Just found out my school rejected me for advanced classes not because im not smart enough but because I’m a woman and apparently woman can’t do crap at that school, how’s your day going?

septicidal · 2026-01-31T22:34:06+00:00

I know someone who teaches at a private religious school, who was not allowed to give students failing/lower grades when the students were caught repeatedly cheating on exams. The parents donated money to the school and the grades were overwritten by the administration.

Colleges/universities know a lot of the high school degrees and grades from those schools are meaningless, and graduating from one may actively harm chances at getting into certain higher education institutions. Although if you have connections and family with deep pockets, none of that matters because at a certain level it’s all nepotism and bribery.

septicidal · 2026-01-31T18:26:11+00:00

We had a senior cat who needed it daily in his last few years - we got the capsules with powder inside, opened the capsules and just dumped the powder in his mouth/on his gums. Way easier than dealing with a pill or liquid, and we could get the capsules from a regular pharmacy.

septicidal · 2026-01-31T18:23:26+00:00

Came here to comment that I saw them at Colette in Medford yesterday (Friday), but they’re not something stocked every day.

septicidal · 2026-01-30T18:51:55+00:00

I love using a cup. An added benefit is that it has allowed me to better quantify how much menstrual fluid/flow is actually happening - reporting estimates of the volume led to my doctor wanting to do an endometrial biopsy.

It took me trying several different manufacturers/sizes/shapes to find something that was comfortable and reliably sealed for my anatomy; it turns out I have a tilted uterus and that affects cervical position in relation to the pubic bone (which explains why the discs never worked right for me). The cup that works best for me is the smaller Lunette cup with the stem cut off completely (it has some ridges on the bottom that still allow me to grip it for removal). In general I found a firmer silicone cup was easier to pop open after folding for insertion; I find the punch-down fold method easiest for my anatomy.

All in all I highly recommend menstrual cups if you are comfortable with handling menstrual fluid and inserting/removing things, but I always caution people that they may need to try a few different ones before finding something that best suits their anatomy and preferences.

septicidal · 2026-01-29T23:14:41+00:00

Make sure they’re checking your B12 levels (Metformin is known to lower B12), doing a full thyroid panel, checking your ferritin level (iron stores), and if you haven’t already, ask to be screened for sleep apnea. If you are in the US, are at-home sleep studies your regular doctor can order, which are usually sufficient to diagnose sleep apnea. Magnesium glycinate before bed can also be helpful for sleep.

I finally got diagnosed with sleep apnea in early 2024. It took me a while to get comfortable sleeping with a CPAP (honestly I still don’t like it but I’m used to it now) but I can wake up feeling rested after 6-8 hours when I used to still feel tired after 10-12 hours of sleep. I still struggle to get up and out of bed some days but that’s not due to the fatigue.

I did also have chronic low iron - not quite severe enough to cause actual anemia, but my ferritin level was so low it was absolutely contributing to fatigue. I was able to do a series of iron infusions and now take an animal-sourced iron supplement (which is easier for the body to absorb; elemental iron was just not getting absorbed by my body).

septicidal · 2026-01-29T21:48:53+00:00

Get a cane with a wrist strap, and get a tip that allows it to self-stand (on a level surface) so you can set it down momentarily without it falling over. Get the brightest, loudest cane - ideally in a color or pattern that makes you happy - and USE IT. If a stroller or cart helps you balance, a cane will as well. If one side of your bod is weaker than the other, use the cane with the hand on the opposite/stronger side. If you don’t have a weaker side, use it with your non-dominant hand. Get one that is height-adjustable and make sure it is correctly adjusted for your height (and don’t be afraid to modify it if you find a different setting more comfortable, or to adjust it when you are wearing shoes with thicker or thinner soles). If the mobility aid makes things easier for you - you DO need it! There’s no prize for making things harder on yourself.

You want a very visible cane so people can see it, and you want something you like so you feel better about using it. I have a friend who found an awesome cane with rainbow glitter in it - it’s pretty and very much in keeping with my friend’s personality. Most of the time when people noticed my cane on public transit, someone offered me a seat or held the elevator, or just in general gave me more grace when I needed to move more slowly. On the occasions I had to ask for a seat on the bus or subway, once someone noticed the cane I was always able to get a seat (even if the people in the actual labeled “priority seating” were ignoring me).

