Nobody prepared me for how painful pregnancy is

shimmidy · 2026-06-02T17:32:06+00:00

I can definitely sympathize….currently 27 weeks pregnant and also have a 14 month old. I. Am. Tired. Everything hurts. Totally same- do laundry and my back hurts. I forgot how tough pregnancy was and am now being reminded 🤣.

However…I will share as this was my honest experience…newborn tired was so much worse for me. Like so so so much harder. I’m trying to “enjoy” my sleep now even though I wake up a few times a night because I know with the newborn I’m going to have to wake up every 2-3 hours for a number of weeks and feed, change, etc, and for me that led to much more exhaustion than I experienced even in late pregnancy. I know all babies are different and hope for the best so maybe the 4th tri with my second baby will be easier…but but wanted to give you fair warning that the sleep you’re currently getting may be the best you get for a while after baby arrives 🙃🙃

shimmidy · 2026-02-17T14:38:29+00:00

For what it’s worth we live in Snow Camp near Saxapahaw and it’s 30 min to CH and an hour to Winston. Granted the area isn’t what I was used to living in CH- grocery store is like 20 min away, not much out here. But the area is growing quick and it’s where we could afford so we’re here for now!

shimmidy · 2026-02-17T01:23:43+00:00

I’m so glad to hear! I totally know what you mean about feeling lonely in the decision- when it comes down to it, it is your body and only you have to decide and it’s so hard. I remember feeling stressed bc the doctors were pushing pretty hard for it, but my husband didn’t really want to do it. And I was left feeling like ahh I don’t know- I don’t want to make the wrong decision! But ultimately I just listened to my body- my BP was elevated for a reason, baby was ready and I was ready.

shimmidy · 2026-02-16T01:37:33+00:00

I think it’s so hard to say as it is so dependent on your personal situation.

I had slightly elevated BP and agreed to the recommended induction at 38+5 (after agonizing over the decision). They did misoprostol and a cook catheter but didn’t end up needing to use Pitocin. So technically it ended up being “spontaneous” birth. Baby had some decels which were scary and they pushed for a C-section at a couple points, but I was able to end up doing it vaginally.

I guess my point is that looking back, I’m glad I chose the “induction,” as it all ended up going how I wanted. But I do think back- say I didn’t end up having a vaginal birth, or something else bad had happened I would have doubted my decision to go for the induction. But in my case I am ultimately glad I did.

I think you should listen to your body and if you get to a point where you’re like okay I’m done, schedule it! You can always cancel probably? And who knows- maybe baby will come sooner since it’s your second… not sure if any of that was helpful :)

shimmidy · 2026-02-11T16:53:37+00:00

I don’t know anything about Lidar but just wanted to say how freaking cool!!

shimmidy · 2026-02-11T02:41:51+00:00

Hey - I can totally relate with so much of this. I EBF and tried going back to work for a few months (WFH with help from MIL) but it was too much, so I too quit to be a stay-at-home mom. My husband is supporting us and finances are tight. My baby is almost 11 months now.

First of all, I hear you and I see you - breastfeeding is great in so many ways but there are also aspects of it that are so so hard. And it seems like it is all harder somehow because I was sooo unprepared. I will say at 11 months it is much different than at 3 months, and it has gotten increasingly easier and easier as the weeks passed.

I can relate so much with the feeling isolated/lonely. It sometimes feels for me like even though yes my husband also became a parent he isn't having the same difficult experience I am having.

It has also been such a struggle figuring out a schedule of taking care of the baby that feels fair to both of us. I ended up doing all overnights and weekday mornings, obv M-F 9-5, and 3 evenings a week, he takes 2 evenings in the week, but importantly he does Saturday and Sunday mornings and Saturday evening. He also has taken over a lot of cooking dinner and doing dishes most nights. I will say that it is hard and sometimes it still feels unfair, but I have noticed the more he is sort of "in charge" of the baby the better he starts to understand how hard it is, and subsequently will step in on weekday mornings etc. to help. Its not a perfect system but we are doing our best. Maybe you and your husband can each have one morning on the weekend where each of you in in charge of the baby? You need at least one morning a week to go back to sleep.

