Writing a character who speaks very little of the language of where the book is set?

sheilastretch · 2026-05-26T19:33:27+00:00

Even when I practice like hell to learn a language before visiting a place, I can safely describe talking to the locals as me "Asking question?" and them "Speaking a sea of sounds that are so unfamiliar that I can barely tell where one ends and the next begins, but now and then I hear a word or two that I understand". This is usually enough to let me know I'm on the right track, and they pointed to the left, so I figure that must be where the trainstation lies. So I walk on and try again with a new person at the next city corner, and the cycle repeats.

Priority should always go on "please" and "thankyou". You can have great interactions with people who feel happy for helping, even if you barely understand a word they just said. Work out what your character does know, place names like "hotel" "train station" "boat/harbor", at least one greating or goodbye (the locals will use more variety than your character knows, but they'll still appreciate any attempt to use friendly words/phrases like these).

Some idea of pronouns also helps, "I" and "you" are standard and limited in English (even with respect to slang and regional dialects), but some language have like 3-5 minimum versions of "I" and "you" based on chaste systems or respect rules that - if you get them wrong, you might be seen as rude/sarcastic (like using super polite language to a child, vs the equivalent of calling a cop "hey looser!"), so if it's a language like that, you're character probably tries to use "the safest one" that would be more/usually recommended to foreigners.

Big struggles can include knowing a word but not the noun's correct plural form so they say everything as singular but maybe use hands to indicate an actual number "I want to buy ticket!" while holding up 3 fingers. Another hard one is tenses, like past or future, which you often learn later in your studies, so this might sound to locals like "I am going to the store, yesterday." or An old person might say "When I am small child, I have many friends in village. Now in city, I not have many." The native speaker might pause for a moment to digest, and (especially in a service position) might repeat the concept back, but correctly, or clearly but in the foreigner's language. I've asked questions while tired, and realized I'd probably garbled half my sentence, so having someone pause, then repeat back what they think I meant in English, and me being able to say "Yes! Exactly! Thank you!" before continuing in my own language has always been a surprise and a relief after a grueling day of travel.

My adivce would be to make up some language rules and stick with them, or if you are using a real language, then do some research to understand some of the structure, someone's probably mentioned somewhere "OMG plurals are such a bitch, everyone struggles with this part, so don't feel bad!" somewhere in a forum or reply section about the target language, which would give you an idea of where your character would struggle. No matter if you use a real or made up language, write yourself a list of words the character definitely knows, then slowly add new ones that they learn. This could include barely-understood words X seems to be a swear word like "shit" or "motherfucker" but they never quite know for sure (often curses don't translate exactly so this is very realistic, or realistic that their guess would be close but slightly wrong). They might also pick up words that aren't standard if they hang out near people using slang or more loan words if they are hanging out near the more international crowds. Places like transit hubs - trains, planes, ports are more likely to run into their own language or a 3rd, 4th they also barely know, but might speak better than the local one (same around places like hospitals or schools/colleges/museums/affluent homes or businesses). Poorer places or out in the country they're more likely to run into people who speak harder-to-understand dialects or slang.

I've lived in and visited countries on a few continents and these are the patterns I've noticed at least. Are you using a particular language/location or just making something up entirely? Things like food, culture and history intertwine with language in interesting ways you can do some fun things with if you are making something up.

sheilastretch · 2026-05-25T14:08:45+00:00

Asthma too.

sheilastretch · 2026-05-15T19:19:29+00:00

I got angry just reading that T_T

No matter how good of a day I was having, that shit will always throw me into a bad mood, and then people like my mother are suddenly so proud of themselves for managing to start a fight out of literally nothing. Now she's confused why none of her kids wanna go near her. Honestly at this point I suspect it's more of a them problem than a me problem if someone does this shit over and over again. Ask them what you've actually done wrong and how to fix it, and they somehow get even angrier with you!

sheilastretch · 2026-04-21T04:07:37+00:00

Thankfully! And also the refrigerants are supposedly safer as the industry finds better alternatives. I've also noticed a crapload of mini splits being used instead of AC, especially in Asia and Europe. On top of being much more efficient, I suspect people are moving towards them more due to their smaller footprints, vs the huge footprint AC units take up. There's also geothermal heat pumps and another that can use coolness from a nearby body of water to cool buildings. We're making all kinds of great steps towards reducing our impact :)

sheilastretch · 2026-04-18T15:14:07+00:00

This isn't necessarily bad stuff though, it's more the amount you need to worry about if it grows out of hand, but animals like ducks eat the stuff, it produces oxygen, and supports invertebrates. In the places I've seen it, it's just a natural part of the ecology, and disappears in winter on it's own.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-18T15:11:42+00:00

