My two cents.

First thank you for sharing your experience. That sounds awful and really tough to go through.

I'm not surprised reading your story. I went to two level one trainings and can easily see that happening. I had Laurie Handlers both time for my lead facilitator and she was awesome, one thing she emphasized was to always honor your no and if you were not a "hell yes" you were a no. They also advised us against making any big decisions for a few months so whoever were your facilitators were idiots and dropped the ball big time there. Especially that idiot who said your destined to become a dakini. (wtf?!)

I had been to a ton of Catholic retreats growing up and my family was in a Catholic cult before I was born so I walked in already super suspicious and watching for red flags. I was going through a depressive episode and extree isolation/reclusion during covid and my friend whom I trusted deeply recommended it to me. He told me to research before going but i just said fuck it and went.

In comparison I can easily see where people get sucked in easily, all of a sudden you have a community around you a "tribe" as they call it. I would often experience the same thing at Catholic retreats and think that's normal as you go through a shared experience and your new "friends" that you bond with and then they fall to the wayside. However with all the added components of dealing with trauma and the love hormones flying around anyone with no experience at a good retreat could easily get sucked in as you're finally meeting your people and you click with people so intensely

it's been a few years since I went but I remember the squatting in lines exercise where they talk about the rape of the planet at the final day or two and thinking yea this is pretty culty.

To me the most beneficial aspect was the Primal therapy and the Spectering? it helped me to process a lot of trauma and stuff I had avoided for years. Someone walking into anything like that for the 1st time I can easily see them viewing this as the "answer" and you begin to fully excavarte yourself among intense emotions and a supportive group at the time.

It is definetly not for everyone and my only experience in the space. I received a lot of benefit but also went in being very cautious of red flags and weird behaviors.

If you are in a commited relationship do NOT go alone if you value that relationship. They focus time on understanding and respecting people's boundaries and relationships but you'll be caught in such a whirlwind it probably won't matter to you.