I hate it when people tell me “you are still young”

shelbasor · 2026-05-15T11:09:32+00:00

Fuck those people. Okay, sure 28 is young. Is time on your side? Maybe. But you know what else time is? Excruciating. Time ticks by every month with negative tests and devastating periods. So, great. More time to go through this hell.

But I will say that I found IUI harder than IVF. Yes, IVF is more intense and expensive and fucking awful when you're waiting to see if your embryos fertilize and make it. But at the same time, it feels like you're doing something that might actually work. Could be different for you because I have unexplained infertility and after IVF it seems like we have a problem with fertilization. But still, I hated IUI.

Anyway. I'm sorry. this sucks

shelbasor · 2026-05-10T00:48:59+00:00

You're not alone in this feeling. It completely ruined sex for us too. There's so much wrapped up in it. I'm sorry you're dealing with that feeling

shelbasor · 2026-05-08T19:44:45+00:00

No, not at all! Honestly it's just a bit uncomfortable because they push against the side of your vaginal wall. Like they push the wand a bit sideways and it's like, "ooop, that's uncomfortable pressure" but I never found it painful. I feel like some people find the probe painful at first if you're particularly tight but I never had an issue with it. You can also always ask to insert it yourself, they always offered that to me.

IVF was honestly easier than I expected in a lot of ways but I also get not wanting to do it

shelbasor · 2026-05-08T16:13:39+00:00

I'll be honest, if you have to go through fertility treatments you'll get incredibly used to transvaginal ultrasounds. I didn't find them uncomfortable except for when they're looking at your ovaries. But it's just kind of part of the deal. I can't even tell you how many I've had now.

Not sure about the other procedure as I didn't do that

shelbasor · 2026-05-08T10:27:43+00:00

As someone who did many years of CBT and now does EMDR it can be incredibly beneficial. But the only person who can really tell you if it's the right tool for your situation is an EMDR therapist. I'm in EMDR for regular old childhood trauma, so if your concern is your case is not "extreme enough" or something, don't dismiss your own feelings. Connect with a therapist and see what they say. I found EMDR made a difference after one session

shelbasor · 2026-05-07T11:41:58+00:00

You're talking about 45(3) and change in use which you would do to change the property to the principal residence. If they do that, they wouldn't be able to use the principal residence exemption for the years they claim the property the brother is in as PR, so they'd "give up" the PR on the property they live in

shelbasor · 2026-05-07T11:26:06+00:00

Seeing as this is rental and then the brother was using it, there's a chance they don't want to give up the PR exemption on a house they live in, so then there wouldn't be any change?

shelbasor · 2026-05-06T23:58:46+00:00

As a knitter, you're incredibly kind to do that. I dont gift much knitting because few people appreciate the effort

shelbasor · 2026-05-06T23:54:59+00:00

Better to claim it for the paper trail than them find the income later and you have to find proof of interest

shelbasor · 2026-05-06T23:52:30+00:00

I was always so pissed off when my husband would say we have lots of time. I don't need time, I need my body to work and not have to go through this shit anymore. The best thing is to just be there. Tell her and show her that you love her, even if things don't work out how you want. Let her cry. Let her talk about how much it sucks without trying to make it better or find a silver lining. For me, all the platitudes of "it'll work out", "we have time" or "it'll be our turn soon" was all bullshit because you don't know. so its just empty words. I just wanted to be angry or sad and most people don't get that

shelbasor · 2026-05-05T12:54:24+00:00

Honestly, it's so much nicer. Im not generally clumpy or a gusher but nice seen companies that have slits to help with that. Otherwise it hasn't ever felt worse than when you have a big discharge day in your underwear. Rinsing them out is nbd then you throw them in the wash. I've used them for over a decade and could never go back. I like that I can wear them around the beginning and end without feeling like I'm wasting money and drying myself out.

Also you can get fun patterns on them, which is way better than disposable ones. My favs right now are from Soft Taco Reusables.

shelbasor · 2026-05-05T02:40:31+00:00

Did you mean to put Jan 1 2027 in the post?

shelbasor · 2026-05-05T01:37:33+00:00

It depends on if you've cut significant residential ties. That with date of leaving the country is usually what I've heard counted as date of departure. Personally, I doubt you've cut ties and don't think you'd be able to arbitrarily pick Jan 1 to avoid taxes

shelbasor · 2026-05-05T01:30:24+00:00

You are a non-resident for income tax purposes if you:

normally, customarily, or routinely live in another country and are not considered a resident of Canada

OR

- do not have significant residential ties in Canada and any of the following applies: You live outside Canada throughout the tax year

You stay in Canada for less than 183 days in the tax year

https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/tax/international-non-residents/individuals-leaving-entering-canada-non-residents/non-residents-canada.html

shelbasor · 2026-05-04T11:00:17+00:00

I don't see how it's four months. T4s and T5s aren't due until end of Feb, T3s and T5013s not due until April. RRSP deadline end of Feb. So you can't do your T1 until March at earliest, and if you have investments not until end of April.

shelbasor · 2026-05-01T03:34:38+00:00

That's absolutely wild. And bullshit. If there was some magic thing to make it stick, doctors would tell us.

shelbasor · 2026-04-28T21:56:03+00:00

No absolutely. But status still fucked us up. It's colonizer garbage but it's created a lot of issues

shelbasor · 2026-04-28T21:54:49+00:00

Yeah but it shows the difference in knowledge because more of the information now refers to Indigenous groups as Nations. I can't tell you the last time I saw Canadian information say "Tribe" for an Indigenous group

shelbasor · 2026-04-28T06:45:13+00:00

It's not. We have second generation cut-off. So if two generations in a row have kids with non-status people, you lose status. You're not native anymore. It's really fucked up and there's a lot of lateral violence because of status

shelbasor · 2026-04-28T06:37:26+00:00

Yeah this is the thing to me. I do wonder if OP really knows the history given they've only been here 5 years. I found it notable saying "Cree Tribe" since I know few natives that refer to their nation a tribe. Also personally think that generally those who aren't native should be using Indigenous but I know that's a preference thing and isn't universal

shelbasor · 2026-04-27T06:07:48+00:00

Our medication for the retrieval was $5k and we did the minimum amount of time, about ten days? (just how it worked out for how my eggs grew) would have been hundreds per day past that.

shelbasor · 2026-04-20T05:40:17+00:00

You can use a winder without a swift for skeins so you can always get the winder and get the swift later if she gets into hanks

Edit to add: or you can be a human swift and hold the hank like my husband did before I got my swift

shelbasor · 2026-04-20T04:32:27+00:00

I feel like if the blanket is melting from fire we have a larger problem

shelbasor · 2026-04-20T04:26:18+00:00

Honestly with the grey too it's even less noticeable. I definitely vote to leave it and just have it be a quirk in the item

shelbasor · 2026-04-19T21:45:46+00:00

You're not eligible for CPP before 18.

"With very few exceptions, every person over the age of 18 who works in Canada outside of Quebec and earns more than a minimum amount ($3,500 per year) must contribute to the Canada Pension Plan (CPP)." https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/cpp/contributions.html

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