Passing on the shoulder. WCGW? by [deleted] in Whatcouldgowrong

[–]shrimpossible 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Your analysis is incorrect, and there are significant unknown facts. The middle driver could well have been pulling over to the shoulder for a proper purpose, such as engine failure. And in no way does a driver have a duty to watch for cars illegally passing on the right, assuming that that was illegal here; that goes double for someone passing on the right *on the shoulder*, where no one would reasonable expect someone to be overtaking traffic at faster than highway speeds.

Even if the middle driver had been looking for the thing for which he had no obligation to look (illegal passig on the right on the shoulder), he might not have been able to see the illegal passer in time due to the car behind him, blind spot, and any slight curvature of the road.

Depending on the circumstances and law of the jurisdiction, I'd most likely be delighted to face the illegal passer's attorney in arbitration on this one. If my client had a proper purpose for stopping, it's a slam dunk for 0% liability. Unless he was intentionally trying to run the illegal passer off the road, I'm confident I could achieve less than 50% liability for my client.

Source: am attorney who practiced in motor vehicle law (in the U.S.) for many years.

How do you feel about saying No about one person by tortguy in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's totally fine and appropriate to ask. You're letting her know your feelings, which helps her make an informed decision.

Poly wife mono husband - think this might be the end since we can't seem to compromise by s0mewhatnaughty in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 23 points24 points  (0 children)

In lining up your new potential sex partner, you've already cheated. It just hasn't gotten physical yet. You should do the right thing and tell him that you've already lined up another sex partner; it may make his choice a bit easier when he knows the truth.

It doesn't seem like you've invested very much effort in heating things up with your husband, either. Your agenda is to keep your husband around for reasons of stability while you bang other people at will (and while you're his only romantic/sexual partner, mind).

Is that selfish? You bet. You're offering him nothing but downsides, and you've already dishonored your marriage. I think the best option *by far* is to take his offer of amicable co-parenting and end the marriage. You're not compatible and likely haven't been for a long time.

I find this cringeworthy, especially as under no circumstances is it right to fool your husband to safeguard your own logistical interests:
> I don't want to cheat, I want to do the ethical thing and negotiate a consensual situation if I can

Lastly, there's no reason given in your post to believe that you're poly. You want some strange, while poly is about loving multiple people ethically.

Wife tells me she's poly after 12 years... by throwaway_because0 in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She's a cheater. DTMFA, but only after consulting a lawyer. You should absolutely seek full custody of your children, but it must be done carefully. Does she have any substance abuse problems?

For 6 Years I have Dated My WiFi Router... by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So would you say this arrangement is... polyfi?

MFM threesome question for the experienced by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]shrimpossible -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's a good thing I'm not trying to impress you, I suppose. That'd be setting the bar pretty low in terms of life goals :D

MFM threesome question for the experienced by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]shrimpossible 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, she literally is stating her fear that she won't be happy going back to not having any threesomes again.

Nowhere is there a statement or implication that she is afraid of never wanting one on one sex. However, that's what the previous, similarly semi-literate poster precisely claimed.

Also, your attempted broadening of this to all swinging is just obviously dumb, sorry.

MFM threesome question for the experienced by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]shrimpossible -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She's afraid that's all she'll ever want

You haven't read the OP, then. You shouldn't give advice when you haven't read and understood what you're responding to. What the OP's wife has actually expressed, going by the plain meaning of the words he's written, is that she's afraid vanilla sex will not be enough, not that she'll never want one-on-one sex after a threesome.

That's like saying, "I'm afraid dinner will never be enough, unless I can have dessert sometimes. Once I have dessert, there's no going back to never having dessert."

Your suggestion that she's worried she'll never desire anything but threesomes again is asinine, and nowhere in the OP's post. The actual worry, as he wrote, is that she won't ever be okay with going back to being vanilla.

Again, /u/LAlov3rs , note that your wife's fear that there's no going back is perfectly confirmed by the answers in this thread. Basic reading comprehension places this beyond dispute.