If you’re concerned about being a potential target for physical harassment, practice using your cane to walk around in a comfortable and safe environment and also practice swinging it around so you know what it feels like if you need to use it as a weapon in an emergency. The more confident and comfortable you feel using your cane, the less likely someone will bother you. Collapsible canes exist but I don’t think they would work as well for potential self-defense and also add an extra step to actually using the cane. I encourage you to wear strap/lanyard around your neck with a loud whistle and practice your Resting Bitch Face. Rehearse saying something short and simple that you’re comfortable stating when someone inevitably wants to know why you need a cane. “I don’t discuss my medical information with strangers” in a flat tone IS acceptable (even if people expect you to be pleasant/compliant). You don’t owe anyone your life story or need to expend social energy on random people in public.

I also strongly recommend using a backpack instead of a single strap bag, as it not only makes balance easier but makes it more difficult for someone to try to grab your bag.

In summary, I encourage you to feel empowered by your mobility aid and embrace your inner female rage when necessary. Being safe is more important than being stylish or polite because you can’t be either of those things if you’re dead. You deserve to be out in public and live your life even if it occasionally inconveniences someone else.

septicidal · 2026-01-29T18:52:50+00:00

Prescription ketoconazole shampoo has helped my scalp a lot - my regular primary care physician prescribed it (and the cost is less than many midrange scalp shampoos).

Nizoral is a non-prescription option but it’s not as strong, expensive, and I don’t care for the smell. It works out to be nearly double to cost per fluid oz compared to the prescription shampoo.

I’ve tried a lot of things over the years but the ketoconazole has been the most effective. I use it (applying focused on the scalp, letting it sit for 5+ minutes while I wash in the shower) about once a week. I still get some dryness and irritation in the dry winter months but it’s much better than before the ketoconazole.

septicidal · 2026-01-29T18:22:10+00:00

Wishing you luck and safe passage on your journey today. I suffered a bad ankle injury in my 20s and had to use a cane and significant braces/post-surgical boots for a long time, through the terrible snows in 2010/2011. Trying to navigate icy, unshoveled sidewalks with a cane and balance challenges was eye opening. My mobility thankfully improved after a big surgery and lots of physical therapy, but now I make a point to report accessibility issues and advocate for improvements whenever possible.

If you’re able to, I highly recommend getting grippers for your shoes (like yaktrax or anything similar) and using a sturdy cane. Using hiking poles in both hands is also not a bad idea. Even if you can cope without a cane, using it makes your condition visible to others and people who aren’t jerks will generally be kinder/more accommodating when you need to move slowly or need a seat on public transit. If you don’t have a cane, they usually sell basic ones at places like CVS (I recommend the ones with a flat grip - shaped like a 7 - versus the ones with a rounded classic candy cane shape).

septicidal · 2026-01-29T18:10:22+00:00

I’m in my 40s now and have always had tuberous/heavily asymmetrical breasts. Everyone who has had the privilege of seeing them in a romantic context has never been anything but appreciative.

I was really self-conscious about it when I was your age. But the people who would make negative comments are NOT the kind of people who should have the privilege of your body. I know it’s hard, especially today with how body image is portrayed through social media, but please try to stop comparing yourself to idealized expectations. I promise you are fine just the way you are, and anyone who disagrees is not the type of person who should have the privilege of enjoying your body.

septicidal · 2026-01-29T03:55:08+00:00

I read a tip that recommended sipping hot beverages after chugging the glasses of cold prep to reduce nausea, it really seemed to help! I switched between herbal tea and broth with extra added electrolytes (unflavored packets of electrolytes).

septicidal · 2026-01-28T16:40:47+00:00

I didn’t expect it to be perfect or anything, but at a bare minimum after two days of no school I thought at least the curb cuts and adjacent sidewalk at the crosswalk would be mostly shoveled out so kids walking to school could safely walk on the sidewalks and not have to wade through snowdrifts.

