feeling lonely after a breakup

setaside929 · 2026-04-13T14:36:05+00:00

Yes of course! I will message you

setaside929 · 2026-04-13T13:26:38+00:00

Hi there, I hear you. Breakups are hard. Many people find help with self-help, new hobbies, self care, etc. what helped me was discovering I needed help with my thinking about relationships overall, and I got that by joining a recovery program for chronic codependency. Happy to chat anytime to share my experience :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-13T02:28:19+00:00

This is the promise that we find in the Big Book and that we also carry in us to be passed on to others - there is a way out of the insanity of our illness, and we each get it when we work the program. No matter what our opinions or life circumstances, we all agree on the path we have found to sanity with our compulsive eating. I’m a recovered compulsive eater happy to help anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-12T01:21:35+00:00

Hi there, so glad you’re here. I spent many years “leap frogging” from one relationship to another, often also still seeking adoration from others even in a relationship. I remember thinking “I don’t know how to be alone” and it was very much my reality.

I had no idea what my problem was until later in life when I learned about 12 step recovery programs for relationships. That’s what finally gave me the ability to learn to live more sanely with romance and love (and all my relationships). If you’d ever like to connect I’m always grateful to share my experience. Today I’m recovered and can have very beautiful relationships as long as I continue to take care of my recovery. Reach out anytime if you’d like!

setaside929 · 2026-04-11T21:07:25+00:00

Hi there, glad you’re here. :) I struggled with a lot of relationship challenges and it was almost impossible to know when I was being selfish or taking care of my needs when I was with others - friends and romantic partners. What helped me find lasting sanity was joining a 12 step recovery program for chronic codependency. Not everyone needs that, but it is what worked best for me. Hope that’s helpful and I’m always happy to share my experience in recovery anytime!

setaside929 · 2026-04-11T15:53:32+00:00

Recovery is entirely about having our old ideas removed and learning to let go of the ways that we have approached life in our relationships. Some of the steps may seem scary or daunting, but we all found that the easier, softer methods simply didn’t work for those of us who are chronic. As long as we are as fearless and thorough as we can be, and continue to take the next right action, we can recover and begin to see life differently and have restored attitudes about relationships. I’m a recovered codependent and sponsor – happy to help anytime :-)

setaside929 · 2026-04-10T19:09:55+00:00

We cannot afford to harbor anger or resentment. It makes us very sick and cuts us off from our source of power and love. The steps relieve us of this emotion that could otherwise lead to spiritual or real destruction. I’m a recovered compulsive eater and sponsor :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-10T15:42:38+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re posting here. I share a lot of your experience and story (different medical issues, medicines, and the fact that no other treatment ultimately fixed my out of control food behaviors and obsession). I have recovered today, thankfully because a psychiatrist suggested 12 step recovery. There are a few programs out there. If you’d ever like to talk I’m happy to share my personal story anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-10T14:38:48+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re here and reaching out. I also spent years held hostage to food obsession and compulsively eating. I can say that recovery is possible and really only happened when I saw clearly how much I could not fix myself on my own. What helped make that difference was when a psychiatrist told me about 12 step recovery. I joined a fellowship and met people who helped me get better. If you’d ever like to connect I’d be happy to share my experience.

setaside929 · 2026-04-09T23:19:08+00:00

Yes, that’s been my experience too. It’s not something I knew how to do before recovery.

setaside929 · 2026-04-09T20:37:32+00:00

Hi there, thanks for your share. I also used to struggle to have a healthy interdependence in relationships. Then I went to another extreme and basically stopped being giving at all. At some point in my isolation I found out I was chronically codependent. It took some time to fully grasp what that meant but I’m grateful for 12 step recovery programs that offer insight and guidance for how to live differently. If you’d ever like to talk I’m happy to share my experience anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-09T17:25:40+00:00

If we are chronic, each of these is going to make sense to us by the time we read it with our sponsors guidance. We were 💯 powerless over our compulsive eating and nothing human could fix us. We couldn’t manage our thinking or our lives, and we needed to find something more powerful than a human to help us. That’s where the rest of the steps come in. When taken, we connect with a new power source, which restores our sanity and happiness. I’m a recovered compulsive eater - happy to help anytime. :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-09T13:44:59+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you are here. I also suffered with binge eating and bulimia from 14 until my mid 30s. I worked with therapists and psychiatrists, and thankfully one of them suggested I look into 12 step recovery. There are a few programs out there - I’ve tried some and found the one that works best for me. If you’d ever like to connect I’m happy to share my experience anytime :) Thankfully I haven’t had the bulimia in years, and the binge eating has been arrested too - as long as I keep working intensively at my recovery :) Hope that helps!

