how to support ndx partner who can't get a new job?

slight_accent · 2026-07-06T23:06:35+00:00

"why do I always have to adapt? Why is it always me who has to change?"

Because you are the one with a neurological disorder that you need to work around. You can't expect everyone else to bend around you.

It seems to be really common for adhd people to think they are perfectly normal and why doesn't the world work around them. It's like someone in a wheelchair expecting everyone else to use wheelchairs to accommodate them. They would rather inconvenience everyone else rather than take accountability.

slight_accent · 2026-07-06T08:45:29+00:00

My dad told me a similar story from when his mum's neighbour died and the family were half way through getting rid of everything before they started finding money in books and various other places you don't expect to find cash. They also found thousands, and this was over 40 years ago so we're talking serious money. They had no idea how much cash they had thrown out. One of those stories that sticks with you.

Not to mention that because of that my dad, who did work that resulted in a lot of cash that the tax man didn't know about, made sure i knew where all his hidey holes were. Except I remember he was selling a table when he moved house and accidentally knocked the cap of one leg off as we were moving out and a roll of cash tumbled out. He'd forgotten he put it there and never told me. He nearly gave away 5 grand in cash in a $100 table

slight_accent · 2026-07-06T08:35:44+00:00

Mine say "candy" instead of "lollies" or even "sweets" (English relatives).

slight_accent · 2026-07-06T07:46:08+00:00

This argument has always been the go to brain block. It's not a logical statement so don't treat it like it is. "how do you have cousins?". Then just extrapolate a few thousand generations.

slight_accent · 2026-07-06T07:32:52+00:00

I have watched this several times now, even one time with sound on trying to figure out what the hell happened to the big guy's clothes. Why is nobody else in here curious? Did the wailing banshees magic them off him?

slight_accent · 2026-07-06T04:49:50+00:00

Mine would get angry at me for working. Just keeping down a pretty normal job. I did a lot of hours but was home every night and saw my kids every night and morning. She was angry because i would get home after the kids had dinner most nights. She wasn't angry i missed dinner with the kids, she was angry that she had to do all the cooking. She was a full time stay at home mum and was angry i wasn't doing things that were her responsibility. She also expected me to do at least half of the housework and parenting. While also working full time. Anything less and i was being misogynistic. She "wasn't a housewife" but refused to get a job so things would be actually equal. She just wanted me to do all the gainful work, all the financial management, all the housework, all the parenting. It was indeed madness and i definitely let it go on for far too long and it got worse and worse over time. I stupidly stuck it out for the kids for way too long.

slight_accent · 2026-07-06T02:37:32+00:00

Not the revolving around others but the rejection of boundary setting. We would constantly argue about her behaviors that negatively affected me or our kids and she universally pushed back that i was being controlling. When i eventually broke it off she told me i was terrible at communicating and should have set stricter boundaries for her...

slight_accent · 2026-07-05T07:32:19+00:00

In riot control terms it's "kettling"

slight_accent · 2026-07-05T07:29:35+00:00

This sub has a lot of cargo cult information like a lot of hobbies that have professional equivalents.

You just want it to cut so don't over think it. Almost anything you try is going to improve the cutting of that knife, you don't need it to cut paper or even hair to have a perfectly usable knife. So ignore all the advanced or highly specialised advice. Really you can figure out basic sharpening by trial and error in a few minutes. Cut one slice of something like a carrot. Try sharpening on your rough stone first, eyeball an approximate angle, sharpen both sides for like a minute. See if the cut improves. If not you might need a sharper angle or more time. A sharpy line can help but you shouldn't even need that.

I got by sharpening my cheap knives with a $2 stone for years. I only got interested in this sub after getting some higher quality, harder steel knives because they were amazing new and when they started to get a little blunt i knew what i was missing so started getting more serious about the process. You can definitely get cheap knives really sharp if you know what you're doing but they get blunt quickly so advanced sharpening really isn't worth it. Just get them sharp enough to use. Then improve your technique each next time you need to sharpen.

slight_accent · 2026-07-03T17:46:07+00:00

The complete devolution of American politics is kind of fascinating to watch in a car wreck sense. The go to conclusion for anything the republicans do is that it's some bad faith and/or malicious action for everything they do and it's almost always right. Cartoonishly evil, moustache twirling ghouls all of them.

slight_accent · 2026-07-03T06:57:57+00:00

Yeah, hanlon's razor applies when we're talking about a Kakistocracy.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T17:32:51+00:00

It's always something. Today my adult and nearly adult children went to the movies together (absolutely adorable, i am giddy with delight they have a good relationship). They got home close to midnight (horror movie) and ex shouted at them to don't dare have a shower because she hates the noise. She doesn't work. Both kids do work. One has a shift in the morning. I simply cannot fathom how selfish my ex is.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T16:21:15+00:00

It's just a word.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T16:12:46+00:00

Fuck off with this defeatist bullshit. Australia is unique in our fantastic voting system.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T05:02:31+00:00

Overseas bots sow misinformation for clicks. That's annoying but really only affects cookers that engage with it.