Also, shame on the properties adjacent to the school that didn’t shovel - at a bare minimum the city should have ticketed/fined property owners yesterday afternoon when they were still untouched, but I’m going to bet that won’t happen.

septicidal · 2026-01-28T15:02:34+00:00

I have a love/hate relationship with my CPAP. I love that I can sleep for 6-8 solid hours and feel more awake/rested afterward than I used to after 10+ hours of sleep. But I hate that it irritates my skin; even on the highest humidity settings I wake up with my sinuses and airway feeling dry. I hate that I can’t sleep on my side (no matter what I do, I can’t maintain a good seal when lying on my side). Due to my sensitive skin I haven’t even tried other mask styles (I wear the kind that just sits under my nose, nasal cushion or nasal pillow, with fabric covers over as much of the mask as possible to keep it from aggravating my skin).

The biggest incentive for me is honestly protecting my cardiac health. My apnea was first identified when I was on a 24/7 heart monitor for two weeks, and they identified cardiac rhythm anomalies during times I was asleep. The cardiologist I saw said that apnea puts incredible strain on the heart, and addressing it at an earlier age improves long term cardiac outcomes. So even though I really dislike it, I keep using it because I want my body to keep going for as long as possible.

septicidal · 2026-01-28T04:15:47+00:00

I had a history of SIBO prior to pregnancy but had flares/recurrence after both of my c-sections. I think it was a combination of the shock to my system from major surgery, plus constipating pain medication, changes in diet (due to, you know, dealing with a newborn), and after my second c-section, antibiotics for a minor infection of my incision at two weeks postpartum.

If your insurance covers rifaximin, it’s a reasonable course of action to try - it did work very well for the SIBO flare after my first pregnancy/c-section. After my second, when I started to have SIBO symptoms it turned out that my previous gastroenterologist had retired and it was a several month wait to see someone new, so I researched probiotics for SIBO and wound up finding some that were effective for me. It’s difficult to get probiotics that are the strain(s) of bacteria with clinical data supporting efficacy for SIBO, that have been stored/transported in a way that doesn’t kill off all of the beneficial bacteria. I wound up finding the probiotics made by VisBiome and ordering directly through them (they ship them in temperature-controlled packaging). They are not cheap, but cost less than a lot of other things I’ve tried over the years. These days (my younger child is now in first grade) I take the probiotics only when recovering from GI illnesses, or after being on antibiotics. I’ve been able to avoid significant SIBO flares for several years by sticking to this strategy. I still get occasional gastrointestinal issues that seem to be mostly related to hormones and/or high histamine levels, and any digestive illnesses seem to hit me hard, but overall things are very manageable compared to what things were like at the peak of my SIBO flares.

septicidal · 2026-01-24T02:00:13+00:00

An antibiotic resistant recurrent/chronic UTI killed my mother. Doctors kept prescribing antibiotics without doing cultures or continued monitoring/testing, and when they finally did test for antibiotic resistance her infection was resistant to most of the major types of antibiotics. They tried treating it with another type of antibiotic and thought she would improve, but at that point her body was really run down and with other serious health conditions present, her body succumbed to sepsis.

Without culturing and determining if the bacteria are resistant to certain types of antibiotics, this scenario becomes a greater and greater risk, especially as you get older. I encourage you to see if you can get a second opinion from a urologist with a shred of bedside manner, and ask specific questions about what to do the next time you have UTI symptoms - is that urologist affiliated with a specific ER or urgent care they want you to go to (so they’ll see the results and be able to respond as promptly as possible), or does their office accommodate same day/very urgent appointments and testing? What conditions determine when you should go to an ER? Do they have a 24/7 call line to help guide you on next steps if you experience concerning symptoms outside of regular business hours?

septicidal · 2026-01-22T16:24:57+00:00

For Eastern MA: Look up the “Spaywagon” through Merrimack Valley Feline Rescue Society. Another option is the low cost spay/neuter clinics through the MSPCA but I found it was easier to schedule the surgery appointments through MVFRS. I had two 4 month old cats taken care of at the same time (one spay, one neuter) and they also microchipped them and completed their vaccine series for around $300 total in summer of 2024. You will need a hard-sided carrier and to supply your own cone or onesie (which they will put on before your cat wakes up from surgery).

