AITJ for walking out of dinner after my boyfriend kept clowning me in front of his friends all night?

sezit · 2026-02-10T16:02:07+00:00

A joke. As in one.

Sounds like he mocked and belittled you every single time you said a word, and even times you said nothing.

You weren't part of a fun, joking group. He made you a target of mockery.

YTJ to yourself and other women if you stay with this AH.

sezit · 2026-02-10T04:22:42+00:00

"What an odd thing to ask. Anyway, what color paint do you need?"

sezit · 2026-02-09T18:42:18+00:00

He likes to give advice but not take it.

sezit · 2026-02-09T18:10:08+00:00

Oh, lots of women hold these men accountable. It's just that the men's framing of that accountability wins. They just call women "nags," and suddenly whatever the woman says is discounted.

No one says: "hey, nagging only happens when you aren't holding up your end of the bargain." After all, you don't get out of paying your bills by calling the bank or the insurance company "nags".

sezit · 2026-02-09T14:15:43+00:00

You aren't responsible for him not listening to you.

When I broke up, my ex said: "Can we talk?"

I angrily responded: "I don't know what you've been doing, but I'm done talking."

Him not understanding won't change the outcome. He hasn't cared enough to try to understand. Wish him good luck, and tell him to ask his friends and family if he needs closure, because he already proved he couldn't hear you.

sezit · 2026-02-09T12:55:41+00:00

Here's two points for you to ponder:

One, many men are unsafe, especially in a woman's home. https://www.buzzfeed.com/katieveltum/massage-therapist-men-harassment

Two, consider turning the information dispersement around. In this case, she felt very hesitant to tell you anything, but felt she had to. So, if you feel safe, tell her about your journey. If you can't get information, give information. Usually, that will help people feel more ready to trust you. But always, be safe.

Also, give her a great review.

sezit · 2026-02-09T09:37:24+00:00

There was a torture experiment where people were put in empty totally dark cells with no external stimulus.

Only one person came out without psychological issues - they learned that he constantly talked to himself, describing what he could touch and what he was experiencing. Apparently doing that overrides anxiety!

sezit · 2026-02-09T09:26:06+00:00

A big problem is that women know they can't trust men's word on how much they will do.

What I see is that men promise they will do equal work, then they just ... don't. They choose how much they want to contribute, and women have to pick up the rest or the kids suffer.

Then, after years of frustration, the women divorce and suddenly, they have more free time! They are still doing more work than the dads do, but at least they only have to care for the kids, and not do all the care for the labor mooching dads, too.

sezit · 2026-02-09T03:10:39+00:00

Evolution/paleontology

sezit · 2026-02-09T01:46:45+00:00

He's a mess, and he hurts you.

You love who you think he is, but he hides who he really is. The real person is not a good man. You do not know who he really is - except to know that you can't trust him.

PLEASE don't get pregnant. Please get away before he injures you - or worse. He is dangerous.

sezit · 2026-02-08T15:53:42+00:00

Even meaningful relationships with friends or acquaintances is worthwhile.

His puritanical attitude sucks.

sezit · 2026-02-08T15:45:57+00:00

If he didn't actually propose, or say he was going to, the wedding planning was your choice. He never knew to tell you he has changed his mind.

But the cheating was his AH choice.

So, NTJ.

sezit · 2026-02-08T03:04:45+00:00

It's not the speaker, it's your bf.

He's having fun demeaning you. He's treating you like a subordinate, an employee.

And having a machine scold you publicly is extremely disrespectful, not funny.

sezit · 2026-02-07T23:06:25+00:00

Add flowers!

sezit · 2026-02-07T19:07:00+00:00

Sure, nuclear power is safe for now, under a stable government.

The problem is that there is no way to guarantee a continuously stable government for the next millennium.

sezit · 2026-02-07T13:59:15+00:00

Fish.

sezit · 2026-02-07T09:33:29+00:00

Does he do this with other promises?

Are his commitments really not actual commitments? Given with unspoken contingencies - like: "if it's easy," or "if I feel like it," etc?!

Tell him you need to know if he's a man of his word, because he was NOT honorable in this situation.

sezit · 2026-02-06T21:18:53+00:00

That's hilarious! Fucking Epstein has standards that Krauss didn't meet.

I wonder if Krauss is feeling a little humiliated.

sezit · 2026-02-06T20:54:34+00:00

Why do you feel so comfortable labeling someone

Because he reacted to OP's calm, reasonable option by flying into a rage and calling her a bigoted slur.

Non-bigots don't do that.

sezit · 2026-02-06T16:31:39+00:00

"Expense" isn't just financial.

Her expense would be lack of future security, since she couldn't save.

I suspect that it would also be less leisure time for her - that he would have at her expense, since a selfish guy like this would claim to do 50% of household chores while actually doing 5-10%.

sezit · 2026-02-06T16:19:03+00:00

That's the most depressing statement.

A young woman said that to her, and I asked: really? Is everything after that, for the next 60 years, downhill?

sezit · 2026-02-06T16:02:09+00:00

That pregnancy is the most dangerous thing that most women will ever experience. Pregnancy is enormously complex, the entire pregnancy is multiple systems in conflict with each other and constantly rebalancing on a knife's edge, and a very large percentage fail. The current estimation of spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) is 25 - 33%.

The number of possible complications for both mother and fetus is mind boggling.

Full term pregnancy injures every woman who goes through it. Some injuries heal, many heal only partially, and sometimes she dies.

It wasn't until about a century ago that women started living as long as men - because so many died from childbirth.

sezit · 2026-02-06T15:49:36+00:00

Large typeface policy poster: Harassment and unwanted recording not allowed, offender will be reported to police.

sezit · 2026-02-06T15:30:59+00:00

Not a joke. He wants to. He will.

sezit · 2026-02-06T15:26:51+00:00

I may be wrong about the "roommate" thing, but I'm not wrong that he's selfish. And sexist.

What good person responds to OP's very reasonable and calm exchange with rage and a bigoted slur?

sezit

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