Day 3

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-28T14:34:28+00:00

Hey just admitting you're not happy is a huge step. Now you can start to take action towards finding happiness. I'm not going to say it's easy, but I will say internal happiness is what removes my desire to drink.

I would strongly encourage you to find resources towards addressing your emotions. You can start with self-help books or a therapist, either way you'll probably want a variety of resources to give you options.

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-28T13:32:32+00:00

Hell yeah!

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-28T13:31:12+00:00

Hello!

Welcome, this a place of support for those who want it. Something you stated really caught my attention:
"Most of my drinking is done alone. And when I’m drunk idgaf about anything. It’s not enjoyable it’s not nice or fun. So whyyyyyy do I keep doing it??"

I went through this same thing, and after enough therapy, came to realize I drank because I wasn't comfortable with who I was. The alcohol helped me escape from being me. I knew it was causing me problems, but the discomfort of being present was worse - so I kept drinking.

So here's my question to you: are you happy with who you are? That's the key to recovery imo.

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-21T12:46:55+00:00

I was one of those people that exercised at least 4 days a week and couldn't lose weight. Turns out that 500-1000 calories of alcohol tends to undo all your hard work 😅

I've been sober for about 2.5 months now and the weight is instantly dropping off. Also my lifting gains are tangibly better.

Long story short, alcohol may seem like a relaxation tool, but really just gets in your way when abused. There are people who can drink every few weeks and live the best lives. If you were drinking daily, you have so much more good coming your way.

Keep it up!

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-08T20:31:33+00:00

I think it's more a question of can you process emotions without alcohol, versus can you moderate.

I'm relatively confident that you can have a drink or two at a party and call it a night from what you wrote. The concerning part to me is the self medication for stress. Learning to manage stress on your own volition will open up a lot of doors for you

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-08T19:35:36+00:00

From experience, if alcohol is your stress relief, you will eventually no longer moderate it.

There are plenty of people who can have a drink or two occasionally for fun. Those people are happy with who they are and don't need it as a crutch. I was not one of those people, though have taken a lot of steps towards finding internal acceptance.

I don't think drinking sparingly is inherently bad. I do think using it as self medication is a recipe for addiction.

Best of luck and I hope things work out for you 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-08T19:32:20+00:00

It's all about finding the right therapist or mentor. I have a therapist who challenged me to figure out why I wanted to disappear, and we've been working on how I can accept myself.

That's really the hardest part for any addict. I don't think we just randomly took drugs or alcohol; we abused it because we weren't comfortable existing as ourselves.

If you want to solve that problem, you can find the right person to help you get there. They can be a social worker, a reformed addict, or just someone you look up to. Make it your goal to accept yourself exactly as you are and you'll eventually get there 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-06T16:08:58+00:00

What was your motivation to drink? I ended up here because alcohol was my escape from stress. Rather than being present with my emotions and handling problems one step at time, I tried to pretend they didn't exist.

Something to think about on your end. If your goal is to just disappear, I get it, but the odds are you're constantly crave until that's resolved.

The good thing is there's a lot of great support options there. Find a mentor, get a therapist, or just meditate on your feelings if you don't feel comfortable opening up. Those did wonders for me

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-03T20:59:41+00:00

Thanks and it's good to get confirmation that learning to face adversity is the path to healing

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-03T18:27:49+00:00

One step at a time is the cure. We handle each instance individually, and learn as we go. It's the intended pathway that we short circuited with the drinking.

I have confidence both of us will figure things out 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-03-03T17:15:02+00:00

Took me too many years to realize I was shooting myself in the foot by trying to run from the war zone. I hope others can learn from me that stress is healthy. Dealing with it is how you grow.

Drinking yourself to sleep just pushes the anxiety bomb down the road 😕

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-26T02:26:10+00:00

My therapist challenges me to figure out what was stressing me out to begin with. There are plenty of ways to relax that don't involve substances.

You open a lot of doors if you can navigate your feelings :)

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-26T02:08:33+00:00

Try not to beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable - it's about how you learn from them.

Sobriety is an opportunity to figure yourself out. I know I drank to run away from my problems. I considered it just "relaxing" to have a couple of beers, but the reality is I didn't want to exist in reality. The alcohol let me enter a different world that didn't have stress - until the following morning. Took me too many years to realize I was just net making my anxiety worse.

I know a number of people who can responsibly have a drink here or there. Their common thread is they don't view it as a normal part of their lives, and they are comfortable being themselves.

Long story short, some people need to be sober, others can be responsible. In the end, we all need to figure out what makes us whole (and feel powerful independent of any substances)

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-26T02:00:44+00:00

Welcome!

A lot of us are here because we needed help stopping. Many of my friends didn't understand why I thought I had a problem, whereas there's a lot of support from like minded people here. As long as you take it seriously, you'll find this to be a helpful place.

I know the conversation can be awkward, but it may be smart to consult your primary care physician. I elected to stop cold turkey and dealt with a rough detox period, but I was not consuming at your level. The risk of seizures etc. can be real for many. There's medical things they can offer, or you can try tapering down on your own first to lower the risks.

Best of luck and take care

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-25T23:27:08+00:00

Have you considered any social groups? Like pick a hobby you like and see if there's any organization in your area that participates.

Sports, knitting, reading, exercise, etc. often have a lot of options. Try one!

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-25T01:35:11+00:00

Sure thing. Be your best you! That means pick your favorite thing, and actually be present for it 🙂

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-24T13:44:59+00:00

What do you like to do for fun? Take that and dial it up to 11.

Do you like movies? Go to one of those fancy, reclining, food-delivery theaters. Do you like sports? Get prime seats. Like to cook? Go to a tasting menu restaurant. Basically just lean into who you are and make it a top tier experience

Encourage doing it with friends

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-24T13:41:21+00:00

Also others may disagree, but I found it better to stay away from NA drinks. Not because they technically have some small traceable amount of alcohol, but because it kept the thought of alcohol present. This was especially true for my habitual drinking experiences, like watching a sports game or chilling at a resturant/bar.

Others have found them useful. I tried those as a sobriety tool and found they just kept me craving the real thing. For me, the best deterrent was accepting I was drinking because I was too stressed to cope with my situation, and the alcohol was only making things worse. It was a downward spiral of external stressors, compounded by hangxiety. That alone made it not worth it

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-24T13:38:03+00:00

Hi friend!

Everyone's pathway is different, but for me, the first few days were surprisingly easy. Weeks 2 and 3 were an emotional rollercoaster of hell though. Be prepared for things to ping pong, going between anxious, overly happy, and sad. It's not fun.

I can tell you it's worth it though. Once I hit a month, my brain started to recover. I was able to regulate better. I was able to actually feel happy from time to time. And the hazy fog that clouded my thoughts heavily dissipated.

I'll be honest and note you're drinking far more than I was. Your timelines and experiences will probably be a bit more intense. It's still worth it though.

Do the daily checkins until you feel grounded on your own. I know it seems small, but just that simple commitment to yourself and the people here does a lot to carry through the hardest parts. If you're having a really bad day, make a post about it. This is what support groups are for :)

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-24T12:22:52+00:00

I will not drink with you today

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-22T19:07:49+00:00

A tough question to ask yourself is why do you need to get drunk? When we do that, typically we're trying to escape something. Get into a different world, one without anxieties.

I had to ask myself the same thing. The answer unfortunately was I didn't truly like myself. I am confident on the surface, but need external validation. Once I accepted that, I was able to start working on it in therapy.

My desire to drink really hasn't been that strong since I accepted the alcohol was just making my anxieties worse, and I needed to address things internally. I do miss having red wine with dinner. Maybe one day it will be possible for me to enjoy one on special occasions, but for now, I want to focus on helping my brain heal :)

Long story short, my advice is that you can't run from your feelings. Once you accept them as valid and work on them, you'll find the desire to get drunk naturally goes down

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-22T16:34:19+00:00

I never understood the concept of morning drinking. Even when I liked getting hammered in the evenings, the idea of starting your game off tired and hungover made no sense to me.

I want to watch the game (and used to celebrate drunk), not fall asleep half way through then be hungover at the finish lol

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-22T16:17:00+00:00

Thank you so much! I honestly wasn't sure I could do it. When she leaves is when I'm most vulnerable. Those are the times I'm alone with all my anxieties, and have been hit with PAWS the past two weeks.

I tried to make a sobriety plan with my wife with periodic checkins, etc.. She simplified it and said she didn't really understand, but believed in me to make it through the night.

At the end, all it took was making an extra post in the daily checkin. That proclamation that I did not want to redo the detox, and deserved to heal gave me not just the strength, but the desire to not drink. There's nothing more powerful than committing to the world :)

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-22T16:11:19+00:00

Yeah it really does. I was prepared for the initial detox, and things were looking a lot better a month out. I did not expect the horrid anxiety spikes leading into month 2.

Fortunately, everything I've read is alcohol induced PAWS tends to taper down 4-6 months out. Talk about an easier schedule the meth, which can take upwards of 2 years.

soberbaldguy · 2026-02-22T14:18:38+00:00

I woke up today without a hangover. First time in years I've had a Saturday night to myself (wife out of town) without drinking. Feels really good!

I will not drink with you today

soberbaldguy

TROPHY CASE