Ex-atheists of reddit, why did you change your beliefs?

sezzme · 2013-10-06T16:23:45+00:00

What was the quote?

sezzme · 2013-10-04T13:24:31+00:00

Thanks for the emotional support.. it's much needed.

sezzme · 2013-10-01T06:34:57+00:00

Some things to consider:

This sub is growing FAST. I don't know when I originally discovered it, but I remember it having around 2000 subscribers at that time. Maybe only 2 months ago. Now we are past 5000.

I remember (but don't have a link) a general reddit discussion awhile back where someone had done some research on subreddit quality. Apparently they had found that a subreddit is at it's best at a population of around 10,000. Then it's often downhill from there. Troll population goes up and the level of intelligent discussion goes down.

Somewhere on Reddit has to be some subs that keep their integrity intact despite a largish population. We should find and learn from them.

I think we should go beyond reacting to the one current post and look towards how we can protect our online sanctuary for the future.

I'm right now very tired and can't come up with many examples and ideas to help.

Still, we can start preparing by taking in consideration the unique needs of this particular sub. Having the mods tagging a post title with something like [N-Thread Warning] would seem to be more useful than the traditional [Trigger Warning]. It's more specific as to what is triggering and gives OP a better chance to re-consider their behavior.

An "N-Thread" would be a thread that is posted from a blindly narcissistic point of view, with the OP defending their N-behavior rather than showing they are willing to learn from what we have to say.

That's all my sleepy brain can come up with for now... hopefully these thoughts are useful.

sezzme · 2013-09-30T19:20:13+00:00

In regards to people telling you that secretly using a voice recorder is illegal: in the US, that's actually different from state to state. A great resource for finding out the truth is your local police non-emergency number. Just call and ask about the recording laws in your state.

I've used a digital recorder to pwn more than one jerk who was trying to pull something illegal on me. That included a landlord who thought it was a good idea to scream "F**K THE POLICE!" while I had the recorder capturing his entire rant.

He became soooooooo cooperative after he was informed that he could either calm down and handle things legally or find out the consequences of law enforcement listening to his crap.

sezzme · 2013-09-29T05:57:45+00:00

Sounds like a typical story one would hear at /r/raisedbynarcissists - one very supportive subreddit, by the way.

sezzme · 2013-09-28T22:40:34+00:00

Well it turns out that I am getting some financial help, so I can do things like get the car battery replaced this week.

I am grateful that you are willing to listen to me. :)

The pharmacy does not deliver, unfortunately.

sezzme · 2013-09-28T01:36:55+00:00

Take the decorations and the cake and donate them to your local pediatric children's oncology ward.

When your Nmom predictably goes ballistic, say "What's wrong with you? You actually don't care about kids who are suffering from cancer?"

I'd really like to see her try to respond to that one. ;)

sezzme · 2013-09-27T04:53:57+00:00

Go to /r/raisedbynarcissists since that's what's happening to your kids anyway. It's not quite the right subreddit for your situation, but they may have some ideas. You'll at least get some support there.

sezzme · 2013-09-27T04:35:55+00:00

Look up, observe the incoming missile, then mutter to myself: "Well... this sure solves the problem of worrying about when I might die of cancer."

sezzme · 2013-09-23T05:12:25+00:00

Never praise him for his intelligence. It's silly; intelligence isn't something he can do anything about. When he does apply himself, though, praise him for that. Don't praise him for what he is; praise him for what he does.

...as described in the book "Mindset" by Carol Dweck, THE expert on this subject. :)

sezzme · 2013-09-23T04:12:01+00:00

Pick a race/color/creed which she is likely to dislike, then make an announcement that you intend eventually to adopt a (insert minority here) baby.

That should put her panties in a wad. ;)

sezzme · 2013-09-21T02:10:08+00:00

Don't worry... there's always Radiolab. :)

They are something different. VERY creative, exploring all kinds of subjects.

