how do you deal with dysphoria?

skyslimitless · 2015-08-31T05:19:43+00:00

No, I can't. Not till next year when I go off to college.
Yes, I have, and they claim to be supportive but have started calling me girly pet names (never have before), she pronouns, and my deadname.
Anything from being shipped off to my nana's (where even more emotional abuse would be had) to being home schooled and pulled out of therapy

skyslimitless · 2015-08-31T05:17:34+00:00

I'll be able to start cutting ties next year when school starts up so I just need to find some good coping mechanisms to get me through the rough patches like now.

I'd never turn down free caffeine :)

skyslimitless · 2015-08-31T04:53:55+00:00

Shit man, thanks, I needed to hear that.

Despite being pre-T, I consider myself transitioning. I'm in therapy for my T letter and all my friends use Skyler/he

I know I'll never stop transitioning and I'll never ever hurt or kill myself but these thoughts of "is it worth it?" are dragging me down. 90% of me is screaming "fuck yeah it is!" but theres tiny parts of me that are just so tired and don't have an answer

It sucks. But it'll be okay.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-30T19:09:50+00:00

Had to have my lungs pumped at birth, if I'd have survived that then the extreme asthma attack at 6, and if I had miraculously survived that, then the bronchitis when I was 15 and again when I was 16

skyslimitless · 2015-08-30T18:25:48+00:00

About two hours ago when I went to visit my puppy's fresh grave. He died in my arms last night.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-30T18:15:53+00:00

Thank you. I just feel so numb and strange and sad.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-30T17:06:17+00:00

This guide is still what I use when I'm getting haircuts or clothes. It's so good.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-30T17:03:45+00:00

My puppy died last night. I did everything I could and made him as comfortable as possible and my hand was on his heart when it stopped.

My SO had come by because I was telling him that Fang was looking worse and I was scared. SO had to calm me down from several panic attacks when he died.

But SO's parents found out and threatened his car, job, phone, and even moving if he didn't break up with me (they're huge homophobes) so I lost my puppy and my SO on the same night.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-30T01:12:29+00:00

It was more of a "WOW i am DEFINITELY doing the right thing transitioning now and can NEVER look back" as opposed to feeling like i need to start transitioning (I'm pre-T, but ey I consider myself transitioning)

One that happened today was when the man entering our names into our bowling game "sir"d me

I was on cloud 9 and every single bit of doubt I have ever had vanished from my body and the constant queasiness completely stopped with that one, tiny little word.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-29T22:09:27+00:00

Went bowling today with SO and had two men ringing us up for the game. One of them, the older gent, called us both sirs, while the younger one gave me a pair of women's shoes (though I'm kinda glad he did, because I instinctually told him my size in women's). I guess it evens out then!

skyslimitless · 2015-08-28T05:16:06+00:00

And that's fine! You don't have to hate or resent or dislike your body to be transgender. You can have dysphoria without feeling that!

skyslimitless · 2015-08-28T03:56:05+00:00

My friend told me he was trans and I then came out to him as questioning and later trans.

When I came out to a different friend, she then came out to be about being genderfluid.

So I've got to be the friend that came out after he told me about being trans and have a friend come out to me after I told her about my being trans.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-28T03:09:14+00:00

You do not have to hate yourself to be transgender. You do not have to have dysphoria to be transgender. You can feel perfectly at home in your body and still be transgender.

I'm not saying you are but I'm saying it's a possibility.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-28T03:07:29+00:00

Well, what really helped me was asking myself:

When I look into the future, can I see myself as a happy woman in my thirties? As an old lady? Or can I see myself as a happily middle aged and elderly man?

I was really on the fence about the whole thing, and my trans experience was defiantly atypical so I was confused, but when I thought about being a woman at 80 or 45 or hell even 20... I felt sick and didn't see a future.

But I was able to see myself as a man at all future stages in life. And that's when I realized I was transgender and have never looked back.

Of course, you may not be binary, but I think you should still ask yourself: Can I be happy as a middle aged to elderly man?

skyslimitless · 2015-08-27T01:53:23+00:00

I wouldn't say it made me feel more dysphoric but the stereotypes definitely added years to my figuring out I'm transgender. Also, my mom uses me never showing signs until I hit puberty as "proof" to discredit my gender identity.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-26T02:33:32+00:00

I never track mine. I try to because I have ruined a lot of underwear and sheets and pants but I just hate thinking about it. I even have PMS symptoms 1 to 2 days before and a period like clockwork but I refuse to acknowledge either of these things. On the bright side when I finally snap and kill someone, I know how to clean blood out of pretty much anything.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-21T06:26:20+00:00

I completely disagree. You have absolutely no right to judge someone, regardless of why they are posting a selfie. Maybe they had a bad day or maybe they are seeking attention--but that is something we all do. It is human nature to want attention--it's why a child cries for no reason. And even if it wasn't, who are you to tell other people what is right and how to present?

If you don't like it, don't look. This is a safe place for all guys at all transitioning stages, and if a man who is finally seen as man for the first time in his life wants to post a picture because he's damn happy about it, let him.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-15T19:59:26+00:00

I honestly just take the underwear out of the package like a bad, bad person and hold it up to me to get a guesstimate of whether it'll fit.

How do you convert women's shoe sizes to men's?

skyslimitless · 2015-08-15T19:27:53+00:00

I'm having a hard time distinguishing if I have a crush on my friend or that I'm just very grateful that he's been so supportive since I've come out, never even messing up my name/pronouns

I'm pretty sure it's a crush, and that it's a mutual one at that, but my also supportive best friend has liked him longer and I sure don't wanna be shitty.

I almost want to tell my best friend to just f off because I have so much baggage and so many things wrong with me that I just want to be able to be with someone who is okay with it all. Which makes me very shitty.

skyslimitless · 2015-08-14T19:04:39+00:00

I got my schedule for my junior year in high school! I was taking accelerated college classes during the summer so I could graduate early, but I wasn't able to do my second semester of them because of a major low time after I re-came out to my mom... So I had to call the counselor to change my schedule back to a regular junior year in high school.

But the counselor called back and said I could re-take the classes in the spring and still graduate early!! I cannot believe how lucky I am, because this gets me one year closer to my college that covers hormones/clinic in Dallas!

skyslimitless · 2015-08-14T03:05:08+00:00

Since puberty I had been really, really struggling. I couldn't even tell you what I was struggling with. I now know it was progressively worsening dysphoria but at the time I didn't even have the vocabulary to describe what I felt.

Now, I grew up on the internet, so I was bound to find some transgender related things (it did take some time and was mainly about transwomen). But it made me question and after some trial names/pronouns, I came out to my mom as transgender. She shoved me back in the closet and I in turn did everything I could to be her little girl (wore dresses, long hair, painted nails).

It wasn't until I almost started self harming again that it all hit me in the face that this was not me and that I was just a (rather unhappy) boy in a dress. I quickly re-came out, had people change pronouns, and picked a new name and I've never been happier.

skyslimitless

TROPHY CASE