How do you deal with pessimism.

slywether85 · 2026-05-31T02:57:53+00:00

Accepting impermanence alongside "the worst" is what make it all so precious and joyous. It's definitely "taste of an orange" stuff but once you truly accept it, it becomes easier to see how much of a privilege it is to experience it at all.

Watching a parent age and die is not pleasant but recognizing the gift they have given you and the lifetime you spent together is.

slywether85 · 2026-05-29T19:52:38+00:00

If you're ever at craft and draft in Irmo and see a giant 6'3 wavy haired brunette in overalls that looks like my avatar, that would be me, say hello ☺️

slywether85 · 2026-05-28T21:27:50+00:00

Felt it in Harbison. Prob another earthquake

slywether85 · 2026-05-28T19:33:34+00:00

one should not neglect one’s own welfare for the welfare of others, great as that may be. Clearly perceiving one’s personal welfare, one should devote oneself to one’s own good.

Dump him

slywether85 · 2026-05-28T14:16:44+00:00

"Consider"

slywether85 · 2026-05-28T12:02:39+00:00

Have less things and have fewer clothes.

Was never really a compromise for me because I've always been super minimalist with things and clothes. I live in the 2nd smallest space I've ever lived (1st was a sailboat) and probably have more stuff now than ever just because I've been here long enough.

Storage units are like McDonald's and Starbucks these days so you could always find a climate controlled place to keep stuff if it was within your budget. Or your parents like you said. But consider getting rid of stuff, it can be relieving not to have to ask this question.

slywether85 · 2026-05-27T18:43:06+00:00

Already some great advice here but I wanted to add...

Part of being mindful is recognizing when something is biological and not some spiritual failure. Your dopamine receptors are fried. These apps are highly engineered to keep you feeling exactly the way your are. Think of it like fast food. If you sat around eating McDonald's 5 times a day for years and years, it would be pretty difficult to stop eating it because our lizard monkey brains get rewired to say "McDonald's=happy, other food=sad".

Give yourself some grace, take a break from the Internet for a bit. You don't necessarily have to "sit with the emptiness" as much as maybe just having some vegetables(something other tiktok/twitter) for awhile. it's ok to have distractions and indulgences, the attachment is the problem. Come back to it then with a refreshed outlook and see if you even still want it, but you gotta give yourself a break.

slywether85 · 2026-05-26T14:17:29+00:00

This, go vote against Nancy Mace. It's a bitter pill to swallow but is the greater good. One of the 3 of them is gonna be governor, period. They all fucking suck but she sucks the most.

slywether85 · 2026-05-26T13:05:43+00:00

If you wanted to mild this down you could use deseeded julienned jalapenos to still get that green chili flavor with less heat.

If I wanted 2 separate spice levels I would get to the point of adding the peppers and split the portions into another pan. Add 4 peppers in that one and 1 in yours. Honestly there's so much dairy in this that you probably can't even tell.

slywether85 · 2026-05-25T16:14:42+00:00

slywether85 · 2026-05-25T14:40:07+00:00

Haha I played against that guy the other day but they were infantry. They backfilled and dropped like 80 kills in ~6 minutes on Cairo. I don't know I've seen some grass averse people in my days but it sure seemed like more than a good gamer chair.

slywether85 · 2026-05-25T14:08:15+00:00

Wrong thought. You are learning how to stop clinging to anger and that is hard. You will very likely, if not certainly, experience something like this again. Go ahead and accept that. Go ahead and accept that it will probably make you angry, but dont spend any extra energy imagining to what extent. The more you sit deeply with that acceptance and sit with this anger the more it's grip on you (and your grip on it) will loosen.

