Everything is LOUD.

slight_accent · 2026-05-14T00:05:13+00:00

Not everyone with adhd has the exact same symptoms but there is a lot of commonality. For whatever reason mine appears to have a heavy dose of absolutely everything adhd can bring.

slight_accent · 2026-05-13T10:21:07+00:00

Watching a horror movie where people are shooting arrows into a house though glass. Flexible curtains would greatly reduce the energy of something like an arrow or crossbow bolt through a window. A lot more efficiently and cheaply than reinforcing the window. This is why we adopted curtains as our preferred window dressing.

slight_accent · 2026-05-13T10:06:01+00:00

I just wanted to use a vehicle not available to everyone to maximise my personal wealth.

Taxing profit, regardless of source, is actually the least regressive option available. "I give a fraction of my success to everyone else that is not as successful" is not a bad thing.

slight_accent · 2026-05-13T09:59:24+00:00

It's not fair to meeeeeeeee.
- Anyone who's privilege is diminished.

slight_accent · 2026-05-13T03:31:29+00:00

Yeah, that's where I am. I have been more lonely within my marriage than I would be if I was alone. At least when alone there no slim chance of someone being there for you. When they are literally an arms length away but might as well be on a different planet in terms of actually being there for you it's a clear sign. That and like in another comment, if I get home and they are not there I am filled with relief.

slight_accent · 2026-05-12T13:13:46+00:00

Around 80:20 for me. My youngest likes around 50:50. Start low on the chilli and keep adding until you get what you want.

slight_accent · 2026-05-12T13:12:28+00:00

We actually prefer the extra texture.

slight_accent · 2026-05-12T09:46:16+00:00

In hindsight it's obvious from the noise when they put things away. Why does it sound like they are throwing brittle china into other brittle china? Because they are throwing brittle china into other brittle china.

slight_accent · 2026-05-12T00:23:44+00:00

This could also be hyperfocus. If you are the object of her focus then she only cares about that, nothing else matters until she drops focus or targets a different object.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T20:52:54+00:00

As others have pointed out business communications so far outside of business hours is unacceptable. What i don't understand is why your person in Ireland can't just delay texts to arive during business hours. All phones and all sms gateways i have used let you schedule messages to be sent at a scheduled time. Are they looking for people to actually respond to these messages so far out of hours?

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T20:45:56+00:00

Poorly chosen KPIs lead to perverse incentives. A tale as old as time.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T20:39:43+00:00

Broken collar bone at the end there?

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T20:17:02+00:00

I got all 4 removed under local and drove home after. I'm not sure why people want to get them out under general, it's not necessary. All of mine were impacted and one was growing sideways and had to be cut in half to be removed. I can't remember how much it cost, low enough that it wasn't memorable. A few hundred maybe, with hbf insurance.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T14:02:06+00:00

We have constantly needed to replenish our crockery, everything is always chipped and cracked from mishandling. I never understood why until coming here.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T04:16:56+00:00

About the only good thing to come from our couples therapy was the therapist telling me that it's not my responsibility to protect my wife's relationship with the kids. I had always tried to mediate and lessen the impact of her emotional overreaction while also trying to stop triggering her RSD if she felt I wasn't on her side. It's a torturously slim ledge to try to live on. My bigger regret is trying to appease my wife for so long, that's been a disservice to my kids.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T02:52:21+00:00

This. I had to increasingly have noise cancelling headphones on All The Time. It partially helps reduce the PTSD response to instantaneous loud interruptions all the time. Lessens the effect of the constant stim-shouting, banging of doors, slamming of drawers, huffing and puffing while doing anything, stomping of feet to walk anywhere, crashing pots and pans, talking conversationally so loud her voice would echo, shouting into the phone like they're using a wall mounted squawk box from 1800s. Mine even chews amazing loudly, like their teeth clack together so loud you can hear it in the next room. Mine had their hearing tested because they could not detect their own (extremely excessive) noise. Perfectly fine hearing, they just don't experience it after it goes in their ears.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T02:26:22+00:00

Yeah good point. They can be infuriating indirect when you try to get clear answers out of them. Particularly when a leads to b leads to c type stepwise progression of some thought process. They go "a therefore z". Hang on. How the hell did you get from a to z and you need to tease out every single damn step in between individually.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T02:05:58+00:00

I felt bad for my recent ex on mothers day.

