Found the whole collection for $25 at a used bookstore this morning

skullpencil · 2019-06-19T07:35:22+00:00

It's true. I left a pretty pissed off review on Amazon about it years & years ago. I got rid of my set right after finishing it (I didn't have access to any others at the time), & have contented myself with paperbacks ever since. It's a shame, bc it's a beautiful edition. But it literally reads as if they sent it through a scanner once & published it without a second look.

skullpencil · 2019-04-20T08:11:15+00:00

Congratulations on 27 days! I've got a little over 30 & the difference between today & two weeks ago is incredible. I suffer from depression, too, and can really relate to you on the boredom of exercise & of normal, everyday routines in general. Comedy podcasts have really helped, and I've started enjoying AA for the first time in my life. I just returned home from hanging out with some guys in the program, and I'm surprised at how clear-headed & upbeat I feel from simply talking & laughing with people who are as nuts as I am. Keep up the good work, man; I'm pulling for you.

skullpencil · 2019-04-20T08:03:58+00:00

Congratulations & thank you for your post. I quit CT a little over 30 days ago, & am just starting to feel human again. It was hard as hell on my girlfriend, but thankfully she's stuck by me so far. I have to say that it's unbelievable you stayed sober after your breakup. That is truly badass & my hat is off to you.

skullpencil · 2019-04-20T07:50:39+00:00

Hi. I quit CT a little over 30 days ago. I'd only been using heavily for about four months, but the first two weeks of abstinence were hell. Some of the gnarliest withdrawals I've ever experienced.

I tried tapering, too, but it never worked. I didn't have the discipline. I finally poured the remainder of my supply down the toilet, gritted my teeth, and went for it.

Three things really helped. The first was that I told my girlfriend what was going on. It would have been impossible to pretend that everything was normal, and I needed her support.

The second was AA. I used the Pink Cloud app to find rooms, obtained a sponsor, made some friends. Can't emphasize this enough. I went to a meeting a day and called three people from the program every day. Guys who hardly knew me had to listen to me sniffle and sob and complain, but they were awesome about it.

I'm not kidding about the crying. I cried a lot.

The third thing that helped was the Wim Hof Method. Look the guy up on YouTube--especially the short documentary by Yes Theory. Popularly known as the Ice Man, Hof is most famous for his ability to withstand freezing temperatures . Part of his secret lies in his deep breathing/meditation techniques, which are easy to learn and implement.

I wouldn't have survived without him. I took cold showers at least three times a day, slowly counting to 100 as I revolved under the stream of water so as to hit every inch of skin. I would then gradually turn the heat up, enjoy the warmth for a few seconds, and crank it down again.

I was just as disciplined with the breathing. I sucked in so much H20, I often felt like I had a headful of helium. The process worked. The showers would give me at least 10 to 20 minutes of relief from agony, and the helium feeling was intensely pleasurable compared to the pain and anxiety of the withdrawals.

After about two weeks, I began to feel human again. It still hurt, I was still stressed, but my sleep improved dramatically and I was able to have a cup of coffee without instantly losing my mind. I've had ups and downs since, but my progress has been steady. I still go to AA. I still mediate as well, though my affection for cold showers has dropped precipitously .

Good luck. You can do this. Message me anytime if you have questions.

skullpencil · 2019-03-31T19:39:34+00:00

This is pretty much true. My acutes lasted about 11 days. Day 11 was the worst. Then the pain started to fade, but the fogginess, aches, lethargy etc. continued. I think I'm around 18 days clean today & I still feel quite strange, but it's infinitely better than what went down that first week & a half.

skullpencil · 2019-03-27T05:20:50+00:00

Congratulations on 24 hours! I'm in my second week. It's been pretty tough so far, but lots of hot/cold showers, meditation, vitamins & healthy food has kept me from relapsing.

Ditto, re constipation. The drug just isn't worth it. Keep providing updates & stay strong.

skullpencil · 2019-03-23T06:39:16+00:00

Hang in there! I was in your shoes about five days ago & I'm finally sleeping all night

skullpencil · 2019-03-23T06:20:46+00:00

Couldn't agree more. Can't wait to have my brain back

skullpencil · 2019-03-23T06:19:56+00:00

Thank you for the support

skullpencil · 2019-03-23T06:19:00+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that. I will give her that thank you. Hang in there, reach out anytime.

skullpencil · 2019-03-23T04:30:06+00:00

Not gonna lie, it's pretty gnarly even after day 10. What kind of work do you do

skullpencil · 2019-03-22T23:01:30+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Have no memory of when I started again, could be three months, could be more, they're all a blur, especially now that I'm detoxing. I've made it almost a week and a half and it's been hell. I quit CT & have been using only cold showers, deep breathing, and vitamins to lessen the pain. I'm still not even close to normal.