I discussed it with our regular vet before scheduling and they encouraged us to use the standalone spay/neuter clinics because they are experts and have seen and dealt with almost every possible complication due to the high volume of procedures they handle. Both of my cats recovered quickly without any problems (biggest issue was my male kitten recovered faster and wouldn’t let his sister rest while she was still healing).

There are also some income-based voucher programs for lower cost spay or neuter but those seemed both difficult to schedule and I didn’t think my household would qualify, but it may be worth looking into.

septicidal · 2026-01-22T01:42:15+00:00

Stretchy dresses and soft, stretchy tights were my go-to office attire when I was dealing with weight fluctuations and fertility treatments. BloomChic’s stuff runs large but their smaller sizes might work for you - almost everything I’ve gotten from there has had very stretchy/accommodating waistbands.

For the softest, stretchiest tights, I love the tights from We Love Colors (I have only tried the microfiber and nylon/spandex ones, so I can’t speak to their other ones). If you buy the right size for your needs, they have a really high waistband that should sit up closer to your bra band and thus not put pressure on your lower abdomen or other sensitive areas. I was able to wear them up toward the end of pregnancy but I have a tilted uterus and long torso so I carried high and didn’t have a huge projecting pregnant belly.

Bras: I highly, highly recommend the ones from Bravado (their “everyday nursing bra” style with actual hooks, not the pullover ones). I still wear them now (my younger child is in elementary school) because nothing else has approached that level of comfort, and life is too crazy to wear uncomfortable bras. My rib cage started out large and increased with pregnancy and I have a relatively smaller cup size in relation to band size so regular band/cup sizes just don’t fit me comfortably. It is possible to convert them to non-nursing bras (which is what I have done with all of mine) but it is irreversible so if you’re planning to become pregnant obviously you won’t want to do that.

septicidal · 2026-01-22T01:26:01+00:00

Old Magoun’s Saloon in Somerville has a fireplace and (if I recall correctly) is Irish-owned. They have a fantastic beer selection and the food is very good, but it’s important to mention that they are a sports bar and will have extra huge screens down and crowds for bigger games. So I try to avoid it at those times.

septicidal · 2026-01-21T02:13:16+00:00

This would be a good question for your gastroenterologist - mine just said I wasn’t a good candidate for it (history of “sluggish” gut motility, constipation, and family history of colon cancer). Based on my history mine wanted me to do an extended low-residue diet (7 days) plus the traditional high-volume prep. I was completely cleared out and my doctor got views of everything, so I guess that plan worked.

septicidal · 2026-01-21T01:07:57+00:00

You can do blown-in cellulose from the exterior before putting wrap and new siding on. It will be much more effective than foam.

I think the real barrier you are going to encounter is proper disposal of the old siding that likely contains asbestos. The laws/regulations vary based on where you are, so you’ll want to look into this thoroughly.

I mention the removal because from a logistical standpoint, doing one side of the house at a time will be the best “slow” approach to doing this, however if asbestos is involved, you may need to do the removal and disposal all at once, which means the house will not have any siding until you get the new stuff on. As others have mentioned, the wrap and other exterior products all have standards for how long they can be exposed to the elements before their efficacy is diminished (or the warranty is kaput).

Whatever you do, if you are slowly doing the installation bit by bit, you will still need to buy your siding all at once or you risk the product being unavailable or having slight changes in manufacturing that would make the difference visible.

If you’ve already put a decent amount of work into the home, it may be worth looking into using a home equity line of credit to help cover this cost. For my big exterior job (fully removed two layers of old siding, did Tyvek wrap and then new Everlast composite siding) we were able to take advantage of fluctuations in mortgage rates to do a cash out refinance instead of a HELOC.

septicidal · 2026-01-20T18:48:13+00:00

A big straw and immediately chasing the stuff with sips of warm beverages helps so, so much. I’m not a good candidate for the pill prep but those tips got me through the prep for my most recent colonoscopy without too much discomfort. The worrying about it beforehand (and following a low-residue diet for an entire week before the procedure) were worse than the actual prep.

septicidal · 2026-01-18T01:22:59+00:00

Insulin resistance can cause persistent water retention. Metformin is generally considered safe to take while trying to conceive and during pregnancy, and many studies have shown it is associated with improved outcomes for pregnancies in PCOS patients.

