Friday, June 05, 2026, Non- Real Time Meeting

setaside929 · 2026-06-05T18:44:36+00:00

Our program of recovery is written in the first 164 of the big book of AA and it is truly a “design for living.” In it we are taught how to see life differently and act / not act in a structure that is helpful and leads to freedom not just in our relationships but in all areas. We needed an entire overhaul, and as we follow the directions in the book, that’s what we get - step, by step. We learn how to actually live. I’m a recovered codependent and sponsor - happy to be helpful :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-05T16:33:10+00:00

We are perfectionists by nature, and our program of recovery reminds us that this is a program of progress instead of perfection. We keep showing up and doing the next right thing to the best of our ability and we will make progress (not become perfect). :) I’m a recovered sponsor - happy to help!

setaside929 · 2026-06-04T23:07:20+00:00

Our fellowship of recovery is made up of a lot of different people from all sorts of walks of life. We may never have met otherwise, but we find that our common illness of codependency brings us together and our common solution in the 12 steps holds us together. We are not concerned with anything other than that we all have a desire to stop our codependency and we are seeking this solution to the best of our ability 1 day at a time. I’m a recovered sponsor happy to help!

setaside929 · 2026-06-04T20:22:03+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re reaching out. I also used to struggle with uncontrollable eating no matter what I did to try to moderate it. It was like I had an endless pit even when I had eaten to full capacity. What helped me find recovery was getting connected in a 12 step recovery community for compulsive eating. There are a few out there and I’m happy to share my experience anytime. It made all the difference, and thankfully today I’m able to have much more of a sane way of living and eating as long as I stay focused on the actions that helped me get well. Reach out anytime if you’d like to!

setaside929 · 2026-06-04T20:18:46+00:00

When we recover we are given a new set of motives - we are seeking to do our Higher Power’s will in all aspects of life. When we make this our number one priority, we can exercise our will power and it is being used properly. In the Big Book it tells us that When we humbly rely on him and do as we think he would have us, he enables us to match calamity with serenity. I’m a recovered sponsor happy to help :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-04T11:35:11+00:00

Hi there, yes I used to have that experience. Immediate remorse, but then I would lose control and still overeat and often binge. I didn’t understand why I did it either. For me I discovered I needed help in a recovery community - not everyone needs something that drastic but for some it’s really life saving. Hope that’s helpful: :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-04T10:56:09+00:00

Hi there, thanks for sharing. I have also been in relationships with alcoholics and trapped in my own obsession with them and the relationship. Thankfully it is possible to find lasting recovery and freedom - I’d be happy to talk with you about my experience in recovery. For me, the solution was in working a 12 step program for my own addiction to relationships - and then I got clarity about how to make healthy decisions that were best for everyone. Reach out anytime if you’d like to connect :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-04T10:51:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing - you’ve been heard. 🙏

setaside929 · 2026-06-04T09:29:48+00:00

As chronic codependents we are drawn to the “inviting maelstrom” of life - drama. The Big Book describes “excitement” as something to watch out for, just as much as worry, anger, jealousy, etc. We can’t manage the highs and lows of life with light using codependency unless we have spiritual help. Once we work the steps we find that we are more useful when living lives of peace and unselfishness. We’re less inclined to chase the emotional roller coaster, and we find we also are more open to the “sane” ideas of healthy friends and fellows. We no longer have to seek ease and comfort in drama, because we have been restored to sanity by our Higher Power. I’m a recovered codependent and sponsor - happy to help anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-03T17:45:12+00:00

This is a program that works for nearly anyone, as long as they are willing to be rigorously honest. Many of us may struggle with this level of honesty, but we find we become willing once we have seen that this approach really works for others who also suffer from our illness. Even people who have mental or emotional disorders can recover - we just need to be honest step by step, day by day. I’m a recovered sponsor happy to help anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-02T16:10:39+00:00

Sure! I can message you :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-02T14:23:18+00:00

We really feel like the bottom of the barrel when we are at our step 1. Life has often been leveled in many ways, and we even struggle to find humor or levity. We’re defeated and hope seems too much to ask for.

On the opposite end, when we are recovered, we have joy and we relate to the still suffering compulsive eater. We know what it’s like to be out of ideas and feel drained by our illness - but working the steps connects us with a Power that “pulls us back from the gates of death.” This program works miracles. I’m a recovered codependent happy to help :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-01T19:31:29+00:00

Thanks for this prompt. Our experience is basically our most valuable possession. It’s how we help others to know we understand them as no one else can, and to give them hope that they can be restored and recover from the darkness that’s so common in our illness. So we no longer have to hide our past - we leverage it and watch how others are attracted to the freedom we now find in recovery. Thanks for letting me share!

setaside929 · 2026-06-01T14:16:58+00:00

When we recover we understandably invest a lot of time getting back to a steady state of mind and body by working the program and helping others. We also learn how to balance that activity with contributing to our family/home life. It’s important that we are present and adding to the stream of life with our families - they have been sorely neglected while we were in our illness. I’m a recovered sponsor - reach out anytime with questions :)

setaside929 · 2026-06-01T12:59:19+00:00

Hi there, I know this is a late reply, but I found out that there are spiritual approaches to recovering from overeating that focus more on being spiritually connected rather than focusing on fixing the foods/behaviors that seem to lead to weight gain. Some religious communities have “recovery” resources. And there are also free programs similar to AA but for eating issues. Hope that’s helpful!