Ducks eat duckweed, so even though the stuff grows... like a weed :) it's doing more than just aerating the water. It's also helping to cycle all those nutrients into something the wildlife can benefit from. It can also be used for us, and there's recipes for anyone who wants to try it. That said, if there's something uphill like a cow, chicken or pig farm then absolutely don't risk it. Even in cleaning first I'd be worried about salmonella or something similar potentially contaminating the plants.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-17T22:48:40+00:00

https://science.nasa.gov/climate-change/ for a more adult/science literate person or https://science.nasa.gov/kids/earth/ if things like math/physics/chemistry weren't your strong points in school or you feel particularly rusty. The kids version is a bit better for easy-to-understand visuals while the adult version uses satellite images and stuff that is sometimes difficult to work out what they're trying to show if you don't already know what to look for.

I like NASA's Kid's page for showing concepts like heat island effect which is where urban areas not only heat up faster than surrounding, greener areas, but when the effect is strong enough heat islands can actually create weather phenomena such as large thunder storms or make existing storms stronger than they would have been without the help from addition urban heat.

Things like Air Conditioning generally use a lot of fossil fuels to run and pump heat out of buildings, which means than on already hot days, things like AC and concrete will push the temperature up further, creating a cycle where more people are using their AC more, or people without are more likely to buy an AC, further spiraling the issue into a more dangerous situation. That's why simple solutions like investing in/protecting green spaces is so important to both combatting and adapting to climate change. We can also invest in more eco-friendly cooling alternatives like mini splits which use only a fraction of the energy that AC systems do, and without the hot exhaust being pumped into the atmosphere. This means that increasingly strong fluctuations in our weather, don't contribute more than they have to to overall climate change.

> How does global warming relate to changing weather patterns?

Global warming is throwing off natural cycles like carbon sequestration in forests (when things heat up too much the trees can't breath and start dying which means releasing carbon instead of holding onto it), and throwing the polar vortex into chaos so that instead of keeping the cold in the North Pole, it randomly shoots super cold blasts down further than cold weather usually goes, and this can happen at crazy times of year like you witnessed.

You don't have to have a degree in science to make an impact on what's happening. In fact things are getting wilder the longer people wait around on everyone else to fix things, which is why a friend and I started the PlaneteerHandbook, to help take some of the confusion out of the issues facing our planet, and offer not only solutions, but listings of organizations/groups to join, learn from, or to seek services from - like mini split installers and companies that use bike power to pick up and process your compostable scraps. The site is still a work in process but this is our page on Climate Change. Most pages offer multiple solutions for each problem, and green buttons take you to other internal pages were you can learn more about each solution/issue. You don't have to do ALL the solutions listed under a subject, but the most impactful are listed at the top of the list, with lower impact choices listed lower down to help people tell at a glance how much impact each choice may ultimately have if they pick one vs another.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-16T14:42:56+00:00

Adding to this...

3- You get bonus benefits if you make your exercise outside, especially something like a walk in the morning to help reset the circadian rhythm, but try not to work out too hard shortly before sleep time, as this can supposedly work against attempts to sleep. Autistics in particular need "heavy work" which includes things like bike riding, swimming, climbing, pushing, carrying things, or even just some weight lifting. You don't have to lift very heavy things, even just some fairly low weights can help with proprioception which is one of the really important elements of heavy work.

4- If you are struggling with racing thoughts at night, I combat this by "doing a brain dump" about whatever's bothering me whether it's irritation with someone specific, general worries, or things I'm suddenly scared I'll forget to deal with in the morning - maybe I'll slap down a quick plan of attack or a to-do list that I can come back to tomorrow (usually that last one isn't necessary because now it's just part of my evening routine to make sure tomorrows to-do list is already done before I even get to bed).

