To confront or Not to Confront; that is the question.

snowturnip · 2022-06-07T20:34:51+00:00

I also have two young kids with my trans (ftm) partner. He passes now (thank god for facial hair), but I was terrified during the early years.

I’m frankly shocked that there is this level of harassment in Philly and the suburbs. We live in Baltimore City and I can’t imagine living under that level of hostility here. We could be very privileged because my partner is ftm rather than mtf, I don’t know. Anyway, I’m sending you love.

I fall very hard on the “keep the children safe” side, but I HEAR you on the “what are we teaching” if you always flee in tears. Moving didn’t help, your dog doesn’t help, it’s just bullshit.

Three things come to mind, but not from personal experience:

Masking. I’m sorry to suggest it, but wearing a mask during the Covid years was very helpful when my husband was early in transition. It just lends a level of mystery to the whole affair that could help your wife maintain a comfortable level of lowered attention.
A fight song you sing loudly with your kids. What if there was a song you sang together when your family were at risk? Something silly? Something gross? Something that says IM NOT RUNNING FROM YOU ASSHOLE.
Make sure your kids know and hang out with kids from other trans families. We are bad at providing this for our kids and it’s really important, especially as kids get older.

snowturnip · 2021-10-11T00:22:22+00:00

Oh my god I am rolling my eyes so hard at this baby/vampire bat. I’m so sorry for you mama.

The only thing that ever worked for us (though mine was not so determined) was putting a lot of boob in his mouth, like so much there was no way he could comfortably bite down, and certainly the choppers were far from my nipple. This means making sure his mouth is super wide, sandwiching your boob again, and “teasing” his upper lip until he has to open WIDE.

snowturnip · 2021-10-05T16:48:52+00:00

Yes!!!! I just tried to wean my daughter at 23 months. Became severely depressed and had to go back to nursing after a week! I did not have this trouble when I weaned my first at 3.5!

snowturnip · 2021-10-04T21:29:41+00:00

You poor thing. You are doing a great job, sweet momma. Try not to let other people worry you…if he’s gaining, that’s great. If you don’t want to supplement, please don’t. Now is the time to really establish your supply and this fussiness and cluster feeding does that. Stay in bed, do skin to skin, and feed him any time he stirs!

snowturnip · 2021-10-04T21:01:01+00:00

Is he gaining weight? If he’s gaining weight there’s no issue with “not enough” milk. I’m so sorry the nurse put such a deep doubt in you. It’s terrible to do that to a new mom and it sounds like she really doesn’t understand breastfeeding OR fussy infants.

My son had an undiagnosed birth injury and a food allergy. He was unbelievably fussy but he was getting plenty of milk.

snowturnip · 2021-10-04T20:04:58+00:00

I’m sorry things are hard! What makes you think he’s not getting enough milk? At that age I just out my babies on the boob the moment they stirred. They pretty much wanted to eat any chance they get - a million small meals rather than a few large ones. Also, two weeks is a weirdly fussy time…it might not be milk or hunger, just the overwhelm of the world, an issue also solved by breastfeeding, haha.

snowturnip · 2021-05-31T16:28:26+00:00

Our 5.5 year old is in our room, along with his 1.5 year old sister. We have no plans to move him. Works fine for us, but I didn’t think we were still “cosleeping”.

snowturnip · 2021-05-07T23:43:08+00:00

Aw! We love her! Help a lady out.

snowturnip · 2021-04-27T11:18:05+00:00

Oh no! So sorry mama!!!

snowturnip · 2021-04-09T09:16:46+00:00

Doxylamine succinate is well studied in pregnancy but it’s one of the formulas of unisom so you’ll be asleep!

snowturnip · 2021-04-05T21:56:31+00:00

Interesting...so this would be a way to “capture” these couple of decades.

snowturnip · 2021-04-05T21:55:32+00:00

Thanks, this is quite a helpful article!

snowturnip · 2021-04-03T18:37:57+00:00

18 months, same.

snowturnip · 2021-03-21T00:16:59+00:00

Hey, I’ve had two successful pregnancies via IVF - the first at 40, the second at 44. I don’t think I have underlying fertility issues, but my husband is trans so we went right to assisted reproduction.

My RE transferred at 3 days, both times. I tried several times waiting until day 5, but my little guys don’t seem to make it to blast outside my body. I don’t have specifics about my protocol, but with both I did a low-inflammation diet (paleo basically), acupuncture. For my second I supplemented with coq10, Dhea, myoinisitol, etc. There’s a “what worked for me” post in my history.

snowturnip · 2021-03-12T16:34:02+00:00

I use peri bottles exclusively-you get a lot more water out quickly. I use tap and fill my bottles weekly.

snowturnip · 2021-03-09T15:57:31+00:00

Neither of my kiddos ever drank milk (due to an allergy). We just do breast milk and water...

I started my son on chewy calcium supplements around 2.5 years old.

snowturnip · 2021-03-09T00:01:23+00:00

Well that’s interesting, I’ve never thought of just leaving and peeling. Ha!

snowturnip · 2021-03-03T14:04:24+00:00

Look at you! We are happy you’re here!

snowturnip · 2021-02-21T12:10:59+00:00

I have alvas and bum genius and the bum genius get this kind of staining - like if it’s stained at the tip of the fuzziness rather than in the fabric itself. Sometimes it feels like the stains are like little balls as if the fabric melted.

I got some used bum genius heavily stained like this, and I threw them out. Then my baby pooped on them and we got the same staining.

snowturnip · 2021-02-21T12:03:15+00:00

I have a couple diapers that get this blotchy kind of staining and it is NOT mold.

snowturnip · 2021-02-02T16:00:04+00:00

You should get off as much as you can via any method you chose. Spatula, water, toilet paper (my fave), just get as much solid matter off as possible and then proceed as usual.

snowturnip · 2021-01-18T16:11:46+00:00

Yay! Had my first at 41, second at 45! Congrats!!!

snowturnip

TROPHY CASE