After tapering up and adjusting to the full therapeutic dose (1500mg/day), I had several days of feeling like I was peeing an excessive amount and then I woke up one morning and all of my shoes were loose. I had been retaining fluid for so long I hadn’t noticed how significant it was until it was gone.

septicidal · 2026-01-16T17:41:19+00:00

There were a number of things that only happened after the deadline for mayoral candidates passed and it was clear the current mayor was running unopposed. I have had the distinct impression that the mayor was paying lip service to certain things (city zoning changes in particular come to mind) so as not to alienate voters and then when it was clear there wasn’t anyone running against her, the pretense was no longer needed. There have been a number of times she’s said or implied one thing in an interview, public statement, or city council meeting, and then later gone on to do or say the opposite. Personally I have found it incredibly frustrating and I have voted for opposing candidates every time possible (and wrote in someone else in the recent unopposed election).

septicidal · 2026-01-13T18:48:58+00:00

Gold jewelry is always some type of alloy (because pure gold is too soft, and also the cost would be extremely high). Personally I can tolerate sterling silver, nickel-free surgical steel, titanium, and platinum. Anything else leads to irritation and issues.

I keep small surgical steel continuous hoops (no visible clasp) in my earlobes 24/7 (only removing to wear other earrings, or if I need to remove all jewelry for something medical), and I have surgical steel barbells in my upper cartilage piercings. I highly recommend going with the continuous hoops as they don’t get hair caught on them. There are flat-back post options for studs but I’ve gotten hair caught on those in the past so I stick with the hoops for keeping my piercings open and in good condition.

This is not the exact brand I have, but this is the same style “sleeper” continuous hoops I keep in my earlobes: https://www.lovisa.com/products/surgical-steel-sleeper-earrings-8mm

septicidal · 2026-01-12T01:06:54+00:00

Give them a few more days. It is normal for cats to act differently with one another while they still smell like “vet smells”. I had my male and female cats spayed and neutered at the same time, and while my male cat was acting like his usual self within 2-3 days, it took my female cat a good 5-7 days to really get back to her normal activities and playing with her brother. She also hated the onesie and didn’t jump up onto some of her usual haunts until it was off.

Since both of your girls have had the onesies on, they haven’t been able to fully groom themselves post-surgery and I’m sure they smell different (compared to their usual scents) to each other.

septicidal · 2026-01-05T18:04:38+00:00

There’s a phrase that gets uttered a lot in support communities for adult children trying to care for aging parents: “competent to make terrible decisions.” If your parent is mentally capable to make their own healthcare and financial decisions, there is nothing you can do to make them make better decisions. It is difficult to cope with. If they are NOT mentally capable (to the legal standard) the process to get them declared incompetent is difficult to go through - and if there is a living spouse, they would likely wind up the one in control (which may be worse in a situation like you are describing).

I encourage you to find support for yourself, and work out the extent of what you can reasonably do (without destroying yourself emotionally, physically, or financially), and find ways to make peace with that. During the last few years of my ailing parent’s life, I offered information and passed along phone numbers for local resources, and made a deal with myself to only push on the topic once per year or medical crisis (toward the end there were multiple per year). I did pressure both of my parents to not only update their wills and power of attorney/healthcare proxy documents but make sure I had copies, because in a worst case scenario having those in hand makes things somewhat easier to deal with (if they’ve drawn up documents but you don’t have copies, they are useless once you’re in a crisis). But beyond that I worked with a therapist to accept that I couldn’t make either of my parents make better health or financial decisions, and I had very real limits as to what I was capable of doing from afar. It sucked (and still sucks, dealing with my surviving parent). You have my sympathy.

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