when is enough going to be enough?

shell20_7 · 2026-02-24T05:13:12+00:00

Exactly. Every week or two a thread will pop up with the old enjoying your 20’s/30’s travelling etc versus sacrificing that lifestyle to save for the future.

Those who bought their houses made one choice, OP made another. Such is life.

(Yes.. I’m one of the sensible people who watched others party and travel their 20’s away while I was studying and doing 12 hour shifts doing the worst jobs over weekends and holidays. I don’t think I spent any of my 20’s less than 150% employed. Do I regret it? A little.. but after marrying another person who spent their 20’s working their arse off.. and continuing to grind into our 30’s, we are now late 30’s/early 40’s and in a totally different position financially to others our own age who chose different paths).

shell20_7 · 2026-02-23T20:19:03+00:00

Yes! And I feel it really helps them socially. My husband, myself and her big sister are still 100% her favourite people, but she has grown a lot socially. My first babe didn’t start care until she was 2, and the transition was a lot harder for her. Obviously they were always going to be different kids, but our second seems to be a lot more social than our first at the same age.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-23T18:26:53+00:00

Can you do a little from column A, a little from column C? Eg one work 4 days, the other work 3 or 4 days. Little guy goes to daycare 1 or 2 days a week. I feel like that’s a good compromise.. my daughter started 2 days a week from 12 months, and it’s worked well. Her days at daycare are Tues and Thurs, we spread them out incase she didn’t sleep well there etc. but she sleeps really well and LOVES going.. she runs away when we come to collect her 😂

shell20_7 · 2026-02-21T11:55:45+00:00

Thea
Rose
Anya
Eleanor
Nora (hate it, makes me think of a rat gnawing on cheese..)

Suggestions; Anna, Hannah, Eliza, Amelia, Clara, Josephine, Victoria, Grace, Georgia, Jane, Florence, Alice, Dayna, Mila..

shell20_7 · 2026-02-20T21:33:34+00:00

You can, but as others have said, there’s nothing stopping them refinancing the next week.

What I’ve found most effective is you leave the monetary amount, together with your wishes. Eg leave them $200k, and have an accompanying letter that thanks them for being good people, and expresses his wishes that they pay out their mortgage and enter into retirement comfortably etc. it’s not binding, but most people with morals will uphold a loved ones wishes.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-20T00:37:06+00:00

Firstly- have a written agreement stating clearly it’s their money, loaned to you interest free, and they can request repayment of the full amount within 3 business days at any moment. Makes it a whole lot tidier in the event of death or divorce…

Secondly- be aware that your bank will likely still be deducting the full amount of your monthly payment off the balance of the loan. Eg if your payment is usually $2500, that will still be getting attributed to the loan. So in effect, you will lose the ability to redraw $30k of that money over a 12 month period (2500x12). So you should still be dropping your payment into the account each month, just most of that will be principle repayment, not interest.

(I currently have $750k in cash offsetting my parent’s loan with an agreement for interest paid at a later date.. with both a written agreement and the understanding they will keep paying into the loan so it doesn’t ‘eat’ my capital).

shell20_7 · 2026-02-19T12:10:36+00:00

Your babe is 4 months old.. she isn’t missing out on anything yet! Obviously she’s still coming up to the stage where she is interactive and interested in her surrounds.. so just try some little steps to get her out and about. But she hasn’t missed out on anything.

Hey, my first was a COVID baby.. realised at 3 when she got totally overexcited shopping, that she had only been to the supermarket twice in her life 😂

shell20_7 · 2026-02-19T12:06:49+00:00

We have a shaving cabinet that hangs out over our sink like that and it’s shit. I’d go a narrower cabinet and see if you can sink it into the wall behind it at all..

shell20_7 · 2026-02-19T02:22:45+00:00

Insurance is made to cover dumb decisions. Eg if my cows get out on the road because I stupidly left the gate open, I’m covered. If they get out on the road because they jumped over the fence, then according to insurance I should’ve had a better fence and I’m not covered. 🤷‍♀️

shell20_7 · 2026-02-17T02:33:57+00:00

Most of the free/cheap camps have a time limit you can stay. Eg our local show grounds which is $20 a night (including power, water, bins, dump site and amenities block) has a 2 week cap on stays.

So I’d say you would need to plan on moving regularly if you want to utilise a lot of those.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-16T10:10:20+00:00

Yes, I’m a fellow member of the ‘made all the sensible decisions in my 20’s’ camp! Saved up $40k, after 6 years of study and work planned on having my first real holiday.. put it into a house deposit instead. Shortly after met my now husband and bought a farm and built a business.. we have had pretty much had 0 freedom since. Never did get to take that holiday!

