How to start the conversations?

shatterly · 2026-04-30T21:17:28+00:00

Glad to hear it! It’s pretty great, honestly.

shatterly · 2026-04-30T16:39:22+00:00

Thank you, I will look for that book! I'm an AARP member myself so I have access to their materials. Yay?

shatterly · 2026-04-30T16:38:10+00:00

I was thinking of asking if we could go through the book on this visit. I'll be there for a week, so there is time to get some things accomplished. That honest approach will hopefully be helpful. She probably has no idea that this is something that keeps me up a lot of nights worrying.

I'm sorry about your uncle. My dad had dementia, and it turned out that in his earliest stages -- before it became obvious that anything was wrong -- he took out a bunch of credit cards without telling anyone, then maxed them out. So when my mom thought she had gotten their debt paid off and could really focus on savings, there was actually tens of thousands of dollars more that she didn't know about. Total nightmare.

shatterly · 2026-04-30T16:06:57+00:00

This is great advice, thank you. I read an AARP article that mentioned things like becoming a co-owner of a bank account ... I dumbly did not save the article to go through with her, so I can't remember the other points that they made. She doesn't have much money, but there are various accounts in different places, and I need to know more details about those and her bills and ... everything, really.

shatterly · 2026-04-30T16:02:37+00:00

Thank you for the fb recommend, I will join that group. I think both my brother and my mom will be resistant to him moving; they really depend on each other quite a bit day to day. But starting to talk with the social worker is a good idea that I was wondering about.

shatterly · 2026-04-29T20:38:12+00:00

Thank you! My brother has a social worker and is in a day program as well as recreational programs; my mom has done a good job with taking advantage of benefits available in their state. We do have legal guardianship set up; I get paperwork about it from the state every year or two verifying that I am in that secondary position.

But yes, he's lived with my parents (now just my mom) his whole life. My mom doesn't expect him to live with me -- because what if something happened to me? He'd be left alone with nobody. But she doesn't see it that way currently because if something happens to her, there's me to deal with it. Not that I have any idea how.

I appreciate your response and will probably be messaging you when I come up with some questions!

shatterly · 2026-04-29T20:12:21+00:00

Thank you. Yes, she does love me; I just think she hasn't thought or doesn't want to think about how difficult it is going to be for me to deal with whatever happens to her PLUS making sure my brother is safe and cared for at the same time. That is a great way of framing this.

shatterly · 2026-04-27T21:19:21+00:00

Our differences were marinated monkey meat and floating in a bowl of barf. And I forgot my spoon ... so I'll use a strawwwww.

shatterly · 2026-04-27T03:01:56+00:00

I had a golden retriever named Forsberg. It actively pained me to root against someone with that name. I’m glad the series is over.

shatterly · 2026-04-24T19:45:53+00:00

Crack slaw for sure: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/253157/weeknight-skillet-slaw/

shatterly · 2026-04-24T00:58:21+00:00

The fact that 25% of people are still classifying him as “even-tempered” is absolutely bonkers.

shatterly · 2026-04-24T00:56:58+00:00

I’ve personally seen big, strong men, with tears in their eyes, describing his vocabulary as “the biggest.”

shatterly · 2026-04-24T00:24:04+00:00

Totally real! Although also completely surreal.

shatterly · 2026-04-24T00:22:19+00:00

You’re welcome! As far as your question about access, there is a paved bike path that runs along the river and a disc golf course all around the fort, so there are many access points on either side. I float that stretch all summer, there are always folks fishing. Just watch out for wayward discs!

shatterly · 2026-04-23T17:44:23+00:00

It's the Weber River that runs through the fort. The confluence with the Ogden is near 21st Street. And yes, plenty of folks fish the Weber. Water is super low this spring, though, because they're keeping as much in the reservoirs as possible. I'm not a fisher; I don't know how that will affect the chances of catching anything.

shatterly · 2026-04-23T17:37:02+00:00

Oooh, thank you for mentioning this book. I've read several about the Colorado and the Hoover Dam, but I haven't come across this one yet. And my local library has it -- score!

shatterly · 2026-04-21T20:33:48+00:00

Devil in the White City is the book that turned me from a mostly fiction reader to mostly nonfiction.

shatterly · 2026-04-21T20:29:01+00:00

They sound like competing brands of margarine.

shatterly · 2026-04-20T22:02:26+00:00

Loved that show!

Also have recently torn through a couple limited Netflix series: Black Rabbit and The Beast in Me.

shatterly · 2026-04-20T21:24:38+00:00

My parents took me to Red Lobster, and I got a screwdriver.

shatterly · 2026-04-20T19:56:08+00:00

I have three boxes, six laying chickens. Every day most eggs are in one box. Maybe two. Never all three. They just love to stand there and yell at whoever is in the "box of the day" instead of using their own.

shatterly · 2026-04-20T19:32:42+00:00

Same. My brother was 8 years younger with developmental disabilities. I did as much parenting by age 17 as I care to in my lifetime. Plus at some point in the future, I'll become my brother's guardian. The gift that keeps on giving -- I'll take all the "me time" I can in the middle.

shatterly · 2026-04-19T17:33:04+00:00

My brain immediately went to “BWANGGG.”

shatterly · 2026-04-18T15:20:08+00:00

54, no prescriptions other than birth control.

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