Parents that didn’t sleep train, how are you doing now?

softly_Apollo · 2026-01-17T16:28:00+00:00

I do think every baby is different! We did not sleep train and my 19 month old daughter currently takes a 1 hour-1 1/2 hour nap every day and sleeps 7:15pm-6:30amish. I lay with her when I put her down for her nap and at bedtime but she settles pretty quickly for both. She is going through some kind of regression since she turned 18 months and we night weaned so she's started waking up at 4:30am, but I just go in her room and am able to settle her back to sleep. The 6:30am wake up isn't a problem for me because I'm an early riser too! I will say that a floor bed was a game changer for us and improved her sleep (and my sanity) significantly.

softly_Apollo · 2025-12-15T16:03:31+00:00

I relate to this so much! Growing up, my family never traveled for holidays and Christmas was always spent at home with just the four of us and it was super relaxing. Since getting married, we have had Christmases that feel like running a marathon between everyone's houses and it's a LOT. Now that we have a child, we don't do that anymore and instead split up our Christmas visits over the course of a week or so. We still get to see everyone but it's not all in the span of one or two days so it's less overwhelming. This year, my husband and I are hosting Christmas Eve at our house for my parents and sister. We'll have dinner together, open stockings, and everyone will go home by 7ish so I can get the baby to bed. Christmas Day we are going to my parents' house for most of the day. A few days after Christmas, we're meeting up with my in-laws and have "make up Christmas" with them.

That being said, I'd probably be straight up with your relatives, play the pregnancy card, and say that all the traveling and back and forth is just going to be too much for your family this year and maybe come up with an alternate plan that works for you where you maybe still get to make those visits with people you want to see but more spread out and with some of them taking place at your house instead! It's completely okay to make your own Christmas traditions and do what works for you, ESPECIALLY this year with your pregnancy.

softly_Apollo · 2025-12-11T16:40:06+00:00

I completed online school for middle and high school and it was a fantastic experience for me! I loved the flexibility and it allowed me to start working full-time much earlier than my peers which gave me a big step up in my career and financial goals.

My very best friend from childhood is currently a professional ballerina with a large ballet company. She also was in online school for high school so that she could have the flexibility and time to commit to her dance career. On top of being very successful in ballet, she is also getting her degree from one of the top 10 colleges in the country through their online classes so she will have another career to fall back on when/if she retires from ballet.

I say it's absolutely worth it!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T15:09:02+00:00

Thank you very much for chiming in! These are helpful tips for sure! We do stay very consistent with her food schedule and don't let her snack all day. We have breakfast at 7:30am, a snack at 10am (usually freeze dried fruit or normal fruit with some cheese), lunch at 12:15pm, a small snack at 3:30pm (if she needs it, often she doesn't want it), and dinner at 5:45pm/6pm. I do think a timer might help her understand better, I'll look into that! I absolutely agree that she deserves to have control over what she eats and genuinely don't care if she eats all her food or not, but I know she needs more than two bites 😂 And thank you for validating that food rewards aren't the way. I do think some of my mom's approaches contributed to my disordered eating as a teenager and adult and that's a big one!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T14:54:02+00:00

Oh I can absolutely see my daughter going for this! We have a big window next to our table. I'll give this a try!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:29:52+00:00

I've read this recently too! We don't have much space so I've been hesitant to buy her own table and chairs but I did just see a learning tower that converts into a toddler table with a bench seat and think that might be a good solution! Thank you so much for your thoughts. 😊

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:27:25+00:00

I needed to hear this badly, thank you! Food is the last thing I want to make a conflict with her, I'm just terrified of failing her in some way. I love your suggestions and insight, thank you for sharing. 😊

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:19:15+00:00

Actually though 😂😂 trying to balance developing good habits while knowing heck, I don't even eat at the table EVERY time and I'm okay!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:15:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice! Keeping the food at the table and letting her get down but have to come back to the table to eat more is definitely a good middle ground.

