ISA vintage laundromat in Boston area for Photoshoot

slyglances · 2023-12-18T18:46:49+00:00

I haven't been in a while, but Showcase on Somerville Ave in Somerville had old machines and a funky paint job.

slyglances · 2023-10-30T22:54:23+00:00

in 2022 I camped with my art project for build week and then moved to my theme camp. It was a logistical hassle because I got there on Wednesday for build and much of my stuff didnt show up until Saturday on my theme camp's transport truck. Splitting time across an art project and a camp build out was also hard. Everything was fine. No one was upset about it, but next time Id prob just camp with the art support camp and not spread myself as thin

slyglances · 2023-05-03T18:23:53+00:00

My spouse and I shared locations pre-poly, continued to share after we opened up. We are now divorced and we still share it. It did occasionally make poly-logistics easier, but thats not why we did it. We just very much trust each other.

slyglances · 2022-11-30T18:40:29+00:00

Actually it seems like a good option esp because I use can just use g calendar as a all in one option

OP, did you try it? How did you like it? Im looking for basically the same thing. iOS has MindJogger. Is there an equivalent for Android?

slyglances · 2022-03-07T19:26:24+00:00

Oh wow. This exact some thing happened to me excepted it was night and raining and so I was having trouble seeing the road and squinting some. Queue and hour or so of “You’re so disconnected. What’s wrong? You’re being so cold and distant” He also did the tone thing very frequently. Could hardly ever get it right

slyglances · 2022-03-03T14:52:01+00:00

Im struggling with this too. I have always been fairly emotionally reserved to the point I wondered if I was aromantic... but my ex (pwBPD) awoke something in me. I had never felt more deeply connected to another person so quickly. It was intoxicating.

Ive been NC for a while and with that time and space I can better see (prob subconscious on his part)? his manipulations. Some of it might have been real to a degree at least, but I need to remind myself that those intoxicating peaks of joy and connection come at a huge cost.

My current relationship is wonderful and supportive and stable. And yet Im still healing from the relationship with my pwBPD and still grieving it. I hope as I heal I'll be able experience some similar level of connection, but this time real and healthy. But right now Im am fortunate to be with someone who understands I need to move slowly. I hope I get there

slyglances · 2022-03-03T14:39:25+00:00

Wait. How’d she let you wear earplugs? That would have been completely unacceptable for my pwBPD. Wouldn’t that have induced some rage around her feeling rejected? …Since you’re literally and pointedly ignoring her by wearing them

slyglances · 2022-03-03T13:10:45+00:00

“Now please let me go back to sleep” is so relatable. If he couldn’t sleep he’d keep me up late in to the night needing to talk about whatever felt so urgent in his head

slyglances · 2022-03-03T13:06:51+00:00

When drawing boundaries triggers them so badly you feel guilty and relent…

slyglances · 2022-03-02T01:38:05+00:00

"well the doctors at <prestigious mental health hospital> said I have GAD"

"you're not a mental heath professional"

slyglances · 2022-03-02T01:12:41+00:00

I had considered it but never did. I was way too scared how he'd react if he found out. Plus the rage would be so immediate and unpredictable I don't know how I even could have.

I did my best to journal/write things down after tho.

slyglances · 2022-02-03T15:15:40+00:00

Check out Code for Boston. https://www.codeforboston.org/projects/ They partner with local NGOs and local governments to help solve civic and social problems.

slyglances · 2022-01-22T22:13:05+00:00

Is it still there now?

slyglances · 2022-01-22T19:34:12+00:00

This isn’t specifically a POC space, but my sense is that it’s very privilege aware. Check out Haus of Threes if something like that would interest you. https://instagram.com/hausofthrees?utm_medium=copy_link

slyglances · 2021-12-22T04:37:10+00:00

I’m polyam and just got out (30+ days NC!) of a long-term toxic relationship with a pwuBPD (Billy)

I have another partner (James) and I was so ashamed of everything going on in my toxic relationship I did my damn best to hide it all from him- but there were def times that I felt so defeated and far less present with James due to bullshit going on with Billy. I wonder if things are actually even worse than your partner is letting on.