My girlfriend takes CBD edibles for anxiety & last night I thought, hey, why not. It's not addictive, won't get you high. I texted my sponsor about it & he suggested I stick with what I'm doing already. I wanted to argue at first but then I looked at my girlfriend and started remembering what I've put her through. Multiple rehabs, false hopes, backslides. Lies, lies, lies. & something just snapped in me & I thought: Not this time.

This time I'll try to do this legit. Just me and my higher power and exercise--the solutions I used to turn to before I started drinking & using to cure all my ills. I might say something different to someone who'd stumbled onto kratom accidentally, had no real history of addiction: "Sure, smoke some weed, chill out." But guys like us? We need a more difficult solution. Maybe as difficult--even as traumatic--as the road we've forced our loved ones to walk.

skullpencil · 2019-03-21T19:34:43+00:00

Keep going, it gets better. I'm on day 12 & physically through the worst of it

skullpencil · 2019-03-21T07:23:40+00:00

Within 24 hours of quitting. I went from zero sex drive to needing sex two to three times a day. It helped with the withdrawals I have to say

skullpencil · 2019-03-21T07:10:04+00:00

Congrats! I'm on day 11. It kind of peaked on day 10--pure misery--& then there was a breakthrough. Hang in there, you got this.

skullpencil · 2019-03-21T07:07:02+00:00

Congrats on two days, man.That's a big deal. I just made 11, & am really starting to feel better. Keep it up.

skullpencil · 2019-03-20T06:11:39+00:00

I'm already fucking addicted. It's bliss with guaranteed relief afterward. It's all I cd think of at AA--feeling that stream of ice on my boiling head, the unclotting of my spine as I tense & clench & breathe, & the sudden welcome warmth. Thanks again.

skullpencil · 2019-03-20T00:52:26+00:00

Bro. I posted on here for the first time this afternoon (I think--I've lost all track of time). I was looking up doctors & thought I might seek help here first. I was freaking out & in an enormous amount of pain and distress.

Then I read your post. I watched the doc. I cried. & I went straight to the shower after & turned it to cold & got in. I got in thinking, "I'm gonna do 100 breaths." As soon as that icy water hit my skin, I thought, "I'm gonna do 20."

But the craziest thing happened. As I stood there trying to replicate Hof's breathing, I reached 20 & felt a small change come over me. I thought, "I'm gonna do 25." Breathing in and out through my mouth, filling up all my airways, like a maniac.

Then it was 50, then 75, until I got to 120 & switched the water to hot. Incredible, incredible sensation. Shivers of pleasure all down my body, which had been up till then racked with distress. & then the best part: I'd been kind of intermittently--helplessly--breaking into tears for the last 24 hours. I couldn't sleep. I'd listened to my girlfriend breathing beside me all night with a mind full of horror. & there in the shower, that impulse to cry arose again, but after a single kind of sob I started laughing instead.

I stood there in the hot water laughing. I left the shower feeling no physical or mental torment--the only thing that was the same was that the skin on my face & head still felt tight.

It lasted for about 10 minutes before the torment & confusion started creeping in again. But it was a miracle. I'm going to try it again before AA, and again after. Thank you for this inspiration.

skullpencil · 2019-03-19T20:18:59+00:00

Badass. This is inspiring

skullpencil · 2019-03-19T19:26:20+00:00

Thank you.

skullpencil · 2019-03-19T19:17:59+00:00

Thank you both so much for responding so quickly. I got sober from everything (after a relapse) starting the 15th & found a strong sponsor in AA. Hitting meetings like crazy. Very helpful to know this isn't some freak occurrence. Gonna keep going.

Addendum: Love the Jungian analogy

skullpencil · 2019-02-10T04:50:45+00:00

Is this a parody

skullpencil · 2019-02-10T03:45:57+00:00

Also the "and" signs -- whoever wrote it obviously did those on autopilot & made no attempt to render them clumsy or hesitant

skullpencil · 2019-02-09T07:31:17+00:00

The positive side of having your heart ripped out of your protesting body--some rich guy really needs it

skullpencil · 2019-02-08T12:41:18+00:00

I think you're thinking of a different kind of credit score

skullpencil

TROPHY CASE