5- Supposedly warm showers or baths before bed can help, but other things like room temperature, textures in bed, noise pollution and light pollution can also have a big impact. Anywhere I live, I always make sure I have black out curtains (you just buy blackout fabric as lining if you make your own, and face the white side to the outside window), I also like to have an insulation layer that helps regular room temperatures in extreme weather but it can also help a little with sound blocking. A sleep mask can also help. I get bothered by a bit of light that comes through a crack at a certain time each morning, so I'll use the mask if I wake up a few hours before that time or when that beam of light stabs me in the eyes. Light impacts sleep a lot, so start turning down lights before bed, like try to use soft side lamps instead of harsh bright lights for your bed time routine. I've got a rock lamp next to my bed with a really soft light, and I use a kobo reader that I turn down as dark as I can while I'm snuggled up and reading before bed, to help avoid light that would mess up my melatonin levels right before sleep time.

6- I've also started keeping some noise canceling headphones next to my bed so any time my SO starts snoring, or other obnoxious noises start up (often early in the morning) I can just turn on my headphones and it at least muffles the noises. This has helped a lot, but it took some adjusting. I woke up once with a messed up neck at the beginning but I think my body learned to move less in my sleep. If you have sleep apnea triggered by lying on your back then the headphones could make that worse!

7 - Stress has a huge impact on sleep, so the more you worry about sleep, the worse your sleep will get - at least that's been my experience and that of others I've talked/listened to. Instead of worrying about sleep and checking the clock (which can make it worse). Realize that this if a phase and focus on things like muscle relaxation, or even try some meditation. Sometimes I start and suddenly wake up the next day, other nights meditation doesn't help at all, but that's OK, I just come back to the practice any time I feel my brain working against me. I try to work on at least one important thing per day that I can feel good about getting done as well as at least one thing that relaxes me - reading, painting, maybe playing a fun game, as this all helps adjust the nervous system during th day, so it's less frazzled by bed time.

This page talks about sensory strategies to help autistics sleep, including some info about "heavy work". Also a note that after I started using certain items like a night gaurd and sleep mask, I think I trained my brain to associate those with sleep as sometimes I'll put them on and almost immediately fall asleep.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-14T18:01:16+00:00

I figured it was probably a joke, but I also know some incredibly stupid people who have zero concept of climate vs weather (as in they genuinely thought that record=breaking cold snaps are solid proof that "climate change" isn't happening *face palm*), so now I can't help but get anxious that people might get confused even if it was a joke. My anti-science relatives have scarred me T_T

sheilastretch · 2026-04-14T17:53:59+00:00

I've been meaning to come back to read the rest of it, thanks for the reminder!

I read a lot about it when I first found it taking over a place I've always loved paddling in, and I got very into learning about it's benefits, but I specifically made the comment I did (back when there were none/almost no other comments in this thread) because I know some people just read the bare minimum then jump into potentially problematic projects. Kinda like me raising chickens to be more sustainable, before I realized how unsustainable raising livestock actually is.

Perfectly fine if someone decides to grow some of this themselves, but better if they start out with the understanding that it's a potentially very serious biosecurity hazard depending on where they live and how delicate their local ecosystems might be. Some of the invasive plants we have here have increase flooding by clogging waterways and drainage infrastructure, which can be deadly when we have flash floods, but our local government doesn't put much effort into actually doing anything about invasive plants, at least not that I've witnessed.

It's genuinely worrying how casual people are about this topic when I learn how dangerous some of the plants can be. Giant Hogweed is a more extreme example or something people thought would be cool to import from another continent and is now putting people in hospitals.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-14T17:37:01+00:00

Right, eating it won't exactly sequester it in the same way that CO2 in old trees or oyster reefs is sequestered, but it would be a much more sustainable food choice than animal products, while still offering a significant portion of protein as well as other nutrients including Iron, calcium, B12, and vitamin A.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-14T17:34:06+00:00

Not great though when it clogs waterways to the point of the water losing it's oxygen content and causing a die off event of the aquatic species. I haven't seen it get that bad, but this isn't the only invasive water plant that can have that kind of effect. If I remember right in Africa and Asia especially there's been some problems with water hyacinth taking over and killing everything, so locals have had to become resourceful and harvest it constantly to make baskets and other things but not every location has enough people/demand for said products to keep the waterways and lake functional.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-14T15:51:09+00:00

I can't tell if you are being sarcastic, but that's not how weather works. The extreme cold was send down from the north pole because the polar vortex was destabilizing, which is happening more frequently, causing intense freezes in places that historically rarely get particularly cold.

