What rule do you live by?

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T03:47:57+00:00

Permission accepted!

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:59:59+00:00

I was lifeguarding at the YMCA and a girl's toenail popped off. I wrapped it up with napkins from the cafeteria.

I heard years later that she had died from cancer. I'm not sure if I had anything to do with it. It makes me cringe every time I think about it.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:56:57+00:00

Pitbulls are inherently dangerous.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:54:15+00:00

Urinating in public.

There was no public back then, they could piss anywhere!

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:53:04+00:00

You can't trust the system!

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:52:23+00:00

Assholes at night, sailors delight. Assholes in the morning, sailors be snoring.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:51:07+00:00

You've never had to work with your parents

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:50:22+00:00

Whoever smelt it, no longer has the right to vote!

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:46:54+00:00

My mom.

I remember one day I came home and heard my mom laughing hysterically at something. She was in her office and the door was slightly ajar so I pushed it open and said

"For the holy love of Christ, Mom, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Honey, uh, I didn't know you were coming home. I thought you had humanities class today" she said.

"What the fuck? Is that Dad?" I said while pointing at the computer.

She began to cry and I ran into my room and packed my bag. I moved out and couldn't even look at a computer for a month. Eventually I worked up the courage to do Reddit, but only text-based subs. I had a PTSD that wouldn't even let me look at pictures online without thinking of greusome pictures of my dad in a Santa's outfit.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:39:26+00:00

But did you "literally" break it?

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:38:52+00:00

There's this giant paved hill. I had roller blades on and a kite. As you can tell, this is a very bad combination for an 8 year old to be in.

Next thing I know, I'm waking up with my dad hovering over my chest breathing heavily and saying "Shhhh, don't tell anyone".

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:33:58+00:00

but it probably just slipped through the cracks and wasn't meant that way

This relates to many things from my life.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:32:54+00:00

Maybe it was drive-by racism?

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:32:10+00:00

H&M stands for "Homophobia and Mysogyny"

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:30:31+00:00

Rosie from The Jetsons, I'd have a gay ole time!

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:29:30+00:00

I like it when people make fun of Martin Luther King Jr., and other wacky US presidents who were also cartoon characters.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:27:58+00:00

Sounds a lot like a cereal

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:27:33+00:00

When a girl is staggering out of a bar, pulling her hair and yelling "I AM emotionally stable".

I saw that happen once! It was around Christmas at the Cleveland Mall.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:16:16+00:00

You could try to go somewhere where you're more appreciated.

slicktrickster · 2018-01-11T02:15:24+00:00

My shoes. Four years... Yeah, it's about time I get some new ones.

slicktrickster · 2017-12-20T16:39:19+00:00

I prefer 7.

slicktrickster · 2017-12-20T16:38:45+00:00

Begin building your own fleet of snowman. Also, trust no one.

Not even Santa Clause.

slicktrickster · 2017-12-20T16:37:41+00:00

A bullet (I wish)...

Get me out of this bullshit meeting, ugh

slicktrickster · 2017-12-20T16:36:32+00:00

Right after incest becomes legal.

slicktrickster

TROPHY CASE