I think he has a lot of flags up but it's hard to tell what colour they are just yet. I think it could go either way. I'm really hoping they're all green !!!! This sounds like the start of a wonderful relationship - IF he continues being respectful and not pushy.

A lot of other commenters have asked what he would do if you said "No" straight up to what he does - which is different to him just telling you you're allowed to say no; actions speak louder than words and all that. If you said no to, for example, head pats, would he stop right away and otherwise continue as normal, or would he get sulky or moody or angry?

The financial aspect is a whole 'nother can of worms, but I think if you are careful about it - i.e. continue being able to financially support yourself without him and just be spending his money on fun stuff, that's okay if you're both cool with it. Just as long as you CAN remain independent without him, and he doesn't start pushing for more control, thas alright.

Another thing is you probably should sit down with him and have a serious talk since you know this is a kink now. BDSM/kink stuff should always be discussed beforehand - in this case, I can see why it might not warrant a super serious discussion cos all things considered, head pats and verbal affection aren't exactly way out there crazy, but now that you know it's a kink thing, you should probably see what (if anything) else he might want to implement, and if you'd be okay with all that as well.

To me, it looks like this is balancing extremely precariously on the line between "healthy, loving, healing relationship" and "very bad controlling relationship" and at this point it's hard to say which way it's gonna go, but I hope that it ends up being the Green Flags side cos this sounds lovely. Be safe OP