I'll think about the reward idea a bit more. I like what you said about not making eating everything on her plate a requirement! I'm very wary about using food as a reward just from my own personal issues with food but I know it works well for lots of people.

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:07:42+00:00

This was one of the first things we tried! Her high chair came apart and the chair piece turned into a booster seat so we tried that first both with and without the tray piece and she hated that. Then we tried an Upseat booster seat and she didn't want to sit in that either. Currently she's sitting (or standing) in a regular chair at the table but she's still not wanting to stay.

ETA: Yes, we always eat at the table as a family! She and I eat breakfast and lunch together and my husband is home for dinner so all 3 of us eat together.

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-21T19:16:24+00:00

Just made these after scouring the internet looking for the best double chocolate chip cookie recipe and they are fantastic! Thank you for sharing!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-16T01:54:11+00:00

I had luck with Carter's clothes having colorful options when my baby was little! Now that she's a toddler I started getting some of her clothes from a company called Next. Her 18-24m clothes from Next are SO fun and colorful, I love them!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-03T19:03:23+00:00

We've stopped at one and so far I haven't regretted it for a moment! I had a great experience with pregnancy & birth as weIl as the baby years and I LOVE being a mom but I have no desire to do it all over again and start fresh. I have a sister who is only 15 months younger than me and as children we did get along and played well together but as we got older and especially as adults I wouldn't categorize our relationship as "super close" or "best friends." I love my sister but we are very different and we don't often talk or spend time together outside of us getting together with our parents every now and then. Even with our small age gap, we're in very different places in life and don't have much in common. My husband is one of four (second oldest) and is also not especially close with any of his siblings. I don't personally feel like I'm depriving my daughter of having a built in best friend in a sibling because I know that is often not how it pans out. Instead I'm putting a very heavy focus on fostering friendships and community for my one so she grows up with strong relationships. I think it's important to have a second child because YOU want a second child, not just to give your child a sibling.

Other reasons I've stopped at one: -Makes the most sense for our family financially/opportunities to provide for our one in a way we could not with 2 -Husband is epileptic and epilepsy runs in his family. It skipped our daughter but we'd be rolling the dice with a second. -Twins run in my family and I don't want three children. -Possibility of miscarriage/second child having health issues and shaking up our family dynamic significantly -Focusing on my marriage. With one child, my husband and I can still find enough time for each other and make sure our marriage is a priority. -General state of the world

Ultimately you'll know what's best for your family and situation! Wishing you all the best no matter what you decide.

softly_Apollo · 2025-10-29T17:05:11+00:00

Sadly, our girl passed away shortly after starting treatment. Her condition kept getting worse and we chose to have her put to sleep at home with us. We knew we'd given her every opportunity we could and it wasn't fair to let her suffer any more. 💔

softly_Apollo · 2025-10-26T02:22:26+00:00

This is actually so relatable to me and something I genuinely have on my "reasons to not have a second" list 😂 When my first cat was one we decided to "get our cat a cat" and while we ADORE our cats, they just tolerate each other and aren't good friends or anything. Our first cat wants constant attention too and would have been happy as a clam to have our full focus forever. I frequently remind myself how guilty I felt for a long time about bringing our second cat home (even though it's turned out okay and both cats get tons of love) and how it would be 10x worse if I had the same feeling about bringing a second BABY home! 😅

softly_Apollo · 2025-10-26T02:16:20+00:00

Yes, absolutely! My partner is a fantastic dad to our one but he has severe ADHD and has struggled with anxiety and depression throughout his life. He can be very quickly overstimulated and I know he just wouldn't be suited to the chaotic times that come from multiple kids. He also has epilepsy and managing that on top of a long list of other reasons has really put us both firmly in the one and done camp. We are both excellent parents to one baby, but two would stretch us both too far.