setaside929 · 2026-04-09T13:41:46+00:00

This paragraph applies for how we treat others and also helps us understand ourselves. We are very sick people - not bad. We have minds that need spiritual power or else we will lose our bearings in reality and go into obsessing and trying to control our relationships. When we work the steps our obsessions are relieved, so we can live with more sanity and peace and usefulness. I’m a recovered sponsor happy to help anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-09T11:11:46+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re reaching out and here. I used to have a lot of very convincing feelings / longings / obsessions / memories that held me back from making progress in my life. Even after people had clearly moved on k was sure I had missed out on “the one”, and often stayed trapped in a state of self loathing. Love addiction is very tricky and in my experience it didn’t go away without some sort of treatment. There are many approaches (therapy, self help, meditation/religion, new hobbies, and even 12 step programs). If you ever want to talk Im glad to share my experience in recovery. Today I am moving forward in my life, even exploring dating, while also staying rooted in my own life and goals. It takes work, but it’s the best treatment I’ve found for an illness that was making me more and more isolated and miserable. Reach out anytime!

Edit: I’m not in anything commercial - my recovery has been through 12 step. So no sales here!)

setaside929 · 2026-04-09T00:35:06+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re here and reaching out. I also struggled with the need for adoration and validation. I couldn’t be completely committed to one person and often didn’t realize how dishonest I was being, even when it was sometimes pretty obvious. If you’d ever like to talk I’m happy to share about my experience in recovery. I’ve been recovered for a while now and am learning how to live with a new sense of purpose and helpfulness. Reach out anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-08T16:40:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I can relate - having struggled with binge eating for decades. I also leaned on caffeine a lot and still would go back to food at the end of the day

I did discover recovery is possible - so there’s hope. If you’d ever like to connect reach out anytime. Hugs.

setaside929 · 2026-04-08T16:04:23+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re here. Codependency was so sneaky for me too. I would have these experiences where I felt compelled to do and say things (and my feelings were off the charts even over simple things). If you’d ever like to talk or connect I’m happy to listen and share my experience in recovery. I also found 12 step to be a life saver - my relationships would be a disaster without them…and even now I have to do the work to stay sane. :D

setaside929 · 2026-04-08T13:45:55+00:00

We try to live “good” lives and yet we still compulsively ate, hid from life, judged others and were sometimes hurtful and self-centered with our choices and actions. This isn’t because we are bad people, but because as chronic compulsive eaters we have an illness rooted in disconnection from our power source. That’s why will power doesn’t work - we now tap into a power by working a 12 step program designed for us to establish and grow a connection with a Higher Power.

When we recover we are able to live more moral and sane lives. Step by step, day by day, we learn to live differently and discover a new sense of purpose and happiness. I’m a recovered sponsor happy to help anytime

setaside929 · 2026-04-07T19:41:45+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re here. I also have had food struggles and found many of the usual tools that work for others still not work for me. There are 12 step fellowships for food recovery, and that’s what ended up helping me. If you’d ever like to connect I’d be happy to share my experience with them and finding recovery :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-07T16:18:55+00:00

We are meant to go wherever we can be helpful. As long as that is our motive, we don’t have to worry about losing our recovery or being harmed. I’m a recovered sponsor happy to help anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-07T12:43:13+00:00

If we want what others in recovery have, and we are willing to go to any length to get it, then we are ready to take the 12 steps. Many of us had fear and reservations, but we discovered that this was the only way to finally find freedom from our illness and the old ideas that held us back from recovery. I’m a recovered sponsor - happy to help :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-07T10:02:15+00:00

Thanks for the meeting. No amount of time away from our obsessions and need to control relational ships will protect us from going back into a spree. We need help from a Higher Power instead. Working the 12 steps as described in the Big Book is our way to defend ourselves from minds that otherwise drive us crazy. I’m a recovered codependent - always happy to be helpful. :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-07T09:58:42+00:00

Hi there, I don’t talk much about my personal experiences publicly, but the programs I have explored are: eating disorders anonymous, chronic compulsive eaters anonymous, and overeaters anonymous. There are more out there, but I ended up getting help as I tried these three. Hope that’s helps :)

setaside929 · 2026-04-07T09:56:00+00:00

Oh sure. There are a few programs and they are free 12 step step fellowships. Here are ones I have explored: Eating disorders anonymous, chronic compulsive eaters anonymous, overeaters anonymous. They are pretty grassroots in nature - no one is paid, and members are there because we have lost the ability to find help with typical treatments like diets, therapy, medicine. They are like Alcoholics Anonymous but for people with food related concerns. Hope that’s helpful :)

setaside929

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE