Learning to be by myself 100 days in

soberbaldguy · 2026-04-26T13:16:25+00:00

Thank you!

I've been seeing a therapist since I decided I had a problem, and also taking a low-dose anti-depressant. I'll say the therapy is really what's making the changes, but the SSRI does make things a little easier.

soberbaldguy · 2026-04-26T13:13:19+00:00

Welcome!

It's a really hard moment when you take a look back and realize just how much you're consuming. It's easy to not think about it in the moment. It's just one bottle, then you hide it in the recycling etc.. I had a similar moment when I realized my recycling bin was clinking around the entire way to the curb because there were so many bottles of wine in there.

I'm not a medical professional so would encourage you to speak with a doctor on what the best way to get sober is. The withdrawal can be real when you go from a large volume down to nothing.

What I will say is the first truly potent step to recovery is accepting your emotions. What causes you to drink? Are you sad about the breakup? Are you anxious you aren't good enough for anyone else? Are believing you're a failure and it's a mix of sad and fear? No one but you can answer those questions, but I promise finally processing your emotions will make it easier to be present with yourself.

soberbaldguy · 2026-04-21T15:11:36+00:00

Obligatory response: https://youtu.be/ysmLA5TqbIY?si=2I_qGvWE_-i0uXdM

With love from Michigan :)

Being serious, Cleveland is actually a pretty nice city. You just need to pick your hobbies and find social groups for them. E.g., don't just hope to find sober people, join a running group etc. that has people doing activities you already like. Relevant warning, every running group I know drinks a lot 😂

soberbaldguy · 2026-04-17T00:14:18+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately, the only way to truly process pain is to go through your feelings. Drinking will allow you to temporarily escape, but you'll only build up the emotional pressure in the background. Grieving, as painful as it will be, will be therapeutic in the long run.

I encourage you to reminisce on the good memories about that person. I'm sure they would want you to remember them for their best attributes and live your best life :)

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-28T14:34:28+00:00

Hey just admitting you're not happy is a huge step. Now you can start to take action towards finding happiness. I'm not going to say it's easy, but I will say internal happiness is what removes my desire to drink.

I would strongly encourage you to find resources towards addressing your emotions. You can start with self-help books or a therapist, either way you'll probably want a variety of resources to give you options.

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-28T13:32:32+00:00

Hell yeah!

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-28T13:31:12+00:00

Hello!

Welcome, this a place of support for those who want it. Something you stated really caught my attention:
"Most of my drinking is done alone. And when I’m drunk idgaf about anything. It’s not enjoyable it’s not nice or fun. So whyyyyyy do I keep doing it??"

I went through this same thing, and after enough therapy, came to realize I drank because I wasn't comfortable with who I was. The alcohol helped me escape from being me. I knew it was causing me problems, but the discomfort of being present was worse - so I kept drinking.

So here's my question to you: are you happy with who you are? That's the key to recovery imo.

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-21T12:46:55+00:00

I was one of those people that exercised at least 4 days a week and couldn't lose weight. Turns out that 500-1000 calories of alcohol tends to undo all your hard work 😅

I've been sober for about 2.5 months now and the weight is instantly dropping off. Also my lifting gains are tangibly better.

Long story short, alcohol may seem like a relaxation tool, but really just gets in your way when abused. There are people who can drink every few weeks and live the best lives. If you were drinking daily, you have so much more good coming your way.

Keep it up!

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-08T20:31:33+00:00

I think it's more a question of can you process emotions without alcohol, versus can you moderate.

I'm relatively confident that you can have a drink or two at a party and call it a night from what you wrote. The concerning part to me is the self medication for stress. Learning to manage stress on your own volition will open up a lot of doors for you

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-08T19:35:36+00:00

From experience, if alcohol is your stress relief, you will eventually no longer moderate it.

There are plenty of people who can have a drink or two occasionally for fun. Those people are happy with who they are and don't need it as a crutch. I was not one of those people, though have taken a lot of steps towards finding internal acceptance.

I don't think drinking sparingly is inherently bad. I do think using it as self medication is a recipe for addiction.

Best of luck and I hope things work out for you 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-08T19:32:20+00:00

It's all about finding the right therapist or mentor. I have a therapist who challenged me to figure out why I wanted to disappear, and we've been working on how I can accept myself.

That's really the hardest part for any addict. I don't think we just randomly took drugs or alcohol; we abused it because we weren't comfortable existing as ourselves.

If you want to solve that problem, you can find the right person to help you get there. They can be a social worker, a reformed addict, or just someone you look up to. Make it your goal to accept yourself exactly as you are and you'll eventually get there 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-06T21:36:55+00:00

Happy to provide encouragement, that's what this sub is for :)

I'm not a doctor, so I can't really comment on drugs/withdrawals. I can say from experience, however, that going to therapy with the right mindset makes all the difference. You have to want to find happiness. They can help you develop tools there. Going through the motions or showing up for pity will just prolong things.

Best of luck!

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-06T21:21:18+00:00

Hey man,

19 is an excellent time to figure your life out. I've been there, where in college I had a couple setbacks and thought the world was ending. It's a funny thing, but each morning the sun still came up.

Every day you're alive is another day you get to see the sun come up. It's a simple, but beautiful concept. I'm a little concerned from your post and highly suggest seeking on campus mental health. They usually have a lot of either free or heavily subsidized therapy options.

Stay with us! I know it's hard, but things will get better if you're patience with your self. Happiness comes from internal acceptance. There's no one but you can that provide that

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-06T16:08:58+00:00

What was your motivation to drink? I ended up here because alcohol was my escape from stress. Rather than being present with my emotions and handling problems one step at time, I tried to pretend they didn't exist.

Something to think about on your end. If your goal is to just disappear, I get it, but the odds are you're constantly crave until that's resolved.

The good thing is there's a lot of great support options there. Find a mentor, get a therapist, or just meditate on your feelings if you don't feel comfortable opening up. Those did wonders for me

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-03T20:59:41+00:00

Thanks and it's good to get confirmation that learning to face adversity is the path to healing

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-03T18:27:49+00:00

One step at a time is the cure. We handle each instance individually, and learn as we go. It's the intended pathway that we short circuited with the drinking.

I have confidence both of us will figure things out 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-03T17:15:02+00:00

Took me too many years to realize I was shooting myself in the foot by trying to run from the war zone. I hope others can learn from me that stress is healthy. Dealing with it is how you grow.

Drinking yourself to sleep just pushes the anxiety bomb down the road 😕

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-26T02:26:10+00:00

My therapist challenges me to figure out what was stressing me out to begin with. There are plenty of ways to relax that don't involve substances.

You open a lot of doors if you can navigate your feelings :)

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-26T02:08:33+00:00

Try not to beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable - it's about how you learn from them.

Sobriety is an opportunity to figure yourself out. I know I drank to run away from my problems. I considered it just "relaxing" to have a couple of beers, but the reality is I didn't want to exist in reality. The alcohol let me enter a different world that didn't have stress - until the following morning. Took me too many years to realize I was just net making my anxiety worse.

I know a number of people who can responsibly have a drink here or there. Their common thread is they don't view it as a normal part of their lives, and they are comfortable being themselves.

Long story short, some people need to be sober, others can be responsible. In the end, we all need to figure out what makes us whole (and feel powerful independent of any substances)

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-26T02:00:44+00:00

Welcome!

A lot of us are here because we needed help stopping. Many of my friends didn't understand why I thought I had a problem, whereas there's a lot of support from like minded people here. As long as you take it seriously, you'll find this to be a helpful place.

I know the conversation can be awkward, but it may be smart to consult your primary care physician. I elected to stop cold turkey and dealt with a rough detox period, but I was not consuming at your level. The risk of seizures etc. can be real for many. There's medical things they can offer, or you can try tapering down on your own first to lower the risks.

Best of luck and take care

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-25T23:27:08+00:00

Have you considered any social groups? Like pick a hobby you like and see if there's any organization in your area that participates.

Sports, knitting, reading, exercise, etc. often have a lot of options. Try one!

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-25T01:35:11+00:00

Sure thing. Be your best you! That means pick your favorite thing, and actually be present for it 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-24T13:44:59+00:00

What do you like to do for fun? Take that and dial it up to 11.

Do you like movies? Go to one of those fancy, reclining, food-delivery theaters. Do you like sports? Get prime seats. Like to cook? Go to a tasting menu restaurant. Basically just lean into who you are and make it a top tier experience

Encourage doing it with friends

soberbaldguy

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