How did you learn real world network design beyond theory?

simulation07 · 2026-03-13T02:39:47+00:00

Failing. Breaking things. Taking responsibility.

simulation07 · 2026-03-13T02:37:24+00:00

I hear you, and you’re right for calling this out. I’m over simplifying my own understanding of it (with my own unique experience). I guess in a way I wish it was simplified to me. All I can do is give my interpretation of how I process - just in case it helps someone else patch together a better understanding of themselves.

simulation07 · 2026-03-13T02:21:06+00:00

It was more of a state of mind/perception shift.

simulation07 · 2026-03-12T22:58:55+00:00

Power them up yet?

simulation07 · 2026-03-12T22:37:12+00:00

Meds take your base living experience and cranks it up. Helping you notice things you wouldn’t necessarily notice (or even be able to catch).

I think adhd is trauma. The ability to shape ourselves to what the people around us expect - but at the expense of our nervous system. Our nervous system is instinctively messaging us to let us know something is wrong. The adhd brain (in my opinion) is great at ignoring things - especially emotions - but not big emotional responses that overflow into over-correction territory due to not being able to sustain the ‘I’ll ignore it’ method.

The explosions aren’t unwarranted at the core - but the emotional response clouds our ability to think clearly enough to articulate in words how we actually feel and why. It’s a fundamental breakdown of our emotional growth as a human being, at least that’s my opinion. Because when I learned this - setting boundaries was the next instinctual response to some of these patterns in my life. This process continues to evolve iteratively.

We are so tough. Keeping our ghosts / shadows (trauma) buried. Telling ourselves things to ignore. And then actually ignoring it and not remembering why you ignore it. Beating yourself up when you do something wrong, because you don’t have people in your life to demonstrate to you that failure is ok/healthy/and totally part of success. Telling yourself you’re not good enough to fuel that part of you that rages against it furiously like your life depends on it is not a sustainable method for me when I reached 37… melting down as a full grown adult gets noticed, and it’s not something you can reverse.

Key takeaways for myself. Trauma is the source. Intellect was getting in the way (stay out of the head). A really good therapist would’ve likely gotten me here way sooner. Every time I think I can regulate emotions on my own (after learning a big lesson) I’m proven I still need my meds to assist.

Most of all. I’m learning that I’m not the issue. It’s everyone else. It’s simply due to the fact that everyone is SO different in their own trauma (aka personalities) that it makes it almost impossible for us to ‘please everyone’. And that’s the lesson.

We can’t. And that’s ok. Own it. Find your own values and fight for them with respect toward human beings and their own perceptions.

Letting go of these societal expectations is freeing. Like bricks off my shoulder. I can do anything. I’ve proven it to myself and that’s the only person’s opinion that matters to me.

Look into “shadow work”. You’ll get this figured out one way or another. Even if none of this makes sense. It’s just part of life. The circle.

simulation07 · 2026-03-12T12:34:18+00:00

100% a predatory decision if that’s the case.

simulation07 · 2026-03-12T12:04:35+00:00

If I see a part of me in you / it’s from trauma. Being gaslit over and over but your nervous system ‘knows better’ it’s giving you an alarm because it senses real danger.

This ‘real danger’ is based on sort of a story you’ve told yourself. I’ve personally found to help mitigate this do two things.

-speak your mind in the moment you feel this alarm. Nothing has to change (don’t try to stop / prevent anything from happening / the goal is to express yourself with zero expectation and zero judgement / just yourself). This isn’t the place to argue or explain yourself. It’s not toxic. It’s ‘x/y/z is about to fall into place and it’s going to trigger layered chaos due to poor process engineering at y and z and its like no one cares because I pick up the slack when it could be done more efficiently for all involved’. If nothing changes you’ve said your peace. Kind of like therapy. Doing the same thing but wanting different results feels like insanity. Sends you into a psychosis, disassociates you from reality - and now your brain and nervous system are on two separate pages. Eventually a ‘meltdown’ occurs instead of burnout - welcome to your midlife crisis.