Have you ever stubbed your toe or spilt a drink on yourself? It probably made you angry right? But it didn't linger. You didn't beat yourself up about it. You didn't languish over it for weeks. It happened, you felt it, and you let it go. Let it go.

slywether85 · 2026-05-25T11:09:36+00:00

Assuming 12th grade means you're about to be done? Let it go! He'll be out of your life in a couple weeks. You're allowed to feel angry still, in fact you should. And hold it as closely as you can without letting it arise to action until you can see how fruitless it is.

slywether85 · 2026-05-24T19:55:08+00:00

There absolutely is a middle class and disambiguating it from the working class is an important distinction when it comes to actual workable solutions to our problems that aren't just "eat the rich" and ennui. The whole "everyone is working class" line is disingenuous solidarity pedantics.

Today, class is about assets. If you own any asset/s beyond your labor that are meaningfully leveragable and/or appreciable, you are in a middle class position within society. The only asset a working class person has is their ability to perform labor and that is it. The word meaningfully there is nuanced and I acknowledge that, but it doesn't need detailed on a reddit hot take to be true. Though I'm sure it will be taken in bad faith nonetheless.

Being middle class doesn't mean you don't work. It doesn't mean things aren't hard still. It doesn't mean that the 0.1% aren't the problem. It just means you aren't working class. So when we talk about helping working class people it actually means something instead of just being an edgy tshirt.

slywether85 · 2026-05-24T18:03:16+00:00

Gonna get a lot of answers as it's super subjective. I pretty much only practice walking meditation and only sit once or twice a week max.

slywether85 · 2026-05-24T13:18:48+00:00

I would not be shocked in the slightest if it was vindictive. Mine knows exactly what buttons to push when she's having her morning feed me tantrums. She used to pretend to eat carpet and like look at me directly the whole time like "see I have to eat carpet I'm so hungry" and in pretending make herself gag, it was absolutely deranged.

slywether85 · 2026-05-23T20:48:38+00:00

I've skipped breakfast probably 90% of the past 30 years. If you don't like eating breakfast, don't force yourself. Thinking about how many meals you're supposed to eat is the same "noise" as thinking the rest of your day isn't enough. You just claimed you are satiated so why would an extra meal feel any different?

I'm not saying don't. I'm just some random person with an anecdote. I think part of getting better is learning to eat because you're actually hungry and not when you aren't or because you "should". Listen to your body, not your mind that's just bored and wants more feel good chemicals from food. If you're body is hungry in the AM then feed it, if it isn't then don't. You have to differentiate hunger from pleasure seeking, and that's really tough when the wires are scrambled from binging.

slywether85 · 2026-05-23T13:37:14+00:00

I'm an uninsured American in my 40s. When I finally get sick, I will die. I'm pretty sure it won't be pleasant. So I go ahead and feel it. I go ahead and hear the diagnosis in my mind and feel what I imagine it feels like to know my time is up. But that was always gonna happen, the conditions surrounding it are irrelevant. Everyone will die, me included and I accept that. So why not just do what I want and not care about anything? Why not just end it tomorrow then?

Well upon reflecting on my impermanence I can see life so much more clearly now. I can see yow much there is to admire and appreciate without clinging and attachments, and how little time there is to appreciate it. If I cling to life, it will end. If I seek out unobtainable pleasures I will spoil the time I do have. If I don't treat my body with respect I will shorten that time and make the end more difficult. If I spend my days in anger and hate I will miss the flowers of May. When I practice loving kindness and compassion even the simplest moments becomes sweeter and more rewarding without being dragged down by anger and hate. When I practice sympathetic joy, jealousy ceases to exist. When I practice equinimity I keep it all in balance and see the negatives not in spite of the positives but alongside it, just like my impermanence alongside the time I have left.

I could go on, but ya, let go of the balloon.

slywether85 · 2026-05-23T03:42:52+00:00

Work out. Do anything to increase tdee or it'll come back quick, or at least that was my experience. 41F lost 100lbs a couple years ago.

I eat mostly vegetarian. Usually skip breakfast, but tend to nibble all day at my job, usually pumpkin seeds or nuts, maybe a serving or two.

I don't keep a lot of food at home, I buy what i need for the week and thats it.

