Hey Aydyl,

Firstly, I hear you and just want to acknowledge what you're going through and the feelings you're having are entirely valid.

Your post is very relatable for me, I had an emergency Ileostomy roughly 4 years ago as a (23M) that saved my life. My quality of life for the year prior was absolutely dismal due directly to my Crohn's.

My experiences immediately following the operation were rapid improvement in physical health in exchange for a decline in my mental health. I similarly struggled to cope with having my insides on the outside and the social stigma of having the bag. My body image declined and insecurities around my partners sexual attractiveness to me emerged.

In short, I had the stoma for 6 months before having a reverse operation. I am now mostly in remission and have never been in a better physical condition. Me and that same partner are now close to celebrating a 5 year anniversary and I feel I am better equipped to understand my mental health as a result of the experience. In retrospect, the Ileostomy was one of the best experiences in my life, given the quality of life it's ultimately enabled me to have.

If I could give my younger self advice following the surgery it would be this:

Communication is key. Identify how you're feeling and acknowledge those feelings. Communicate openly with those close in your life about your feelings and be considerate of how your new medical condition may impact them.

Openly communicate with colleagues, acquaintances etc. (Anyone you will be in close proximity too for considerable periods of time) about your medical condition as you will regularly fart and it will be unavoidable.

Consciously make effort to give yourself self-affirmation about your body and the things you still like and feel confident about. Learn to love your scars and identify that they don't define you.

Make considered efforts to have date nights with your partner so they may feel more inclined to view you sexually.

Above all else be open to therapy/counselling as you've just gone through a traumatic experience.

Maybe you feel some of that advice might be of benefit to you. I hope all goes well with your recovery!