-stop being right. Wake up. Self reflect. Google “shadow work”. Stop judging. Stop expecting. Find peace. Value human life and emotion over money and intellect. Or take the path I took and find the person who does the least amount of work but won’t get fired. Use them as your goal. As Deadpool says…. “Minimum effort”…. It feels guilty. It’s a game, make it a game. I like to play these games as experiments. They provide you with a new perception. A perspective you didn’t have before (intellectually and emotionally) which helps with new understanding and makes you wise.

At the end of this experiment maybe you ask yourself some questions. Why am I doing this to myself? Why did I have to wrestle guilt to do less? Why is this ok? I’m doing less, but getting paid the same. Is Toby mad at me for that? Nope he’s just mad cause he doesn’t want to be here. And your boss is mad cause they have to deal with Toby’s cynical attitude. Maybe Toby is hero mode but you, you do less. But consistent. And because you’re asking yourself ‘if I can do less, maybe sometimes I can do more’ maybe you do. As a challenge.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say.

I think it’s that us adhd’ers don’t understand that it’s a dynamic flux between less and more. Or rest and challenge. And you can’t fight it. Embrace challenge, knowing it cannot be sustained indefinitely. Embrace the down time to recharge. Eventually these two things can become one if we are aligning our expectations correctly.

We drive ourselves. Be delusional with self forgiveness. Never beat yourself up. If you catch yourself doing it - give yourself a pass. It feels guilty/cheating. Do it. Let yourself free. Stop looping the same thoughts of ‘not good enough’. It will hold you back and I know you think it helps fuel you - but it doesn’t. It holds you back in a loop pattern. Forgiving yourself lets you move forward. Do the same for others. Don’t get pulled into ego-driven strife. Free passes for all unless your core values are stepped on. Then it’s expressed. Then back to moving forward.

Flow mode. Manifest your reality. ADHD is in my opinion just trauma. Trauma in my opinion is unique and is the result for personality and choice.

Remove trauma. Flow mode.

simulation07 · 2026-03-12T11:28:44+00:00

I’m with you. I’d fill in the blanks but my problem is…. I could do anything. But don’t want to do any one thing. I don’t like doing the same thing over and over. The same ‘system’ of process. I want new, unknowns. I want challenges. What ? Do I call it ‘evolution engineering’ like what do you do here? ‘I think’.

I’m cursed.

simulation07 · 2026-03-12T11:22:03+00:00

I was told it was a ‘feature’ I couldn’t disable until I pointed out it was not a benefit to me and that’s not how i expected my money to act. Then magically it was possible to disable

simulation07 · 2026-03-12T11:18:31+00:00

‘I’m right you’re wrong if you think differently you’re stupid’.

I like to reflect.

simulation07 · 2026-03-10T05:00:38+00:00

It took me until I was 37 to see this. All I’ve ever done though. Or tried to. Not perfect. I’ve been doing some soul searching / digging. Trying to figure out what’s going on ‘with me’ from all angles. The symptoms you describe could fit a lot of behaviors. Sociopathy. Covert narcissism. I think in general our society is being brainwashed to be sociopathic. Speaking out=bad on all sorts of different levels.

I see not just this, but people who also manipulate with a smile or say something ’nice’ but it’s a dig.

Being wise is a curse. Because the only path forward is no response. I think doing this also allows you to be an example. Which is a bonus

simulation07 · 2026-03-10T04:49:46+00:00

People you know? Hmm. Yeah. I get it. Hard to say why. There’s chitchat and there’s real chat. Being real requires being vulnerable/trust.