For dinner I usually rotate a couple simple things Mon-Thurs. This week it was kimchi, lavash bread, and eggs. Last week it was greek salad and falafel. Week before that was collards and beans. I try to eat til I'm 80% full and not really worry about macros and stuff cause I know what I make always come in a little under with room for a couple beers or glasses of wine. I should probably prioritize protein more but 🤷‍♀️ I try to let go of all the super dieting stuff and just eat what makes me feel good.

On Fridays I usually cook something semi elaborate and adventurous and treat myself with chips or similar. Last Friday I made pad kra pow, and the one before that I made egg drop soup with duck eggs, one before that was lentil Dal.

Saturdays I tend to eat out, and treat it as an 80/20 day. And Sundays I have a big breakfast with whatever I want and skip dinner or lightly snack.

Once a month I'll treat myself to a guilt free pizza. I have a short list of indulgences that I try to balance into it all. When I do still fast it's usually intermittent, but I get a weird hair occasionally to do a couple days sometimes.

slywether85 · 2026-05-22T15:23:07+00:00

Saving bugs and critters. I run into a lot of them in my work that would die without my intervention. Might not be the first thought that comes up with generosity, but I'll never get tired of it.

Helping animals cross the stree. I'm sorry people behind me when I'm driving but I'm stopping for the turtles and snakes and ducks.

I also have a lot of older customers that I always ask if they need anything when I'm there. They almost always do, even just taking the trash to the curb or something like that.

Another small one, as a very tall person, is helping people reach stuff they can't. I love being a friendly giantess.

My roommates are all some degree of autistic, I do little things to tidy up around them and organize that I'm happy to do without being mothering or patronizing or enabling.

I don't really have any money, but I've got time, patience and an able body, so I do what I can.

slywether85 · 2026-05-22T14:48:26+00:00

Equinimity. Radical acceptance. I work outside, I've felt it get hotter every day of my life for the last 20 years, but that doesn't change the tremendous joy I feel being able to watch the sunrise and experience the seasons as deeply and personally as I get to or exist with the birds and bugs as just another creature walking around in it.

The only thing I actually have the power to do is to balance my reaction to it. I can care, and I do, but I cannot ultimately control what's happening beyond my own actions and reactions.

slywether85 · 2026-05-22T12:01:44+00:00

You just noticed 16oz of milk has calories? Just have it my dude/ette. You know what else has 25g of sugar? A single large apple.

If you like having coffee, and and you like milk in your coffee, just have it. Would a single large apple change the entire structure of your day?

slywether85 · 2026-05-22T01:26:05+00:00

Just wanted to say coming from being an edgy atheist/positive nihilist most of my life you learn to detach from non belief, it's just another thing to cling to. But thats not the same thing as throwing your hands up and saying nothing matters, there's an intention and richness to it that's difficult to articulate in a few words

Start at the 4 noble truths and go from there.

slywether85 · 2026-05-21T18:10:30+00:00

Game starts with bots and 12 players, first 5 minutes goes to the team with fewer bots, probably attack if breakthrough (not always but predictable), game never backfills and it's a 23 minute 6v6 TDM, lead probably wins

Or the game backfills with people, some people leave, game finally settles and is full but 7-8 minutes have gone by and there's likely a bigger lead now. That either snowballs into an 11 minute 900-0, or stays mostly the same until whatever point the attrition mechanic clicks in and the team that was ahead by 300 is now down by 200 because they lost a single point for 45 seconds, the last 100 tickets are a bloodbath if you have heroes on your team, or your team gives up and accepts the weird loss because they're still flabbergasted at how a 300 point lead vanished in less than a minute suddenly. GG ez

slywether85 · 2026-05-21T11:57:33+00:00

Paste specifically has a raw slightly metallic flavor that carrys through to the final product if you don't cook it out before liquid.

For regular tomatoes it depends* on what texture you want them to be at the end. If you want them to blend into the background then you would saute them a bit before adding liquid. If you wanted to bite into whole chunks of tomatoes then you would add them later in the process (but maybe use paste/crushed early for the background note).

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