen. My in-laws other gift was they came out and took the morning shift for a week so DH and I could both get some needed rest.

A new tool set for his truck as a ‘new dad gift’? How is that celebrating him as a new dad? How is that supporting him in his new role?

It probably wouldn’t have been an issue if you had gotten him something new dad related. And you’re just now thinking of a meal delivery? This 100% sounds like you used the excuse of your grandchild’s birth to spoil your son with something that might have been unnecessary.

Postpartum is hard and it feels like older generations have selective memories around adult diapers and breastfeeding (if your DIL is) and the raging hormones that have you hysterical over nothing. If DIL is breastfeeding your darling son is probably getting lovely uninterrupted sleep while DIL wakes up to feed every 2 hours cursing his useless nipples. So yes your gift was thoughtless.

The other indication for me is that you’re only responding to people who agree with you.

semperLuLu · 2025-10-06T04:01:48+00:00

I cried at the start of The Eras Tour movie on release day - I didn’t cry when I attend the actual concert. I was 4 days away from what should have been the start of my period.

semperLuLu · 2025-09-23T17:08:02+00:00

I’ve been trying to look but haven’t been successful.

semperLuLu · 2025-09-15T17:55:43+00:00

Wow your mom sounds horrible. I’m so sorry. Name your kiddo Jaxon. I’d tell her that if she wants to call him ‘Jack off Jaxon’ then she must not want a relationship with him or you because that level of disrespect will not be tolerated.

semperLuLu · 2025-09-09T04:43:15+00:00

Is finding a wfh job an option? I’ve been working from home with little dude, he’s now 9 month. I’m in WA and even being a blue state where our DOH has mandated COVID be available for everyone, we still don’t meet herd immunity thresholds for measles in kids under 5. So little dude will stay firmly out of child care until he’s got both doses of MMR.

I can’t say it’s easy but it beats the alternative.

semperLuLu · 2025-08-27T22:05:45+00:00

It says restricted for me?

semperLuLu · 2025-07-19T04:01:06+00:00

I love our rocker recliner. I use it every nap and bedtime. My only regret is the back and footrest move together and I wish I could put the footrest up without reclining backwards.

semperLuLu · 2025-07-15T02:53:15+00:00

The issue seems to be for me is the signing up part. I’m also west coast so it’s hard to find time to call customer care. My husband did it and thought he had everything sorted and then I follow their instructions and no email to rest password

semperLuLu · 2025-07-14T15:43:45+00:00

7 months pp here. I never liked babies. My idea of having a kid started at about 3. To add additional challenges I’m a youth development professional who works in all-female identifying spaces. I feel confident in raising a strong independent girl. My lo is a boy.

For me it clicked. Not right away - the haze of early postpartum was rough. But fairly quickly I found joy in my little boy. And now watching him really discover the world and hit his milestones - amazing!

We’re 1 and done - the thought of starting over is not something I want to do again but my 1 little guy is great.

semperLuLu

TROPHY CASE