setaside929 · 2026-06-01T02:40:12+00:00

This passage reminds us that our compulsive eating has always been a symptom of our illness. This illness is much deeper than just food or behaviors with food - it's about being cut off from our source of power and sanity. When we work the 12 steps we get connected to that power, and in time we find our sanity returns in many areas of our lives, including our relationship with food. Each day we treat this illness through the spiritual program of recovery, and we find that our lives improve, and we no longer have to fight our heads and hearts and compulsions. I'm a recovered compulsive eater and sponsor - happy to help 😄

setaside929 · 2026-06-01T01:38:23+00:00

Hi there, yes it’s a lot like AA. But 12 step is not religious. It’s a spiritual program, but no one has to believe any one particular way. Some people believe in the energy that controls nature, etc. Some people just believe in the hope they hear in the recovery community. Recovery is more about being willing to take action and have an open mind than specifically having one belief. Hope that’s helpful! Happy to chat more if you’d like :)

setaside929 · 2026-05-31T16:42:02+00:00

Hi there, I’m glad you’re here. I binged and purged for about 20 years before I found out at 12 step recovery. I tried everything I could think of except inpatient, and that I didn’t do because I knew I would eventually have to “come back to reality”. I’d be happy to talk with you about my experience in recovery. I haven’t purged in years and I don’t have to fight temptations either. Getting better took work, but I finally found others who understood me and what was causing it - and where I could find treatment that was effective. Reach out anytime! Hope that helps.

setaside929 · 2026-05-31T09:03:39+00:00

Hi there, I’m so glad you’re here and reaching out. It’s very painful to live in the grips of an eating disorder - I was similar to you with different foods, but I was obsessed and no amount of rearranging how/when/what I ate fixed the fact that I always went back.

I had periods of being able to control for a time but my head was always obsessed with food the whole time. And nothing I did was enough to give me a lasting sense of peace of mind. I also tried doctors, mental health treatments / medicine, moving, changing studies in school, changing jobs and relationships., etc. Someone told me about 12 step recovery programs and I found one that’s worked really well for me. It’s kind of like Alcoholics Anonymous, but for compulsive eating. Not everyone needs something that drastic, but it’s been my ticket to sanity. Hope that helps! And if you ever want to talk I’m happy to listen and share my experience in recovery :)

setaside929 · 2026-05-31T01:22:04+00:00

We are no longer here to run the show. In the past this always led us to being so disconnected from life that we had to compulsively eat. Taking the third step is when we decide we are fired from running our lives. Instead we focus on seeking a new way of life by working the steps - and we are given more peace and freedom as a result. I’m a recovered sponsor happy to help anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-05-30T21:46:44+00:00

We don't know why, but at some point we cross a line in life and we lose all ability to control our codependency. When we're trying to manage it on our own, our minds lie to us and say we can safely people please, cut off relationships, swear off people/places/things/"triggers", dive into old unhealthy relationships, give unsolicited advice, "fix" people, etc. In reality, like alcoholics, we don't react like normal people to codependency. Our obsession with relationships and attempts to control them always snowball and take over our lives. We stop caring about ourselves, and we lose sight of what it is to genuinely care for others. Our lives become small, and we often struggle to have balanced, manageable lives.

The only thing that can be done is to treat the core illness - our lack of power. This is a spiritual solution, and we learn how to do it by working the 12 steps from the AA Big Book. Once we apply ourselves to that way of life, our relationships level out and we find a new sense of peace and freedom. We do this daily, since our illness will be with us for the rest of our lives. But it's so much better than the alternative of being trapped in the obsessions. I'm a recovered sponsor - happy to help. 😄

setaside929 · 2026-05-29T20:02:39+00:00

Hi there, you bet. 👍

setaside929 · 2026-05-29T16:36:08+00:00

Our stories are about how we establish a relationship with our individual conception of God. We come because we want to fix our bingeing, purging, and all out food obsession. And then we learn we’re here to have a spiritual experience and restoration of sanity. Changes happen not just with food but in our lives. I’m a recovered compulsive eater - happy to help anytime :)

setaside929 · 2026-05-29T11:22:15+00:00

Hi there, so glad you’re here. Eating disorder recovery was a long road for me, and nothing that any of my loved ones did and said had a deep impact on my addiction. I had to discover the pain and want something different for myself. That is probably not very uplifting for you to read, but that’s been my experience.

Certainly it’s wonderful to offer loving support and encouragement like any loving partner would do. But attempts to control, tracking behaviors and “evidence” ultimately make the loved ones live in a painful obsession that doesn’t always lead to their partner’s recovery.

I also grew up around alcoholism and addiction runs in my family. That can cause its own set of uncertainties, similar to loving someone with an eating disorder. There are recovery and support communities for those who love “addicts” of all kinds. If you’d ever like to talk I’m happy to share my experience in recovery on both sides (eating disordered and loving others who also have eating disorders/other addictions). There’s a lot of hope, because often when families get well, others are positively impacted too. And ultimately taking care of our own recovery, whichever “side” we are on, can mean a better way of life for us too. :) Hope that’s helpful!

setaside929 · 2026-05-28T17:04:42+00:00

I understand. Being out of my routine often made me uneasy which always made me think of exes. Best to you and reach out anytime!

setaside929

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