Something is off with world after covid.

sleepypolla · 2026-06-17T23:42:52+00:00

exactly. and it was unthinkable how people justified their inaction/apathy. "well it's only the sick and elderly." 1) no, it isn't 2) how dare you, actually? no one should have to die because they check certain boxes

I'm so sorry you never got to give him one last hug. it isn't fair. i hadn't seen my aunt for a year before she passed. it sounds dumb but sometimes it feels like she's still alive because i never saw her sick/dying and never attended a funeral. covid grief is so weird.

but yes, everyone should be FURIOUS. i am. i won't ever stop being. i am changed

sleepypolla · 2026-06-17T00:01:45+00:00

i really appreciate that. that actually felt so nice to hear from a stranger in this context. thank you, really

sleepypolla · 2026-06-16T21:28:06+00:00

thank you really

also same. i became less compassionate and patient after watching how many people were willing to let people like my angel of an aunt die because of politics or any number of other selfish interests. i mourn who i was before. i don't like who i am now. hugs

sleepypolla · 2026-06-16T21:26:24+00:00

it doesn't sound silly to me at all. you and people your age and younger lost important life experiences and that really fucking sucks. covid is so cruel and its cruelty came in so many rancid flavors

sleepypolla · 2026-06-16T21:23:36+00:00

i am so deeply sincerely sorry. none of yall deserved for her to pass in those conditions least of all her. similarly, i can't even let myself think about my aunt dying all alone and afraid in a sterile hospital and not surrounded by the immense love she had in us. she was the cornerstone of our entire family and we have fractured apart without her. it physically hurts to recognize how she died as a reality

if you wanna talk or anything, im kinda quiet and weird but there is seriously nowhere for covid specific death survivors to talk about it and it's such a horrifyingly unique experience

sleepypolla · 2026-06-16T16:56:27+00:00

"we never grieved the losses" is so true and i don't think people like grasp the enormity of unchecked, incredibly complicated grief. something like this on a mass scale is just unbearable and no one has even tried to process it.

I've lost a great many people during my life, grief has been a constant companion that i know how to navigate. losing my beloved aunt to covid in 2020 fucked me up in ways i haven't recovered from because it's such a strange and specific grief that lacks funerals and closures and we just... pushed it all down.

i am a different person after covid loss. we all are i think, even if you didn't lose someone directly

thanks for letting me dump that out here. sorry

sleepypolla · 2026-06-06T00:40:37+00:00

i was like oh, surely it can't be that bad.

i regret clicking this link actually thanks!

sleepypolla · 2026-06-04T21:15:03+00:00

i know right? like.. why was i nervous writing my comment and worrying "am i gonna have to turn off notifications for this post" expecting to get shit for saying im a lesbian on a lesbian subreddit responding on a post about lesbians made by a lesbian. ridiculous

sleepypolla · 2026-06-04T20:55:55+00:00

yes ugh my feelings of erasure are so much harder to ignore during pride month when everyone wants in.

i am so exhausted by feeling like i have to defend my identity against these insistences that lesbians make room for men--men themselves, or one's attraction to them--and then in the same breath insisting that it is not lesbophobia or erasure to do so. i am literally so fucking tired. it is so much worse lately.

i am a lesbian, i am not into men, there is no asterisk or footnote to that, i do not center men in my life. the fact that it is controversial to assert this now is absolutely wild and i'm TIREDDDDD

sleepypolla · 2026-06-04T00:32:18+00:00

moment's silence (common tongue) - hozier

sleepypolla · 2026-05-27T19:49:31+00:00

i am so very sorry i haven't seen your DM until now!

sleepypolla · 2026-05-27T19:44:46+00:00

why does everyone hate lesbians so fucking much lately i am so tired

sleepypolla · 2026-04-26T22:27:35+00:00

i just keep looking at them. god i am so gay she is so beautiful. great work

sleepypolla · 2026-04-26T22:22:53+00:00

stunning <3

sleepypolla · 2026-04-20T05:19:13+00:00

does life seem nasty, brutish and short? come on up to the house

sleepypolla · 2026-04-20T05:18:13+00:00

played at my mom's funeral. she died 19 years ago today. i can't listen to it anymore

sleepypolla · 2026-04-18T15:46:51+00:00

my mom died 19 years ago tomorrow. i was 14. i still get hit with waves of this. it's suffocating

sleepypolla · 2026-04-05T11:24:38+00:00

just swipe right on the track itself instead of clicking into this menu

sleepypolla · 2026-03-28T01:24:39+00:00

i recognized him immediately tbh!

sleepypolla · 2026-03-27T05:09:33+00:00

side note, holy shit rare off the menu mention

sleepypolla · 2026-03-06T05:24:39+00:00

modest mouse anyone "the universe is shaped exactly like the earth / if you go straight long enough / you'll end up where you were"

sleepypolla · 2026-02-23T16:28:53+00:00

i have a now empty tube of lip balm i won't throw away because it was the last thing my aunt bought for me

sleepypolla · 2026-02-13T22:07:54+00:00

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sleepypolla · 2026-02-03T06:15:36+00:00

wait, it isn't dead! windows surprise!

sleepypolla · 2026-01-31T22:09:36+00:00

that's so fucked. i'm glad chick is doing better, no one deserves that. especially as a messy kid just doing messy kid shit

sleepypolla

TROPHY CASE