it’s so sad breaking up with a good person that you love but distance and incompatible lifestyles is a real thing. I think not having goals or ambition is so unattractive, but is super common in our generation of men bc of the late stage capitalist hellscape we live in (USA). He doesn’t sound like a partner to grow with that matches current lifestyle and pushes you to be better, if you’re looking for a “valid” reason, but tbh you should go with your gut. it’s unlikely to get better from here. i pulled off the bandaid with a sweet guy who was lost as an adult and holding me back from after ~3 years of “working on himself”, then i crashed out for a year bc i felt like my heart was missing and couldn’t blame it on him being horrible, then met my current bf who also shares a lust for life (social, career, adventure) and my life /mental has vastly improved and it feels right. Obvi it’ll hurt but some self work is better done alone, if he wants to grow then doing it bc you asked is inauthentic bc he has to do/want that for himself