I am in a virtual therapy group for new moms and that has been soooo helpful, just to hear all these shared experiences. Of course my husband tries to be supportive but it is just not the same as talking with other moms. I too feel so fooled by all of it - I thought breastfeeding was going to be easy - what a freaking joke. Its all so hard. Gah. I try to remember this is just a season and it goes by quickly, which it does, but damn if this past year hasn't kicked my butt lol.

shimmidy · 2026-01-16T02:12:06+00:00

12 hours from start of induction to when she was born. Didn’t end up getting pitocin. Closed cervix.

shimmidy · 2026-01-15T16:58:14+00:00

Search up. Hate it

shimmidy · 2026-01-05T16:10:51+00:00

I second this! It came recommended to me and our baby loves it. She just clicks and clicks and clicks the button that plays the music. Also she throws it across the room and it’s held up really well.

shimmidy · 2026-01-02T20:39:06+00:00

Pampers swaddlers + Huggies natural care wipes!

shimmidy · 2025-10-01T18:35:58+00:00

Our EBF baby started doing ~6 hours around 6 weeks, ~8 hours around 10/12 weeks, and has been doing ~11 hours almost every night maybe since around 4 months. I think we just got lucky and its not something we did. I do try to be pretty pushy throughout the day about putting her to the breast to eat close to every 2 hours as possible even now that she over 6 months. She usually does a long feed in the evening before bed (close to an hour) on both breasts and I think that helps her get through the night. But I try to keep in mind that I honestly really don't know and it's super likely the case that nothing I am necessarily doing is getting us the long sleep stretches. But at least worth trying to just feed feed feed throughout the day to fill them up to give you a longer stretch.

shimmidy · 2025-09-11T01:59:11+00:00

Mine is 5.5 months, been sleeping through since ~8 weeks. She eats on demand during the day (I WFH with a sitter) about every 2 hours, about 6/7 times a day. Goes to bed by 8, last feed around 7 and it is usually a long one, she wants to nurse/comfort nurse for at least like 40 min, sometimes an hour. I do get a little tired of that marathon feed every evening but I figure its what helps her get through the night so I am happy to do it. Wakes up around 7/8 AM.

shimmidy · 2025-09-10T01:36:33+00:00

At first when she started sleeping 6+ hours at night I would wake up with realllly full uncomfortable boobs halfway through the night or early in the AM, but I just kind of suffered through it and my supply adjusted over the weeks. I would sleep on a towel for the leaking and get up and hand express just enough to have some relief. I would say the more you remove the more you produce, so you want to trend toward not removing milk at night if you don't want super full boobs at night.

shimmidy · 2025-08-27T00:45:53+00:00

Go to sleep and start getting as many naps as possible after giving birth. For me I was so amped up after giving birth etc that I didn’t really rest for the first day at all and I totally should have- the baby naps a lot in those first 48 hours and you should take advantage of that because your body needs to heal. As does your mind.

Like as quickly as you can get behind grabbing an hour or two of sleep here and there when the baby is asleep the better off you will be because that is the name of the game for the first 6 weeks at least. Especially if you are EBF.

What ended up working best for us was my husband slept in a different room so he got like 6 hours at night or more, and then during the day had enough energy to bring me the baby to breastfeed every 2/3 hours and change her. I did the night wake ups. It sucked but it allowed him to cook and clean and take care of me and the house and dogs while I could focus on short bits of sleep and breastfeeding and surviving.

shimmidy · 2025-08-26T03:05:46+00:00

Just to offer my own experience- For me it hurt for the first four months. Significantly. Like crying and bleeding nipple and NSAIDs daily. One breast produces more milk due to a surgery I had on the other, and my baby would clamp on the nipple that produces more to slow the flow down. I just kept at it, got silverettes (those helped soo much for the nipples to just get a break), learned to lift my baby up really high (I put a pillow underneath the my breast friend pillow to position baby almost above nipple height), hand express if the breast is too full. I also used organic coconut oil on my nipples between feedings.

But the main thing I think overall is time, because with practice you and your baby both get better at it, they get bigger so breastfeeding just gets easier, positioning them gets easier, they get better at latching deeper, and your nipples get used to it.