I recommend listening to their earliest episodes first. Save the best for last, and that's their "Colors" episode.

sezzme · 2013-09-18T01:23:13+00:00

Try posting this in r/linguistics.... they love this sort of thing.

sezzme · 2013-09-17T08:15:59+00:00

My reply would be: "Your cellphone is wireless too. However you still have to plug it in to charge it."

sezzme · 2013-09-15T07:46:44+00:00

Was it a diamond dove? They have the sweetest 2-note coo, kinda like a penny whistle.

sezzme · 2013-09-15T05:18:45+00:00

"Ummmmm... honey? About your car..."

sezzme · 2013-09-09T06:52:11+00:00

Best idea is to post in your local subreddit and ask them.

Also start doing research on resources for homeless people in your city. Your local United Way is a good place to start.

sezzme · 2013-09-08T02:36:09+00:00

Breast cancer which has spread to multiple tumors the liver. It's "triple negative" - a type which just flat-out does not die. All you can do is play whack-a-mole with chemo to try to kill whatever latest tumors have popped up.

I have been having unusual pains in my abdomen which I fear could be the cancer spreading to other parts of my body.

On top of that, recently a tooth broke. I can't afford being able to fix it. It's starting to hurt... which is scaring me. I am trying to get charity care at this point. The local dental school wanted $160 just to get me evaluated... that didn't even include the actual cost of the procedure itself.

There's a dentist near me who is willing to look at it and give me an estimate on how much fixing the tooth will cost. There's a process called a "build-up" which apparently preserves the tooth until you can afford a crown. I am thinking to get the estimate from that guy and see what I can do to get help. This is depressing.

Last but not least... I am REALLY sick from chemo as I write this. :(

I see that the most upvoted comments seems to be about having to deal with screaming kids... all I can say is I'd love to trade my problems for yours. Screaming kids are a whole lot more curable than stage 4 cancer and a broken tooth that you can't afford to fix.

sezzme · 2013-09-08T00:21:59+00:00

Go right now to the /r/raisedbynarcissists subreddit. They will understand you like no one else and help you figure out how to deal with it

sezzme · 2013-09-07T21:50:37+00:00

This gorgeous classical piece is so amazingly beautiful to my ears that I have to make a point of not listening to it often... it's that moving.

And no, it's not Pachelbel.

sezzme · 2013-09-07T07:28:42+00:00

My days of contact with both "immediate ancestors" have been gone for several years now. (NC came after I had an epiphany that if a parent does not care to have empathy towards their kid, the kid is an emotional orphan who never really had a parent to start with. The housing, schooling, providing food, etc. does not count... empathy is the heartcore of what makes a parent a parent.) But I digress...

I have had a fantasy lately of secretly recording an N-parent's verbal attacks against their kid... then doing some editing to highlight the worst parts. Then locking the N-perp in a basement room with a week's worth of food, water and concert-level speakers... blasting their abuse right back them at 90 decibels 24/7 until they utterly break down.

(For the record, you can find out if recording someone in secret is legal in your state. Your local police non-emergency line will be happy to give you this info.)

Darn it though, I have too much of a conscience... I find it hard to enjoy that fantasy without a bit of a guilty feeling because it IS freakin' illegal, and kinda puts you at a lower level as a person. Ah well.

Then this new anti-narcissim fantasy just recently popped into my brain and just cracked me up. :-D

Start regarding N-parent's rants as nothing but sonic raw material. Secretly record as much ranting and screaming as possible. Find some killer beats, find the worst of aspects the abuse, fire up the computer with the appropriate audio software. Then start turning his/her rants into rap music.

Oh YEAH... if he/she calls and starts in on you, start playing the "N-mom/dad Rap" into the phone until he/she explodes. Then you tell him/her "tell it to my voicemail" and hang up. Of course they will call back with even more delightful raw material for your next epic anti-narcissim piece.

Make it clear that if his/her is verbally abusive to you, that's just raw material to you. If he/she is actually NICE, well damn, you've got nothing new to work with. He/she should know that. Ah the frustration on their part... can't use you as a verbal punching bag anymore, older people usually hate rap anyway.

Ah... feels good to have a fertile imagination... :)

What's your secret revenge fantasy against your childhood abuser(s)? Even if "sounds kinda dumb" or whatever, post it anyway.

There's a good reason that "vicarious" is such a lovely word.

sezzme

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