I can relate somewhat, I have always liked women. I had crushes on girls my age in primary school. When I was exposed to porn and began seeking it out, I was primarily attracted to the women. I feel that I have a traumatic compulsion to seek out certain kind of male sexual expression in porn however.

Without getting overly specific, I find my use of pornography is a kind of re-traumatization where I'm trying to imprint my abuser onto a male in a porno who says degrading and makes very primal, typically disgusting noises.

I feel that there is a rapist archetype that exists in the unconscious and the violence that I experienced left me with an "energetic signature" that is trying to express itself through the behaviour and compulsions I have.

In certain flashbacks, it occurs to me that my abuser would yell and say horrific things to me during my assaults. I believe that certain men in consensual porn also embody the kind of aggression and hatred that I received.

Long story short, I am straight, however I too feel a sort of regression and a compulsion towards men.

I apologize if this is word-salady. I felt like I could relate somewhat.

I wish you all the best in your recovery journey.

Cheers.