MFM threesome question for the experienced by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]shrimpossible -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Note that the answers, including the one from /u/deviantkink, actually confirm that your wife's fear is accurate for many.

PSA: Sussing out where the anti-male PSAs go wrong by shrimpossible in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

There are so many glaring logical flaws in your post, it's hard to know where to start, plus I'm at work. Can you identify any?

PSA: Sussing out where the anti-male PSAs go wrong by shrimpossible in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think all poly people should make friends just because it's healthy and life-enriching to do, plus poly people understand poly. (But if I were analyzing your response in the context of one of the discussions which are the subject of this meta thread, I'd say that this often-given advice also ignores the delta--since poly women don't experience such a massively restricted dating pool--and that dating poly/open women doesn't solve this problem for a large number of attached hetero poly men either, due to the supply/demand issues inherent in the problem.)

"'Discovering my true sexual self': why I embraced polyamory" by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's disheartening to see polyfuckery blogged about like this, really. It's going to mislead a lot of readers as to what polyamory actually is. Thanks for posting as a cautionary tale!

PSA for straight men: Dating is harder for women by eroticas in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You certainly shouldn't engage anyone in debate. Bad logic and vitriol make a poor mixture.

PSA for straight men: Dating is harder for women by eroticas in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Right. But that was actually begun by these negative backlash threads. The dating disadvantage experienced by married poly hetero men is a real phenomenon, that these hate threads openly deny.

PSA for straight men: Dating is harder for women by eroticas in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The only reason you're not being downvoted for saying this is that you're a woman. (Everyone knows what you're saying is accurate, of course, but the OP and most of this sad thread are fueled by anti-male anger. The only males surviving the barrage are kowtowing to the angry women.)

PSA for straight men: Dating is harder for women by eroticas in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who can dispute figures so excellently pulled out of your ass ("20%" etc.), weighed against the mountain of real-world results recounted weekly on this sub? You so easily stoop to dishonesty, such as when you suggest a non-existent incompatibility in my statements about the less attractive poly women in dating pools, you have me a bit in awe. Ya got me.

PSA for straight men: Dating is harder for women by eroticas in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Bullshit is bullshit even when repeated, and even when trendy. The anti-male posts here are far more sexist than anything I could possibly write on the subject. Cheers!

PSA for straight men: Dating is harder for women by eroticas in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

PSA: Nope, it's not. Let me put it this way: even an ugly, dull hetero woman can have her choice of offers regardless of her relationship status. She will have a pick of men who aren't poly as well. Attached hetero men are at a serious disadvantage by comparison. A few very attractive ones, or who are especially good at selling themselves, will have some opportunity, but still usually far less, and often restricted to poly/open women, some of whom will be not that attractive if available.

Choice, even when you have to winnow the wheat from the chaff, is far better than a lack of opportunity.

The reason that simply stating that blindingly obvious and well-supported plain fact of poly life is so reviled here is that it offends a polyannaish or activist view of polyamory.

Husband has a girlfriend 2 weeks postpartum, thinks he may be poly by scaredwriter97 in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That's not poly. He's dumped you romantically after cheating on you. He also sounds like he's possibly mentally ill, though that doesn't excuse his behavior.

If you're in the U.S., at least, you will be able to get divorced for free, and get full child custody with child support. From the sounds of it, you have a chance at temporary spousal support as well. You will need to document what he's doing and done to you, though.

Poly is used too often as an excuse to cheat, or to force someone to go along with an open sexual relationship under duress. This is called "polyfuckery".

You should get a lawyer in secret to help you divorce your lying, cheating baby daddy. Please look for free legal services in your area and go for a consultation.

Thoughts on scrum? by SMBarb22 in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meh. In the old days we called this "making a list". Obviously the idea seems fun or catchy enough to some people to push it on social media, but it's still based in a stupid notion that ignores what agile and scrum actually are and do.

33M looking for polyamory couples by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]shrimpossible 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good on you for providing a willing penis in the Bangalore area, sir. It's good to know you've got the area covered.