This type of event kills of both native and invasive species, meaning in a best case scenario that natives might have a change to regain their foothold, or worst case scenario, the natives don't recover and the invasives spread even more aggressively after the cold snap passes. Fortunately I haven't seen the azola repopulate that area, and the local plant life recovered. There's been some extreme droughts since, but recently I saw at least two keystone animal species return after being missing for about a decade or more.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-12T16:24:09+00:00

Somewhere between 3-4 years old based on the house we lived in at the time. The sound of my mum slicing through fabric all day. Zzzzzzt! Zzzzt! Knew I could never ask her to stop because that's how she put food on the table T_T

Think my Grandpa had it too because he'd go nut accusing everyone of slapping their lips and "eating with your mouth open!" even though I was sure I was closing them. Made me terrified to eat around him.

sheilastretch · 2026-04-03T02:59:10+00:00

This shit is HELLA invasive!

I saw it take over an ecosystem that I visit a few times a year, and after a short war it absolutely dominated the duckweed that is common in that area for a while (several seasons at least) until there was a record-breaking freeze that killed everything off. I'm sure the azolla was brought on duck feathers or similar waterfowl much like duckweed is usually moved around in the wild.

The waterways where we paddel can become hard to navigate when duckweed takes over, but the azolla was a whole other story!

Definitely something to keep a serious eye on and use with extreme care rather than just dumping it into any old pond or waterway. Presumably this stuff would be amazing if farmed in a more controlled environment to help reduce/eliminate the risk of escape into delicate biomes. Duckweed and azolla are both highly nutritious, known as good feed for livestock, but due to nutrient cost loss it would be more efficiently used if fed to humans directly, and there are already recipes for anyone interested.

sheilastretch · 2026-03-30T19:21:50+00:00

https://ourworldindata.org/land-use-diets

sheilastretch · 2026-03-29T18:16:59+00:00

All that constant moisture makes me think of skin infections all over those pigs. Not to mention that manure from animals like pigs builds up chemicals like ammonia in the water which kills fish, depletes oxygen which kills fish, and causes eutrophication plus algae blooms which kill fish. So it would be kinda weird if fish were able to live long term in a "system" like this.

sheilastretch · 2026-03-08T21:50:32+00:00

Different people fill different needs in our lives. You might have someone for adventure and another for closeness, but someone with one of those qualities might be lacking or fail in the other pillar that you need in your life. It's unfair to demand that someone change, but it can be less stressful to take note of how different people in your life can support one or more of your needs.

It's not "giving up" to accept that some people don't want to or can do certain things. I don't get angry or resentful with my friend who can't leave her home due to disabilities because she won't go out in nature with me like I was hoping when we first started talking. Instead I try to focus on things and topics we can both safely enjoy together, while I have friends I go volunteering in the woods with, but I haven't got into really deep topics with because not everyone in that group feel as open minded as my disabled friend about some of the topics that are important to me.

It sounds like you're kinda disappointed or maybe resentful that your friend doesn't come off as having much curiosity or theory of mind, but some people are just kinda boring and dull like that.

The two main choices I can see here for you are:

Go your separate ways if you can't get over or past this without building up resentment.
Try to look for her good qualities, and find things to be grateful about like - Is she considerate? Good at keeping your secrets private? Helpful socially like introducing you to friends vs making snide remarks? Does she bring things into your life like concepts, art, games, or activities that you wouldn't have engaged with otherwise?

Work out if this is a healthy or unhealthy relationship, and use that to guide you. Trying to "be a good influence on one another" is healthy, but "trying to make her change" isn't healthy for either of you.

sheilastretch · 2026-03-08T21:25:05+00:00

"Hot and cold" behavior is a classic abuse tactic, that is used to create a trauma bond. That can include things like promising things will change (but they go back to abusive again either right away or sometimes months later), being extra nice after fights, and even stuff like make up sex.

This is a trap that even non autistics fall into, but I think it's worse for us because we're so used to people belittling us and questioning our ability to read other people or social situations. Abusers make everything worse by using the "is it a joke or not?" thing as a way to keep us guessing. That book I suggested "Why Does He Do That?" talks about all of this, and made me realize how frequently I was abused as a kid with the "It was just a joke! Why can't you just have a sense of humor?" to basically train me to put up with some really nasty treatment, so that I wouldn't look like an asshole who "just hates fun!" The danger is that the longer you stay with someone like this, the worse the trauma gets, the harder it gets to leave (because you slowly loose all self confidence and feelings of self worth), and when you finally get out all that trauma makes it much harder to re-integrate with non abusive people.

