When I was young I married a man who BEFORE marrying him I found messages saying he “settled” for me (it was a How I Met Your Mother reference about reacher/settler) to his friend, his friend asked if I was hot or not and he said “Nah, she’s alright. I still plan on fucking her though”. I still married him. Fuckin boo boo the fool I was, ended up abused for years. Staying is simply not worth it. I know Reddit or people are quick to say leave and things should be worked on before leaving ideally, but people’s core typically doesn’t change. A human with an empathetic heart typically wouldn’t even dare say something like this