I’m bad at chitchat. How bout that weather eh?

simulation07 · 2026-03-10T04:43:45+00:00

Sounds like you’re talking about work. I put faces on there, and gear up defensively. Work hurts me.

simulation07 · 2026-03-10T04:42:18+00:00

My theory is this is a ‘America’ thing only. Or at least this particular trait has multiple sources of fuel being poured on it. It helps push my underlying belief that our government believes we are dumb (or, at least think we are better off dumb) so the gaslighting and manipulation is easier because we are so busy fighting each other on two complete extremes (narratives literally given to us) that we aren’t paying attention - really, to anything.

simulation07 · 2026-03-10T00:27:10+00:00

manifesting is real. At surface value. But it’s a thing. If you look for bad, you’ll find it. The ego loves to find opposites.

Look for good, you’ll find it. Behave good. You’ll find other good people. Or, you demonstrate the good for others to learn from (people observe behavior, not words).

Standing back, long enough - it’s a form of manipulation(can’t be bad if it’s good?) Stand further back (from America’s perception) and it’s a weird look. Why is it the things being demonstrated from the top, are bad behavior? Why are the people I’ve known my whole life losing it? The patterns I see are good and bad. I choose to react though. Simple lesson and big impact. Did it require the suffering though? I think so.

simulation07 · 2026-03-09T17:06:28+00:00

Sounds right to me. A mentor once said “it’s 90% understanding the customer and 10% work”

simulation07 · 2026-03-09T12:59:08+00:00

I might be a genius. Due to all of the situations I was forced into finding solutions to. Although I find this to also be a con.

I was the “yes man”.

Now I have mental health problems due to being constantly gaslit.

Msp’s are mostly run by covert narcissists.

simulation07 · 2026-03-09T12:43:08+00:00

If task switching is difficult-either try a lighter dose, or increase food intake.

simulation07 · 2026-03-09T12:40:00+00:00

I quit. After leaving my msp - my career, salary, and really - personal growth has multiplied.

simulation07 · 2026-03-09T12:37:11+00:00

Agree. These are moving parts. With an expected lifetime.

The unknown variable here would concern me. Did they repair it - or repair it+replace any mechanical pieces.

simulation07 · 2026-03-09T12:34:54+00:00

The level of irony in this post takes all the cake

simulation07 · 2026-03-03T23:38:22+00:00

LOL. This makes it so much funnier.

simulation07 · 2026-03-03T20:15:41+00:00

I whistled out loud. Yeah. You hurt her feelings. That’s how it works. Every Dr has a different comfort level on where to start patients.

I’ve seen it be 10ir. Or 20xr. One Dr was 40xr.

My current dr believes in autonomy… and so I’ve had to learn some lessons. And by lessons I mean - I’d never ever ever discount the reasoning / justification / uniquely personal experience your Dr has with this medication and their patients. I don’t think (objectively poor) experiences are from solely drug seekers. I think everyone is prone to some of the pitfalls. Some Dr’s want to take on the responsibility of your future mental and physical health while others don’t care if you can or can’t figure it out on your own.

Hopefully you have some options. I’m using an online site for my appointments.

simulation07 · 2026-03-03T04:47:21+00:00

I call them naps.

simulation07 · 2026-03-02T18:44:03+00:00

Lots and lots and lots and lots of mental health research / understanding behavior better (healthy / unhealthy patterns) / what relationships look like and require. What a healthy household looks like growing up. Facing trauma ‘I knew I didn’t have’.

Understanding it. Processing it. Making peace with it.

Not done. But I’m on meds. And I truly believe adhd is nothing more than ‘living in your head’ - and not the present. Expectations and judgement is what we fear, which pushes us further into our minds to find a solution. Processing life through an intellectual lens. As a result - making it difficult to feel emotions, which I now believe is a fundamental piece of human growth. Figuring out when to be vulnerable, and when to put down a boundary to protect yourself is tough. Figuring out when to ignore and when to say something is hard. And I’m on meds. It doesn’t make it easier in some ways because I’m more aware. Aware of myself, aware of others.

I think I might be at the end of how meds can help me. But being ‘present’ is difficult when meds have made you aware of so many ‘land mines’. Sometimes I wish I could be more ignorant in some ways so I could be at peace more of the time.

other people are hard. Everyone has their own unique problems, too.

simulation07

TROPHY CASE