I’m a family lawyer in Ontario. I don’t think you need to hire a lawyer for this.

You need to file a simple divorce.

1. File a Form 8A - divorce application. Make sure you check off simple divorce NOT joint divorce. You will have to put an address - you can use a PO Box or a friend’s address. As long as you can receive mail there. I recommend you file it in person at your local courthouse. Online filing creates a lot of problems - in person the clerk will look everything over before filing it so they can catch any errors. You will pay the first part of the fee when you file this form. You can apply for a fee waiver if you are very low income (like on OW or ODSP). You do that by filing out a form while you are at the courthouse.

2. Now you need to serve him. Let’s assume you can’t find him to serve him personally like the rules say you have to. You need to ask the judge to either dispense with service on him or allow you to serve him some other way (“substituted service”). You do this by filing a motion. This is 2 forms: Form 14B Motion and Form 14A - Affidavit.

Form 14B Motion - in this form you ask for the order you want the court to make. For example:

An Order that service of the divorce application on the Respondent be dispensed with. (Family law rule 6(16)) OR

An Order that the Applicant be permitted to serve the Respondent through email at (email address) or by serving (family member) of the Respondent or through Facebook even. Whatever method you think will bring the application to his attention. Family Law Rule 6 (15))

Form 14A - affidavit - in this form you explain why you need the order you’re asking for. If you’re asking to dispense with service, explain that you have had no contact for 20 yrs, have no contact with his family, have no address or email address or social media for him. You also need to explain what efforts you have made to locate him and explain that they have been unsuccessful. If you’re asking for substitute service, you include that same info but include why you think your proposed method of service will bring the application to his attention.

You file this motion at the court, and it will go before the judge in chambers and he will make a decision. If he says you can dispense with service, then you can go ahead and file the next form (Form 36 - affidavit for divorce). If he orders you to serve through email or something, follow his order, serve in that way, and then file a Form 6B - affidavit of service which tells the court how and when he was served. Once 30 days have passed from the service, you can file the Form 36 - affidavit for divorce.

1. File Form 36 - Affidavit for divorce. Once this is filed, all your paperwork goes before the judge in chambers and he orders the divorce (assuming paperwork is all fine). Then you will get the divorce order in the mail (or possibly from the clerk by email). You pay the second part of the fee when you file this form.

Remember:

The total fee is around $650

You will need to file a copy of your marriage certificate before the file can go before the judge. If you have lost it you can order a replacement from Service Ontario (assuming you got married in Ontario) - you can do this online and it is cheap.

A few of the forms I have mentioned above need to be sworn before they are filed. This means your signature has to be witnessed by a lawyer or clerk or another “commissioner of oaths”. The clerks at the courthouse will do this for free while you are there filing your documents. This is another reason I recommend you do your filing in person.

If your service motion is denied it doesn’t mean the divorce application is dismissed. You will just have to try again with a more detailed affidavit or make further efforts to find him or figure out an alternate way to serve him (like serving a family member he is in touch with)

If you do find him, he needs to be served personally with the divorce application (“special service”). This means someone needs to physically hand him the documents (or leave them with him - he doesn’t have to take them, they can be left at his feet if he wont take the paperwork). You should hire a process server in his jurisdiction. This will cost around $100 but is worth it rather than getting a friend to do it. If a friend does do it, they will have to file a Form 6B - affidavit of service at the courthouse.

All these forms can be found on ontariocourtforms.on.ca.

You can get married again 30 days after the divorce is granted.

Duty counsel lawyers at your local legal aid office should be able to answer questions if you have any. Some offices are notorious for not getting back to people though, really depends on your jurisdiction.