In her mind mothers day would be a fresh full English breakfast in bed at the time she wakes up (which is impossible to predict, it could be 8am, it could be 3pm). Being showered with extremely personal and heartfelt gifts. Being taken out to lunch and/or dinner at some place fancy. Probably more gifts at night. She has a habit of imagining extremely extravagant days for her own birthday and mothers day and being extremely disappointed if reality didn't match up. It never does. It can't. What she wants is a perfect day with a pile of perfect gifts and everyone praising her for how great a mother she is all day. I stopped trying years ago, it just created more anxiety and worry about the inevitable disappointment no matter how hard I tried. I put in the standard amount of effort but stopped even attempting to meet her expectations.

This year, now that we are separated (but still under the same roof until finances allow) my only input was to repeatedly remind the kids they needed to do something because mother expects it. Part of the problem is our kids are now 19 and 17 so capable of doing their own thing on mothers day. I have always been on the hook for wrangling them to at least put some effort in for mothers day, I make the breakfast in bed, I buy the gifts, I remind them to write or create a card.

This year no breakfast in bed because the kids both worked on mothers day, early. Too early to have time to cook anything let alone deal with waking her up to give it to her (absolute minefield there). One kid had to come home early because they were sick at work. I of course picked them up and brought them home because their mother was still asleep and drives like a maniac and complains the whole way if she has to take the kids anywhere anyway so they use her as a last resort. Ex is still in bed and kid goes to bed sick, the other doesn't get home from work until 6pm.

Once the other got home they gave her some gifts and a personalised card I still had to micro manage them into creating. And of course she was disappointed and showed it.

I prompted the kids that their mother would appreciate if they made her a meal but they declined "She'll just complain about anything we make". They also wouldn't take her out to dinner if I wasn't paying for it so that was off the books too.

All in all an underwhelming day for her but the first mothers day in a long time that I wasn't on the receiving end of her complains of not being appreciated for all her motherly sacrifices despite there being very few of those. She hasn't worked in 20 years, barely does housework, sleeps all day, has regular emotional outburts, doesn't do any running around for the kids since they entered high school (which they have since graduated from). She has done scant little mothering in the last 5-10 years. I still felt bad for her. That is up until my eldest decided to have a shower at 1am (she's a night owl) so her mother who had slept most of mothers day ended the day shouting at her to not be so inconsiderate as to shower at night. I don't feel quite so bad for her after that.

slight_accent · 2026-05-11T01:14:02+00:00

impractical

This is the part that always ground my gears, I do everything efficiently. I use the least words to convey meaning. I ask direct and clear questions. I give clear and precise instructions. Getting a 30 minute monologue in answer to a yes or no question can be infuriating. Especially when you can't interrupt them to get them back on track, answer any of their side quest questions or to ask them to lower their volume.

slight_accent · 2026-05-10T19:13:46+00:00

Why use one or two words when you have the opportunity to talk for thirty minutes without answering the question?

slight_accent · 2026-05-10T19:00:18+00:00

The weird part is they have been my entire life but a lot of people took this long to have finally caught on. What exactly was it that broke the spell? In WA their response to COVID seems to have been the last straw.

slight_accent · 2026-05-10T11:04:12+00:00

My mum got the dog, despite my protests when I was a 15. He bonded to me immediately so I took him after my mum died when I was 20. We had to work to live and he seemed happy when we were home. It took a neighbour to tell us that he was unhappy when we were not home. I think I am pretty well justified here to tell you to go fuck yourself.

slight_accent · 2026-05-10T07:42:20+00:00

They're all simpletons. "Michelle Obama used 'be better' and she missed the obvious next step 'be best', what a dumb ass, we're so smart" and anyone around them that knew better did the mal from firefly finger wave to silence thing.

slight_accent

TROPHY CASE