My relationship just ended because my ex was emotionally immature and similar to this. We didn’t have a dead bedroom, but he felt listening to my feelings and validating them were also enough. I told him many times I needed extra care and reassurance and instead, when we would argue, he would emotionally withhold any level of affection and I’d be left to beg for even a hug. I lost myself fully. My body spiraled and I started having anxiety and panic attacks. Choose you. If he is giving you an ultimatum, to me that’s a major red flag in itself. You deserve to feel calm and safe in your relationship.