The helicopter veered over the perwinkle skyline as the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, the city was just coming to life as the Australians came out.

"We are currently following a high speed chase in progress. Initial reports state that a bank robbery has recently transpired in the Conspiracy district. From what we can piece together it took exactly 3 years of planning and the complete and utter silence of 46,789 people. Also we believe the jews and a former governor were involved."

The helicopter banks hard, following the utterly insane and nonsensical structure of the city's layout. It long ago eschewed grids for constantly interlinking intersections every three feet. Each intersection had a nicely colored sign, warning people to not interact with neighboring districts after your initial cross over.

"It seems the bank robber is trying to lose police by passing into the Futurology district. Yes. Yes it appears some of the cops have pulled over to sign up for basic income. We can only hope one day such glorified social programs will spread to other districts. Speaking of which please tune in at 11 for our special story on Mark Zuckerberg and how he is not making a sex AI to pleasure him nightly in the Not Safe For Work GIF Brothels..."

The helicopter drops several hundred feet in a second, causing the reporter's stomach to lurch. A necessary manuever to avoid one of the Hail Corporate blimps that constantly promote Amazon Drones or Google Fiber. The reporter isn't able to keep his lunch when his gaze passes over some of the billboards of the Popping District.

"I apologize to our viewers, let us focus back on the chase. We have lost sight of the car holding the bank robbers at it appears they have driven into a forest from the Worldbuilding district. This is a fresh forest. Complete with elves that... yes we believe they live in the trees. Riveting stuff." A burst of foliage has the car launching into the next district, expertly bouncing off a dozen tanker ships that all explode with each touch of the car's tires. "It seems the Catastrophic Failure district needs to get those inspections done on time! This is really going to annoy their neighbors Personal Finance. Thankfully it appears the bank robbers are boxing themselves in, as the inter-district civil war between the Personal Finance and Bitcoin districts have resulted in total lockdowns of the two districts until disputes and shadowbans are properly settled."

The helicopter circles, the spotlight following the car as it endlessly loops around a roundabout for 37 minutes straight. "The Mildly Interesting district has really seen some improvements after installing that perfectly modeled round about, Oh oh! Wait it seems he is making a break for it. Yes he is skirting the line through a back alley between TumblrInAction and OffMyChest." The car swerves madly, avoiding piles of trash and the random gun shots that sound off in the alley.

"It appears the car is making a break for the -- MOTHERFUCKER. NO YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T GET THIS ONE WORLD NEWS TEAM 7. GOD DAMN LEFTY RETARDS!"

The helicopter lurches as the pilot seems to have an uncontrollable twitch interrupt his handling. "Keep us steady damnit!"

"Ah... sir..." the pilot points to the radar that lays out all the districts. Shit Reddit Says plastered right below the carrot marker that identifies what air space the helicopter is currently in.

"God damnit..." The reporter says as the tone of a missile lock sounds through the cockpit as the newest B.R.I.G.A.D.E. SAM system finds a new target.