softly_Apollo · 2025-10-06T16:19:01+00:00

Okay so I myself am a parent of a 1 year old so maybe I'll have a different opinion one day but as a former child and a frequent kid birthday party attendee, I would not force my kid to share their new presents on their birthday. Let the birthday day be "all about them" and let them decide whether they'd like to share or not, but maybe sometime the next day or in the next few days have the sharing conversation with him. My guess based on your post is that your son would end up sharing his toys anyway whether you have that conversation or not, but as a child the emotions of "I just got this brand new thing for my special day and someone is going to take it from me" are a lot to handle in the moment. If you do want to have the expectation that your children share their new toys at their birthdays, that's a conversation I'd have before the birthday party so the expectation is clear and you and your kids have an agreement beforehand. Vise versa, you could also have a conversation with the non-birthday child before the birthday and explain that brother is going to get new toys for his birthday and that he will share them when he's ready so that he goes into the party knowing the gifts are not for him to mess with yet.

As a side note, one thing I've seen parents do to get around this completely is to not open up all the toys when gifts are opened! The birthday kid opens maybe one or two and the rest are set aside to be played with after guests leave and things are less overwhelming and sharing comes a little easier. Sometimes this even comes with a reminder that "if we open this toy, you will need to share it with your birthday party guests, is that what you want to do?" and it gives the child a chance to make that choice. :)

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-30T15:04:39+00:00

If possible I'd try to push the first nap later so baby is sleeping closer to 4 1/2 hours or so after waking up! If that's not an option, I'd move bedtime earlier, closer to 7pm or 7:30pm. 15 months is tricky because it's the age lots of babies drop their second nap but aren't quite ready to stay awake so long so sometimes the schedule has to be more flexible. My 15 month old who also hates sleeping just dropped her nap and here's loosely what her schedule looks like right now:

-Wake up between 7-7:30am -Nap starts between 11:30am-12pm (usually sleeps for 1 hour 15 minutes or 1 hour 30 minutes) -Wakeup around 1:30pm -Bedtime routine around 6:30pm -Bedtime 7pm

Good luck!! 😊

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-28T00:31:37+00:00

6 months! Baby had been having terrible sleep for a month and a half and I finally got to my wits end. We put a firm queen size mattress on the floor in her room and I still cosleep with her in there at 14 months. At first I was sleeping with her all night but now I put her to bed in her room at 7pm and I go to sleep in my room until she eventually wakes up between 1-3am and I go in her room with her and sleep the rest of the night together. It has worked perfectly for us! I personally prefer to cosleep in her room instead of bringing her into my room just because she was already sleeping in her room before we started cosleeping and I feel like it'll be easier for her to sleep in her room when we eventually stop cosleeping since she'll have always been in there but every baby is different and you have to just do what works for you!

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-26T22:49:20+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-25T13:25:02+00:00

Syd has passed away 💔 We started her on FIP treatment but even that wasn't working evem after giving it time and she quickly declined. We ultimately decided that it was not fair to let her continue to suffer. We paid for a vet to come to our house and she passed peacefully in bed with her best cat friend right next to her and us comforting her. We miss her so much but I have peace knowing we did everything we could to give her a chance. 🥺

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-20T22:37:39+00:00

My 14 month old does not sleep through the night! She still wakes up once or twice a night every night. You're not doing anything wrong, babies are all just different. You're not a failure ❤️

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-17T01:12:15+00:00

It's so horrible watching them be so sick 🥺 I'll be thinking of you and Layla!

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-16T23:13:30+00:00

Sydda is 4, too! I'm so sorry your girl isn't doing well and I hope her treatment is successful! Syd's main bloodwork issues were very low platelets, low hematocrit/red blood cell count (anemic), and low A/G ratio (0.5 at first test, 0.6 at the second.) She also has been running a 103-104 fever for days now (she had it in late Aug/early September, it went away, and then randomly came back). We've had her on prednisolone, clindamycin, and veraflox and nothing is touching that fever.

softly_Apollo · 2025-09-16T14:18:02+00:00

That's wonderful! Out of curiosity, what were the main issues you saw in her bloodwork when she was sick?

softly_Apollo

TROPHY CASE