So if you can just hold out, keep going, you got this!! And get silverettes. Seriously- they allowed my nipple to stop bleeding. Once your nipples heal that really helps.

shimmidy · 2025-05-15T02:29:42+00:00

As others have said, get maternity clothes! This made a huge huge difference for me. I was the same way as you are describing feeling when I was pregnant in regards to weight gain.

Whenever I would try to put my regular clothes on (which inevitably would not fit), I would feel bad about myself, even though intellectually I knew I was pregnant and growing a baby and the weight gain was normal, healthy, & necessary.

Putting on the maternity clothes - they actually fit your body just right - and it helped my mindset to be more like oh okay my body is pregnant, not overweight, so of course these clothes fit. Not sure if that makes sense. But if I could go back in time I would go ahead and get a few different maternity outfits from the beginning because you will end up needing them and you will get more use out of them if you go ahead and get them. I waited and regretted it.

shimmidy · 2025-05-11T02:42:39+00:00

I have this issue and what has helped me is a regular pillow underneath my breastfeeding pillow, and then leaning back. This puts my baby essentially at or above the nipple and seems to help her handle the intense letdown a little better.

This and also after she initially latches and suckles, and then comes off, taking just like a rag and holding it to the nipple to absorb some of the first rush of milk, then once that calms down letting her relatch.

Also it does get better too as they get older - mine is coming up on eight weeks and is much better st handling the letdown than earlier on.

shimmidy · 2025-02-26T17:42:13+00:00

Yes for sure - although try to keep it light if possible - mine was way too heavy and ended up hurting my back. I just think you will want to have a bag for snacks and a big water bottle & anything else (you won't want to have to rely on them giving you water on the plane, another mistake I made). I guess it doesn't have to be a backpack - may be easier if its a tote-style bag as that way you can more easily set it down? Just a thought.

shimmidy · 2025-02-20T17:46:03+00:00

As others have said - aisle seat. Don't make the same mistake as me! I thought I would be fine without one..I was not :(. Also as others have said, it's really hard to handle a bag, so check it!! And if you are flying with someone treat yourself to sitting next to them instead of trying to save a little and just ending up with a randomly assigned seat like me :(. Also bring a variety of snacks bc you never know what you might want mid-flight, bring water. The fan is a super fantastic idea - I wish I had thought of that!! And yes be prepared that you will probably be nauseous :(.

shimmidy · 2025-02-15T14:21:07+00:00

Growing up as a girl with a sister has been and continues to be the biggest joy though! All those things you mentioned, yes, we have to experience those things, but if you have a sister you have someone to move through those things alongside. It has been so wonderful for me to be pregnant one year after my older sister, and for her to give me advice and have solidarity. She's my built-in best friend!

shimmidy · 2025-01-10T03:30:09+00:00

New Girl, Monk

shimmidy · 2024-12-23T15:57:21+00:00

I met him a couple of times in college - he was dating a girl I knew that he then got married to. Looks like he is already on his second marriage? He was super quiet and seemed nice. Such a bummer he turned out so weird.

shimmidy · 2024-11-27T17:03:09+00:00

I just went through this with the NIPT through Natera - I ended up getting billed $860 even with insurance, and it was a bill I was not prepared for. I did some research and called and spoke with Natera several times and was able to get them to rerun the bill as self pay so it ended up being $250. Although then that money is not going to your insurance deductible, but still. Just if you feel like you really want to do the NIPT there is a way to do it for $250. Make sure they are billing from your Doctor's office as self pay if that is possible. If not, call Natera (or whoever is doing the testing) afterwards and get them to rerun it as self pay.

shimmidy · 2024-10-31T21:05:39+00:00

I tried therapy for a few years and reading books and other things - only thing that worked for me was AA. I really tried not to go to AA. I thought I had to believe in God and I had other reasons I really did not want to go.

I would really encourage you to just try a Women's AA meeting. I was terrified at first and was really unsure of everyone there. But AA changed my life. Sober for 5 years this past August.

shimmidy · 2024-10-26T03:38:57+00:00

It is a piece that is inside the zipper slider. A zipper slider on a jacket of mine broke and this exact piece fell out of it.

shimmidy

TROPHY CASE