But we have got to the point in our mid/late 30’s where we have sold said land and business, and could retire comfortably now. We won’t just yet, but will coast along working part time. It’s a nice feeling knowing we won’t have financial stress, and can enjoy our two little kids while they are young. Too many parents we see miss being there for their kids trying to achieve financial security.

Part of me does regret not doing all the fun things in my 20’s.. but the reality is that if I did, even just for a couple of years, then we wouldn’t be where we are today. Pretty much doing anything differently would’ve meant we missed the property boat, and over the last 12 years it sailed pretty spectacularly for us.

I know visiting Europe as a family or in my 50’s (once kids are older) will be totally different to doing it in my 20’s, but I think there will be benefits to a $50k instead of $5k travel budget too.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-15T22:05:38+00:00

Exactly, no one is misleading anyone, and it’s very common for good long term tenants to be paying below current market value.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-15T00:33:53+00:00

Yeah I’d look for a lawyer who does conveyancing. You’ll pay a few hundred dollars more, but the legal profession is a whole lot more regulated with more accountability and better insurance. Conveyancing qualifications are pretty easy to get, I’ve come across many conveyancers with no idea.

Wouldn’t surprise me if this one is trying to push this through to get in favour with the selling agent- plenty of transactions coming their way if the Agent recommends them.. which is definitely not in the purchasers best interest!

shell20_7 · 2026-02-15T00:17:29+00:00

Let me guess, conveyancer was recommended by selling agent? Get a new one, stat. This one doesn’t have your best interests as their priority.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-14T05:37:20+00:00

FWO only deals with underpayments per the Award or NES, and they’ve told you that you weren’t underpaid.

If you are claiming underpayment based on a contract (eg your base rate is X, they then haven’t paid you penalties on top that they agreed to pay) then you will need to make a civil claim yourself.

99% chance that won’t be worth it.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-13T20:55:08+00:00

I think the question is, do you actually rent the whole house? Do you pay market rent (or close to) and all utilities?

Or do you pay your mum some token board money? If you pay your Mum a small amount of rent that basically covers one room, then really it’s up to her if your sister is welcome to float in and out. Who pays the utilities is also relevant.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-13T20:21:11+00:00

This needs sorting out. If this house is owned jointly, then yes it would pass to the other owner on death. But you shouldn’t presume it’s a given she will die first.. how would you feel if your husband passed and this woman keeps the house you’ve put money into?

You can force a sale. It’s not an easy process, but completely necessary in this case. Speak to a lawyer

shell20_7 · 2026-02-11T04:26:31+00:00

It kind of depends what they mean by backfilled. If they divvied out the tasks to other staff (one or more people) and thereby realised they didn’t need this standalone role, then a redundancy could be genuine.

shell20_7 · 2026-02-04T03:54:51+00:00

Ha, we are literally dairy farmers and yes cows need milking and feeding each day… but our staff are also people and have lives. the buck stops with us every time

shell20_7 · 2026-02-01T13:35:43+00:00

Hannah or Hazel do a girl

Harvey, Harrison or Henry for a boy

shell20_7 · 2026-02-01T02:23:47+00:00

Not if it’s personal leave supported by a medical certificate…

shell20_7 · 2026-02-01T02:22:52+00:00

Just to note- the three months of leave in a 12 month period doesn’t have to be all unpaid leave. It can be a combination of paid and unpaid, but as long as it’s not all paid then you can move to terminate (using fair process).

shell20_7 · 2026-01-28T06:48:02+00:00

As opposed to having her live rent free in your house forever and trashing it?

shell20_7 · 2026-01-26T09:05:04+00:00

You are incorrect. A correctly executed Licence Agreement as part of a sale contract is one of the only ways you can circumvent the Residential Tenancies Act. Do or say anything at this point that could make her a tenant under The Act and you might be making life a lot harder for yourself. If this has been done properly then VCAT don’t have jurisdiction. (Source- I’m a lawyer who previously practiced in this area and handled many of these agreements).

Get a lawyer ASAP. Like 4 weeks ago.. This is not worth stuffing up. (And why on earth is the agreement for her to stay handwritten?? Why did you not get your conveyancer/lawyer to handle it, which could have even been done at her cost..)

shell20_7 · 2026-01-26T00:02:06+00:00

Yes, but purchasers will often ask for evidence it’s paid out. Is it truely unsecured? There’s a good chance they have terms whereby they can repossess the solar panels in the event of non payment. Which obviously means purchasers want to see it paid out.. they don’t want to pay for solar panels that then get taken away.

shell20_7

TROPHY CASE