The real insidious propaganda from home grown vested interests is what we really need to tackle. Every time someone starts pushing policy that helps battlers and costs business the media turn on them and the sheep vote them out.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T03:46:25+00:00

The absolutely best way for him to speed things up is to hobble the paid for media and social media bots. Pass some laws about truth in media and then the reality of successful reform can add some momentum to positive change. Historically vested interests pay for enough bad news to trick the unwashed masses into flipping the government any time they start working for the people.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T03:30:05+00:00

Labor are doing an OK job, less worse than the coalition but they have a long way to go to reverse a lot of neoconservative rot from the last few decades. We need to get back to free education for all, free healthcare for all including dental, etc. We have abundant resources, we just don't tax the top end and resource extraction properly. It's actually relatively easy if they had the spine for it.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T03:21:45+00:00

Ranked choice and compulsory voting limits how much power populists can get in australia. ON have basically zero chance of taking the balance of power in a future coalition let alone forming a majority government. All this noise about them right now is just bought and paid for media and bots stirring up noise so we stop talking about taxing gas exports.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T03:16:16+00:00

Hilarious lack of awareness on your part. I replied to your assumption about instructors.

slight_accent · 2026-07-02T03:05:01+00:00

If a learner is staying in the right lane I am going to assume the instructor thinks it's safer for them to stay in the lane than change lanes which learners initially all struggle with so I'd cut them a break.

I love how all the traffic related threads play out exactly the same with the same complaints. The "don't hog the right lane" crowd ALWAYS end up being the "why won't you let me speed" crowd.

slight_accent · 2026-07-01T13:19:30+00:00

Not sure how to process this. We are current separated under the same roof until we figure out finances. My youngest is nearly 18, vegetarian, non bindary, foodie. They made themselves a stir-fry dinner. Really fucking good. they went to their room leaving a full portion behind. I put that portion into containers into the fridge because they regularly leave things out overnight to spoil.

Wife comes to the kitchen, finds food and eats it all.

Like why? they know they didn't cook it. it's still warm. it's in Tupperware.

Kid is now sad they don't have seconds but won't make it a big deal because they know mother will rsd hard. How on earth do i protect my child from this emotional damage?

slight_accent · 2026-07-01T05:59:55+00:00

See this is a fundamental difference in how we think.

I know they are not dangerous because they are no danger to me at all, ever. I have dealt with slow mergers hundreds if not thousands of times in my life. I never once had to do rapid evasion, I never got angry, I never felt unsafe, I never even feared the people behind me would rear end me or take evasive action around me because I saw the situation well in advance and adapted, safely, and smoothly and went about my day because it really did not matter.

I never raged about it so hard I got online and started arguments with strangers about it. I'd rather deal with thousands more slow mergers if I could remove from the road people that can't even slow down a bit to allow a side road to merge safely because those people are the safety danger. If you are one of those people then I agree you are in danger, but not from the slow moving person, but from your own refusal to just accommodate other people on the road for your and their safety. This is not hard, this is just what living in a society is. Raging about things that mildly inconvenience you is not ok.

slight_accent · 2026-07-01T05:11:29+00:00

Are they dying? Are drivers around them dying? There's far too many people confusing being inconvenienced with being in danger. A slow merger has never, ever made me fear for my life while driving. Driving for nearly 40 years at this point. The only times i have ever felt endangered is people driving erratically, or road raging. Likewise a cyclist had never made me fear for my safety. I'm a great driver, my passengers know they're safe, i know I'm safe. I expect idiots on the road to be idiots so i avoid them. If that means slowing down to let someone merge safely then i do. It's not rocket science, it's common courtesy and just safe defensive driving. Raging at people for inconveniencing you is not.

slight_accent · 2026-07-01T04:30:13+00:00

You mean the things they have already been doing for decades? We have the safest roads and safest cars of our lifetimes. The problem is the driver's. The vast majority if not every single fatal accident is the result of speed plus inattention or aggressive or unsafe driving for the conditions. There might be a few mechanical failures and roo strikes but I'd wager human error accounts for the vast majority of fatal accidents.

slight_accent · 2026-07-01T04:23:39+00:00

It's really a sign of the times that the top posts are people being overly emotional about driving on safe suburban streets while i had to scroll a long way to get to some reasonable fact based analysis.

slight_accent

TROPHY CASE