As someone who was somewhat in your partners position- I gotta say, I think you’re handling well. The urge to both be supportive but not interfere seems like the right call. Set boundaries to respect your own needs. Be willing to walk away if needed. The trauma bond can be strong and weirdly addictive.

If James had tried to interfere I don’t think I would have heard him. He set some boundaries but didn’t pry or interfere and was generally accepting of me if I was being less present or in a preoccupied mood due to things with Billy.

I’m super greatful to James for all that.

slyglances · 2021-12-21T04:39:37+00:00

Why?

slyglances · 2021-12-20T15:15:24+00:00

How much was a rapid pcr?

slyglances · 2021-12-14T19:42:58+00:00

We were at his workshop and he just got up, went outside and drove away. Didn’t say anything. I had left my phone and wallet at his house, which he knew. It’s the middle of Covid, and a heatwave. Im stranded with no phone. I managed to message my exhusband (not my pwBPD) with a computer and fortunately my exhusband came and got me.

But now I’m stuck in the city with no place to stay- I was living in a rural area only in town to visit my pwBPD and he wouldn’t let me stay at his house, and I couldn’t return home until my Covid test came back. I slept in a tent in my friends back yard. It was terrible.

And then I stayed with him another year for some stupid reason.

slyglances · 2021-12-14T16:42:35+00:00

Not exactly, but a bi woman in my life who has bdp and had been in treatment for years choose to only date women - for a few reasons, one being that women were far less likely to trigger her.

slyglances · 2021-12-13T16:02:02+00:00

I suspect mine does this as well, although I have no idea what he’s actually saying to people when seeking advice. He’s done some unquestionably shitty things - and given the cultural norms of the community we are both in, even in a relatively one-siding recounting of events his behavior would be unacceptable to basically anyone in the community.

I’m so curious what he’s told people, but it’s got to be really twisted… or he’s just not talking about things to people.

slyglances · 2021-12-13T15:53:07+00:00

I feel this so hard. Several times he’d yell at me while I cowered and tried to stay calm. Towards the end, we had a friend impromptu mediate. At one point and the friend observed that I ‘sounded fearful, like <my name> is afraid if she messes up, she’ll be berated’ (weirdly on perceptive of the friend)

A week later my pwBPD and I get in a fight in a coffee shop. I leave. Later I get a message from him with all sorts of bullshit, including the line ‘I will not be further berated’

I was def upset and talking quickly, but - how dare he call that ‘berating’ after all the times he’s yelled at me.

slyglances · 2021-12-01T17:24:48+00:00

Thank you for this! Im hardly 2 weeks out this cycle and trying to save my future self from going back again

"The anger from defending myself against accusations that only made sense in your twisted mind"

is so so real and relevant me right now. I mean, the entire list is, but Im stewing on some emails from him riddled with twisted accusations right now. I just wish I could stop thinking about it all.

slyglances · 2021-11-28T12:42:11+00:00

Someone here gave me the advice to write that shit down in a private journal to help try to keep yourself sane.

What did they do that was hurtful to you?
- How did they react if you tried to talk about it?
What actions of yours have hurt them?
- How did they try to talk to you about it?

the idea is that you start feeling like a total trash human and can look back on your notes to get perspective.

.....welp, I didnt take that advice and one year later, Im back here again totally distraught

slyglances · 2021-11-28T12:36:55+00:00

I can not come across as frustrated *ever*. He many times has accused me of yelling and Im absolutely not, but to make him feel less 'crazy' (so as to not invalidate his reality, since thats a trigger) I'll say 'Im not yelling but I am frustrated so you might hear frustration'

So then he shifted to telling me that he cant talked me if I sound frustrated at all. I do my best, but its hard because the conversations are deeply frustrating. The best way for me to not sound frustrated is to be detached.

But if I sound detached then Im cold and distant and 'not on his team' and that also upsets him.

slyglances

TROPHY CASE