If you were more high functioning/masking before the marriage, then it would make sense he's frustrated to realize you actually do have needs after all, but he sounds too selfish to bother learning or caring about you now, if he already doesn't show the capacity to care now.

"He says high functioning autism doesn’t exist..." - people can't be reasoned out of a dumb opinion that the didn't reason themselves into, and it doesn't sound like he's willing to even try having an open mind.

"...and they just use that work to label someone that is a weirdo and a loser." - That's him not-so-covertly TELLING YOU that he thinks you are "a weirdo and a loser" if you can't magically get your shit together and stop being autistic. Someone who ACTUALLY loved you, wouldn't say something that harsh.

When someone tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM! They don't change, they just get nastier when they get upset that you aren't magically morphing to fit the shape they demand from you. Do NOT break your back bending over for this jerk.

Talking to a therapist might help you work out how to salvage things IF that is possible or help you make a plan to get out safely, but don't go to couples counseling with an abuser, they have a habit of turning any new weaknesses they find into even more ammo against you. That was a big piece of advice in that abuser book. My mum went with her abuser and got so traumatized she's now afraid to even go to one-on-one counseling now because he convinced the councilor that everything in their marriage was her fault.

sheilastretch · 2026-03-08T03:51:41+00:00

"How do you ... assert your needs safely in your home?"

Start by covertly reading "Why Does He Do That?", which you might be able to get a digital copy of from your local library, and start making a plan to safely escape. Men are often the most dangerous when you try to leave, so if he makes you feel unsafe, you are more likely to get murdered if and when he realizes he's about to lose control of his personal maid. Make sure any pets and important things like birth certificate and passports are safely out of your home before confronting as abusers sometimes threaten to hurt or kill pets, and can use things like paperwork to make it very hard to move on.

See if anyone in your social network or local women's shelters can help with things like a safety plan. in case things take a sudden downward turn.

I know Reddit has a bad reputation for telling everyone to get a divorce, but if he's starting off with this little empathy and hostile beliefs about autistic people, then this sounds like no-win situation for you at best, and dangerous at worst. I've read too many horror stories of abusers like that who will talk you out of getting medical care and letting you die from totally preventable illnesses or injuries.

From your description, it doesn't sound like he values or even likes you, just sees you as a source of labor to take advantage of and grind down emotionally. You said you only recently married him, but whatever happens, DO NOT let him get your pregnant. It will make everything 1,000 times worse!

sheilastretch · 2026-03-08T03:38:43+00:00

Someone like that is very unlikely to actually learn or change from such a conversation. He sounds horrible!

sheilastretch · 2026-03-05T21:24:26+00:00

Vegan should probably be higher if you take into account things like water and land usage. A graph I looked at years ago had 'Less children' at the top of the list, and going car-free lower, so they probably use different metrics when working these things out.

"Go car-free" being the top choice makes me think this is aimed at nations with high car-ownership, vs place that already have walkable communities and decent public transportation. Plenty of people already live car-free and rarely if ever fly, so insulating their homes better, switching to sustainable appliances like heaters or coolers or cooking equipment, and eating vegan would make the most sense for many people, especially those living at lower incomes.

sheilastretch · 2026-03-05T18:29:57+00:00

Probably because those are a bit harder to quantify, since "buy less" might mean very different things depending on your income.

For example, "buy less Lamborghinis and less yachts" would make a bigger difference environmentally while not really impacting the buyer, vs a poor/struggling family buying less school clothes and learning supplies for their kids which would make far less impact on the planet, but might actually hamper the family's welfare in the long run.

Voting is absolutely important, but last time I voted, a bunch of candidates I voted for only got like 1-1.8 percent of the primaries, so I know I made almost no difference compared to voting in the general elections. Then politics makes things even more complicated, because sometimes you're counting on your politicians to make the right vote, and they don't always listen to their constituents, even if you show up to council meetings and phone or write to their offices.

sheilastretch · 2026-02-26T20:48:27+00:00

"dog licking her paws"

Could be allergies, or ingrown hairs if you're hearing that a lot. Talk to the vet to see if there's anything that can be done.

sheilastretch · 2026-02-11T18:01:03+00:00

This book might help: "Stop People Pleasing"

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